Sucky day

Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, my friend yesterday trolled me to the max, literally to the max. It all started in the morning when I was still sleeping. He texted me to ask me whether I was free to go out to play LAN with him at Clementi mall. I wasn't pissed when I woke up to the text message, in fact I was a little happy since I haven't met up with him for almost half a year. After I washed up and had breakfast, I called him to tell him to meet me at Long John Silvers.

I reached there about 2pm, went to have a small lunch. Then my friend called me to tell me to go to Plaza Singapura instead since his friend wanted to play LAN there. But since I didn't want to travel there (waste money), so I just told him that I was going back home and that I will play from home. Feeling down, I went to take a bus home. I boarded bus 196, when it stopped at New Town Secondary School, a group of female students boarded, I thought 2 of them looked beautiful to me. However, looks are definitely deceving, they started talking and laughing loudly, causing some of the commuters to look at them. When I had to alight, I pressed the bell once, but those girls started laughing loudly and even wanted to piss the bus driver off. So they started pressing the bell repeatedly, for about 7-8 times. I could tell the bus driver was pissed, since he started accelerating and decelerating the bus, causing them to lose their balance.

Those girls alighted the same stop as I did, and they started laughing about the bus driver's pissed look, shame on them seriously. When I reached back home, I went to shower, and just laid on my bed. Then my friend called again, saying that his friend had given him loads of problems so he decided not to play with him and wanted to meet me back at Clementi. However I was already at home so he asked me if I could go out again. Seriously? Who does he take me for? A fool? A retard? Someone which he thinks he can troll?

Anyway I felt sad the entire day, so I just went to rewatch coffee house again, just to cheer myself up. Mum came back home with Nasi Lemak for dinner, then she made a cup of coffee for me, really appreciated it. Went to watch episode 8 of Dream High 2, then went to rewatch We Got Married Leeteuk And Kang Sora episode 10 and 13. Chatted with my friend for awhile before going to sleep. Oh well it pretty sucked for me on that day, really hope things can improve soon.

Shall stop here for now, my mind is completely dry.

Seriously

I have been super frustrated the moment I came home from the airport. I was kind of grouchy and pissed at the same time, and it's one of the worst combos to have when you are playing DOTA. So basically I cursed and cursed repeatedly, to the point I just felt like quitting DOTA for good.

For the past 2 days I lost every single match that I played. In addition, it was the just after the exam period, so my gaming standard expectations was very high, but I just failed to meet those standards.

My feelings and mood wasn't really that good these few days. People around me don't actually know how I even feel right now. Sometimes I feel extremely angry and frustrated, and I have to vent it on something. I can't possibly vent in on my family or friends. Therefore, the only thing I can vent my frustration on is by gaming. But because of my standards rising from time to time, if I don't meet those standards, my frustration builds up more and more instead of releasing it. Sometimes I feel that I suck in everything because I just don't meet those basic expectations of mine. I shared this matter with my mum, asking her for her opinion whether what I'm doing is it good for me? Or is it just leading me to a path of destruction?

There's another matter that has been bothering and frustrating me since a very long time ago. Women, are like Queen in chess, in which protects the King, and that women can help clear a man's messed up life. My life, is really in a bloody mess right now, to the point I can just literally go crazy. I really want a girl, a girl that can understand how I feel, listen to my feelings and emotions. People around me are finding their other halves already, just like me. I'm really jealous sometimes, and I always ask myself this question from time to time, Why is it just not me? Why?

The word why appears very often in my head, as if it's bugging me to answer that question in my head. However, the answer will not be found that easily. So I guess I'm back to the same point in my messed up life, unable to advance, and most likely fall back down into that pit of destruction.

Exams over

My last paper ended minutes ago. How relieved I felt, when I handed up my paper and walked out of the exam hall. But of course, the feeling of uncertainty stil lurks somewhere inside my head. O well, I guess it's all over, and it's time to enjoy myself now :) right now I'm heading to the airport to join my friend. He's going to HK soon, so since my last paper was today, I decided to see him off at the airport, then head home.

Maybe I can join my friends on a game of DOTA today? I guess so. Anyway I'm in the train right now, so I shall stop blogging now since it's a little inconvenient to do so right now in the midst of many people.

:)

Last second of the final hour

With only a few hours left to the final exam paper, I just couldn't relax enough, I did the test papers with much uncertainty and with very little confidence. I just have to hope for the best, and make sure I don't have any information leakage from my brain tomorrow (lol)

Today I woke up, watched happy together 3 on my phone, tried doing tutorial again, but I got distracted by my friend who was chatting with me on skype. Ate lunch while watching We Got Married, I really missed watching the old couples like Seohyun <3 YongHwa and Victoria <3 Nichkhun. Sadly, the couples whom I follow their episodes, are coming to an end now. Super Junior's Leeteuk and Actress Kang Sora, and T-ara's Eunjung and actor Lee JangWoo, are all ending soon. To be honest, I actually wished that they really got married in real life. Oh well, back to reality. They did many memorable things together, and also shared the kisses in which was very time stopping when you watch them.

Anyway, with only 8 hours to my exam, I guess I will just sleep throughout the night, and head to school about 7am to do some brain refreshment formula readings.

Alright, shall stop here to get some sleep. Will blog again tomorrow :) Nights! :)

Morning

It's now after lunch time, just ate my chicken rice, now slacking on my bed. I didn't really sleep that well, slept at 2+ yesterday because I went to watch Happy Together 3. Got rudely awaken because of my brother playing Trouble Maker on his phone. The whistling sound woke me up, and I shut the door because I couldn't stand the sound and I was feeling mad. Ate my late breakfast, then I went to download 7 more episodes of coffee house. I insisted that that drama had to be in my com because I somehow felt that it will be taken down sooner or later.

Went to game a while for about 1 hour+ then I tried to re-download another childhood show that I remembered (but failed of course, the torrent refused to budge). So now I'm back slacking on my bed, because I'm feeling extremely lazy to do the test papers online. Shall blog later, I'm going to get some more rest.

Bad exam paper

It's been a day since my Engineering Maths paper. Speaking of my Engineering Maths paper, I was like uncertain for about 60% of the whole paper. When the paper ended, I was frustrated, just then my classmates wanted me to go to Redhill with them. However I was like pissed and frustrated, and I couldn't just vent my frustration on them, it wouldn't be nice and it will make me look like a retard.

So I just gave a excuse and said that I was low on cash. I headed to food court 4 and had a plate of grilled fish rice and a cup of Milo. I headed home and went to game (oh well). Later at night I went to re-watch the first 3 episodes of Coffee House. That really cheered me up alot since I got to see Eunjung's simple personality again. I think she really did a very good job playing that role in that drama. I really hope she can play roles like that in the dramas that she is featured in more often in the future.

Got really bored of DOTA, kept losing match after match, I think I lost 20+ matches in 5 days, really disappointing. Anyway I decided to dedicate time in finding good dramas and variety shows to watch. Currently Running Man and some other childhood shows are what I enjoy watching. Shall not reveal what the childhood shows are, but it's a Japanese show.

I gamed till about 2, then I was lying on my bed thinking about what my year 2 will be like, and what will my final year GPA score be. Since my Engineering Maths papers wasn't good, my GPA is sure to be below 3.5 :/ oh well, I guess I have to work harder in year 2 if I want to secure a place in uni.

Shall stop here, I'm going to watch Coffee House now :)

Few Hours

With only a few hours left to my first paper, I finished all of the revision papers today. But I still don't feel confident enough, maybe it's just my forgetful memory of the info? I really don't know. 

Anyway today I went to school early to do some practice papers. I reached school around 11, then I headed to FC4 to sit down and study. As I was looking for a seat, I saw Ryan revising his work near the entrance of the upper floor. I went to join him in revising our work. I went to bought a drink and did 1 practice paper. Wasn't really that tough :) About an hour later, the cleaners told us that the upper floor had to be cleared for cleaning, so we all moved down to the mid level of the food court. Around 2+, another friend of mine finished her exam so she came and join me for lunch. Originally I didn't want to have lunch, but after I saw the food that she bought, I thought :" Why not just grab some food? Since you have been craving for grilled fish all day long".
So I went to buy a plate of grilled fish rice with black pepper sauce. I gobbled down my food quickly and played about 3 songs in TapTap. My performance has really deteriorated by almost 300k points, so maybe I can work on that after my exams(?).

After lunch we went to the swing at Moberly to relax for a while. We played on the swing for a short while (honestly I didn't really dare to sit on that swing because the ropes look really worn out, as if it was going to snap any moment, it really reminded me of the swing incident back at my old house. I was swinging at a very high height and with a large force, then one of the chains snapped while I was on the swing in mid air. I sort of 'flew' quite a bit before crashing on the ground).

We played at the swing for about 20 minutes. I needed to head home soon so I gave all my friends a goodbye hug, then I headed for home was dead tired when I reached. I actually wanted to climb up 29 floors but I was too lazy to do so. Watched episode 6 of Dream High 2 after I took a shower. I felt so sorry for Kang Sora, all she wanted was her apology to be accepted by everyone, instead everyone just stuffed all the apples she gave out to them as a form of apology, back into her locker. When she opened it, all the apples rolled out like a waterfall, really pitiful scene. 

Did the revision questions again after dinner, then went to watch  episode 46 of Running Man starring SS501's Kim Hyun Joong. I actually wanted to re-watch Coffee House cause I really wanted to see Eunjung's charm again :D but it was almost midnight when I finished watching Running Man. 

It's 12:48am, I have to sleep now because I have an exam paper to conquer tomorrow morning :) goodnight! :)

1 more day (continued)

It has been a hectic day in school after studying fro about 2 hours with my friend. The paper wasn't really that bad, despite having to refer to my own notes sometimes. The paper that I did yesterday night totally killed me because I did the paper at 1 am to 2am, then I really could take it anymore, so I decided to surf facebook for about half an hour. I switched off my com at 3:00am. I tossed and turned in my bed for about 40 minutes then I sort of managed to fall asleep until about at 5:00am when the winds picked up speed and the rain started pouring.

I woke up again to close the windows in my room and the living room. My body was really tired at that moment, but for some weird reason I wasn't able to fall asleep. Subsequently I managed to fall asleep and woke up at 8:30, then I went to surf facebook for a short while before washing up and eating breakfast. I went to watch some shows on my com for awhile before going to school to meet my friend.

1 more day

1 more day before my exams, I managed to do 1 sample paper. But of course there were things I didn't know how to do. And of course I referred to my notes and I was able to do most of the questions that I couldn't :)

Anyway tomorrow I am meeting my friend in school for a study session. I hope I will take this session seriously as I only have 1 day left to properly study before the start of my exams. Anyway we planned to meet around 12, but my mum will probably tell me to go to school like around 10 to study first. Then after that we planned to go to Clementi mall to eat since there are no food courts opened in SP tomorrow. 

I actually felt like watching Coffee House again. Haha I kinda miss seeing the simpleness charm in Eunjung. Maybe after my final year exams, I can go and watch it again and again. 

Speaking of dramas, I started watching The Salamander Guru And The Gang. Apparently it features SHINee's Minho and g.o.d's Son Ho Young in the first episode. So I decided to continue watching it. It's a pretty funny drama since there was some comedy inside it. Another drama I started watching is called The Moon That Embraces The Sun. The first episode is pretty not bad, it makes me want to continue watching it. 

Right now I'm trying to look for dramas that Eunjung acted in. Like Queen Insoo, and another which I forgotten the name. 

It's pretty late (3:12 AM) I have to get some sleep. Goodnight! :) 

Capture

6 more days to my final year exams. I have studied, but I really feel that I can do better. Anyway I started watching this drama just yesterday. It's called Coffee House featuring T-ara's Eunjung. Don't ask why I started watching this drama. 

Anyway I have watched about 12 out of the total 18 episodes. But I was not really satisfied with the streaming links to the videos as some of them were broken, about 20% of the links available in fact. Eunjung, has a very unique charm that captures my attention. She portrays a simple minded coffee girl in a small coffee restaurant, longing to go out into the world, and become a famous writer. 

However her life was changed (for the better and for the worst), when her senior introduced Eunjung to become a writer's secretary. The writer has a extremely weird attitude and personality. He always wants his pencils to be sharpened at a certain length, coffee must be made to his own liking and taste, and also having very weird and unpredictable mood swings. With alot of stress, he always releases his stress by asking Eunjung to dance or to make him laugh by doing silly actions, basically making a fool out of herself just for his own self entertainment.

Despite all of the humiliation, Eunjung still decides to work for the writer. She always tolerates his eccentric personality, and always fulfills his requests diligently. That was what really captured me about her. 

Back to reality, if only I was able to find a girl whose rather simple minded, yet honest, diligent and capable at the same time. Someone that would let me hug and protect her, at the same time, giving her happiness. 

Happy Forever Alone day :/ (another name for Valentines Day)

Bothers

Alright I guess I am back to this blog after a long long time (didn't bother counting how many days I have not touched this blog). Anyway my final year exams are around the corner, 2 weeks more to be exact. I do feel a little worried to be honest, because I keep having this feeling of not revising enough for it. In school I am sometimes really sleepy, I try not to sleep though. But my mind just wanders off very easily. I do text in class though, I texted a few other friends, just to keep my boredom away and also to not fall asleep.

I have started eating new foods in school, instead of just eating chicken rice or fast food for almost every week, I started eating hotplate and guess what? It fulfilled my beef cravings almost everyday! Right now I felt that I walked out of a hurricane alive after so many assignment and lab tests completed in such a short time. But I know I am going to walk right straight into something bigger, a hypercane. My final year exams are right around the corner and I feel that I am really not trying my best to study. That really bothers me alot as I still have other assignments to do. I have a photo essay to complete, and another lab test around the corner.

Another thing that really bothers me alot is the 14th of February. Will the forever alone prophecy be broken or will it still continue? I really hope that the prophecy will be broken, only time will tell.....