22th of September

A few more days and it is the end of September! *plays the Green Day song* :D

October is coming and it shows me 2 things, firstly it's my 21st birthday and secondly I have only 258 days left to the end of my service. I've come a long way, from the countless order ins, looking at different 'chio' female camp visitors, gossiping about the crazy perm staff to enduring all of the retarded BS that my PC is giving us. 

I have gained weight back into the healthy range, which is close to 70kg. My running and statics have improved dramatically ever since I completed Polytechnic, so you say that I've changed a lot for the better in terms of physical appearance. 

Recently been chatting and meeting up old friends. There's one friend that I want to share, I used to dislike her in Secondary school because I thought she was very snobbish, attention seeking etc. But when I met up with her after she wanted to meet me after a long 5 years, and her physical image changed A LOT, like as if she was a completely new person (yes, in terms of character too). She's a great listener and gives very constructive feedback when it comes to certain topics like work and life, a good friend indeed. The best part? She even agreed to bring me to a bar which I've never been to before, she also promised to buy me a drink which I could drink and chat with her into the night. An experience I can't wait to try out! :D

Preparations for my 21st is still on-going, I do hope my party will a enjoyable one, will carry on planning as the day draws closer and closer *nervous meme* Like what the old man said, "Fail to plan? Plan to fail. Simple." Will have to put in 110% effort for the planning next week :D

Alright time to sleep!

Justin

13th of September

"The first step into solving a problem is realizing that there is one"

I have been a terrible person these few months, venting my anger and frustration onto my peers and my best friends around me. I have even hurt my family without knowing it.

So what happened to me these few months? I have been jealous, my ego has taken over me, my rage controlled my actions and emotions, I have been a crazy desperate person. Most importantly, I have been terribly intimidated by the people around me, be it whether it is by my friends or family.

To the love of my life, I have never forgotten you one single bit ever since day 1, yes I may have eye candies every now and then, but the person that never left my heart was you. I will probably never have the courage to talk to you ever again, let alone ask you out once more. I'm happy for you for what you have become, reborn with Christ. Congratulations on your baptism and may you have the strength and love to make a positive impact on other people's lives. Never stop showing the world your beautiful smile and I do hope you will find someone that is truly capable of making you smile, forever.

To all of the people that I have made them frown upon me, or shake their heads when they think about a person like me, I'm truly sorry for my terrible attitude and actions once again, I know it is not the first time this has happened, I will definitely work on it and I will emerge as a better person in the future. I know I will not be able to apologize right in front of your faces, but I feel this is the first step into an apology.

9th of September

This week, a terrible week so far. I really can't wait for this week to end because of all the crap that I'm facing and bullshit I have to deal with from the people around me. Firstly, the blue ticks and flying of aeroplanes. Really got sick and tired of this shit, not forgetting the one word replies that people have been giving me.

Am I a person that is too boring? Am I a person that is easily taken for granted and bullied? Am I a person that people think they can ignore?

Fuck all this shit, if people decide to treat me like this, then I guess it's time to cut those people off and scratch them off the list, one at a time, since they feel that I'm not needed in their lives then I won't need those people in my lives too.

At least my friends in the army understand how I feel, they even cheer me up and get me drinks. Really grateful for for them by my side, the juniors are really nice and cooperative. I also admire the fact that they respect a person like me, judging from the fact that I'm a terrible person and they still get along and respect me, I really can't be more thankful for them.