24th of November

So proud of myself after a long time, I managed to complete a 3.6 km run even though I was dead tired after returning home from camp. After running, I did some walk-the-plank pull ups and 100 controlled strength sit ups. 

I did some self reflection in camp this morning since I was unable to fall asleep while waiting for my shift at noon. I realised how stupid and naive I was for the past 21 years of my life, and not to forget I also regretted a lot of my actions I made in the past in which I am totally regretting it right now. Many of my friendships have been strained and tension still exists right now, but wherever they are, I just want to say that I'm terribly sorry for my actions and decisions that caused things to end up terribly. 

While running, every moment felt like hell, literally. After 1 km I totally felt like giving up after every single step I took. But what made me press on? I guess that would be the end result. I knew that if had given up, I won't get the result that I want. If other people can press on for an entire marathon, what is 3.6 km? When I completed the run, I never felt more happy and alive and I even forgotten how tired I was. 

Right now I'm chilling with some music playing through my speakers, I have made another decision which I should have made many year ago. I will not quit so easily as I used to. 

Tomorrow will be a new day, and a fresh start for me. It will be another day of training, and hopefully things will be great like today.

Justin

23th of November

Been so listless recently, some how I seemed to have lost part of myself due to some sort of unknown reason. People have been cheering me up with all the stupid shit that we have been doing in camp, things like crazy workout routines, messing around with the card system with people that we don't like.

Back at home I've been watching alot of random videos ranging from cats meowing, strength wars, to even PDS. I missed my days back in the NCC, when I was really active in the Precision Drill Squad. Hwa Chong PDS never fails to amaze me, same goes for Yishun Town PDS. Oh well, memories be memories.

Didn't even sleep well during the night shift even though I had at least 8 hours of rest break given to me. I managed to complete the last 4 hours of shift before I headed home and instantly crashed on my bed for a good 4 hours before waking up for a super late lunch. At least mum bought me a lot of rice so at least I would be full for a long time. I didn't really do anything else besides watching shows and gaming on my computer before it was time for some daily math to put some oil on my rusty brain. I managed to complete one chapter but it was a short one so I guess tomorrow will be another day of math once again :)

On a good note, I applied for this Korean course though the SAF, so I will be getting course notes and practice stuff real soon! I'm quite glad I made this decision as I was stuck in choosing further math and taking up a new language. Hopefully I will be able to complete the course and get the much coveted language cert before I ORD :)

Alright time for bed, new post tomorrow! :)

17th of November

I'm back! :)

It has been more than a week since the last post was uploaded. Have been sick last week so I haven't been able to find the time to upload a post. I didn't even have the energy to even workout, eh well technically (unless if you count 100 push ups as a form of full workout).

Did 2 overnight shifts on the last 4 days and I've got one more coming up. Good thing is that I'm going to TP day after tomorrow to get some good lunch there as my friend told me he wanted to introduce some good food to me. I've never been to TP before so I'm really looking forward to some good food there:D

I'm very glad that I caught up with an old friend whom I've known for more than 15 years. I asked her out and we had super good food :D We went to Pepper lunch express after we met up at the station and she even offered to pay for me (actually she had a card so she offered to pay for me first :\). Grilled salmon rice for her and Pepper beef set for me with a mashed potato for my sides :D We strolled around the mall and looked at books at a bookstore. She was holding this lil' Japanese toy that she really liked and wanted to get it so badly. I laughed at her since she looked so funny trying to explain to me and even showed me different Japanese wordings (Hiraganan, Katakana, and Kanji). A few books that caught my eye, were the marvel comics as I was looking for the Infinity War comics and also hopefully the main Civil War which Captain America was in.

Unfortunaly I couldn't find what I wanted, so we both headed out of the shop and went to this dessert restaurant that both caught our attention. We ordered this choco brownie and ice cream surrounded by hot chocolate, while she ordered a chocolate milkshake as an extra drink for herself. It was extremely good as I never ate such a good dessert before (:D), and it was worth the price. We both left the restaurant feeling full but satisfied, then we both headed for home and parted ways.

Right now my stomach problems returned, don't know what caused it and I don't know how long more will it last. Hopefully I do manage to eat and sleep properly if possible, it is not causing any problems or hindering my sleep, but I do feel like throwing up if I eat overly full. Doesn't really sound that pleasant to me and my stomach, but since I felt like crap so I went to eat some stomach medication a few minutes ago.

It's 11;40am, gotta report to camp at 7 am tomorrow morning for another night shift. Nights!

Justin

7th of November

Was supposed to go to the gym with people from Bravo, but I was feeling feverish the day before so I didn't go in the end. I just sort of made this day a rest day since I have been training non stop for the past 5 days. To add things up, I also had flu, I'm not sure if was from the vaccination jab or I was exposed to the dusty areas in the block :\

Still, I managed to crank out 222 push ups before the late afternoon detail, just that I was feeling a little crappy since I was supposed to be sleeping.

Recently a few things hit me pretty hard in the feels. Firstly is the fact that I got extremely jealous of this section mate. He has everything that I wanted, so I felt terrible even after a few days. Next is the relationship destroyer, called the horrible legend of the blue ticks. Yes, after many encounters with people who choose to blue tick me instead of giving me a simple reply, I am now actually expecting people to actually 'blue tick' me.

I haven't really talked to anyone on whatsapp or on skype for more than a week already. Fact is, I'm actually pretty amazed how some people can keep conversations going with people for months, while I am actually struggling to keep conversations going for more than a day. Oh well, I guess like always, I am the one that people forget or leave out all the time since they think it's okay.

On a side note, being left out has its minute perks. One of them is being able to do your favourite things without being judged, and another is that you are able to spend more time on personal achievements. Right now I'm doing 1 hour of mathematics every single day, and it is to get my head working after not touching work for 2 months. I'm also singing along to my favourite Korean songs with the lyrics that I have saved inside my computer. It's feel pretty good when you are able to sing a song that is of a different language when you don't even have proper knowledge of that language! :)

Alright, back to camp tomorrow morning! Gotta go to sleep soon:)

Justin

4th of November - Discipline

I once read a book about learning the art of understanding yourself better, and there was this one quote that I only recently recalled.

"In everything you do, all requires discipline. Even things that come right down to what you do daily, also requires discipline. If you have no discipline, then you can forget about achieving your goals or pursue your dreams. To understand yourself better, you must first master discipline".

Discipline is something that I have yet to understand in depth, let alone master it. I do fall into temptations pretty easily, as I succumb to the peer pressure around me, all around me in fact.

One example of starting to learn proper discipline, I actually signed up for a savings plan few months back just to make sure I learn the hard way of controlling my monthly expenditure. As a NSF, my monthly allowance is very little so I have to spend even lesser due to the monthly payment of the savings plan. Even though I have saved a decent amount, no amount is enough for my future. My future is going to be a rough one :\

Time to sleep, waking up at an ungodly hour to go to camp tomorrow morning :\ (had to rush through this post because it's super late and I have to sleep :\)

3rd of November

Freaking got locked out of the house because I misplaced my house keys, and I had a terrible stomachache from the breakfast opposite the base. Imagine enduring the pain and the huge urge to use the toilet, and I had to look for my mum that was somewhere in the neighbourhood. I managed to get into the house after getting my mum's key, and had a good shit :D

It's been around 4 days since I sat down and properly did some math while not getting distracted by the things around me. Unfortunately it only lasted for 45 minutes as my minecraft server was open and my friend was telling me to get some stuff built quickly. After playing some minecraft I headed downstairs for a very quick night workout. At the chip up bar, I saw this middle aged man practicing some Wing Chun and his basic form was GOOD, like no kidding. I really wanted to approach him and talk to him but I remembered it was disrespectful to interrupt someone while he/she is practicing the basic form.

I proceeded with my run instead of approaching that man. I don't know why today I tried running my usual 2.4 km speed, and I sort of almost collapsed just after the halfway mark. Had to stop because I sort of feared that I would collapse or something. I don't know whether it is because I didn't sleep well due to the overnight shift before or just that I haven't been running recently. Disagreed with the latter as I ran the day before mounting. Back at the chin up bars, I used the sit up station and cranked out 65 sit ups with all my might (my core is terribly weak), then I headed home to crank out 100 push ups before hitting the showers. 

216 more days before I ORD, sometimes I do tell myself, "It's been a while, but it has been a swift but rocky journey." From the permanent lack of manpower issue to the stupid BS that my PC and some of the perm staffs that give us from time to time made me pretty much immune to their barks and their unreasonable requests. Well screw them all, I'm just here to do my job and not to please them (meh). 

Alright, standby day tomorrow, hopefully no cockster take MC, or else I won't be able to come home tomorrow :\

1st of November

Here comes the 2nd last month of the year! :) Which also means that I've got less than 7 months before I ORD :DDDDDDDD

I woke up with my arms and chest aching because I completed an intense gym session with my army friends the previous day. We ended everything with a good meal at the nearby coffee shop, I had a plate of Roasted Chicken Breast rice with a cold drink before we all headed for home. Energy levels hit sub zero and I totally had no energy to do anything else so I opened my minecraft server for my friends to play on it while I went to take a short nap. Mum bought chicken chop for me while my brother got me a bowl of laksa, eat until super super full :D

So today I followed my parents to SAFRA since my dad had to do some sports admin stuffs there, while waiting I got myself a subway sandwich since I was super super hungry and I didn't want to wait all the way till my dad finished his work. Headed back home just in time for lunch, mum cooked for me my favourite home cooked food as I was watching some CS:GO funny videos before I went to do some math that I cracked my head over :\

So... 7 months left and I have to achieve my ultimate goal, which is to get gold for my IPPT. Still trying to focus on each station my working out bit my bit every single day. I have tried the daily 200 push up regime, unfortunately on some days I am unable to do because I'm on overnight shift. Therefore I compensate it by either doing more the day before or after I dismount from camp. My highest record so far is 355 push ups in 35 minutes, and I still remember I immediately fell asleep after I bathed :D.

My long weekend is finally over and I've got to go back to camp tomorrow morning for another 24 hours shift :\ This week ended pretty good after going through rough times mid week, and I'm looking forward to the new week ahead :)

Justin