Wednesday, 30 July 2014

31st of July

7 days left to my national service, and I haven't been training for more than 4 days, starting to be a little worried since I'm pretty weak. Went to see the Chinese physician yesterday to request for more medication, the physician was very kind in explaining what I could eat and what foods I should avoid for the time being.

So I was supposed to meet Xing Tang today to have with him in school, just that I didn't check my whatsapp so he went to have lunch with his friend instead. Ate lunch at home and played some old games, then went out to meet Janson since I requested him to being his own non camera phone so that I can use it for my BMT. Was a little late so when I reached there he was sitting with his sister's boyfriend, and they were playing their handheld console game sets. Went to buy some tea break for myself, a cup of hot milo and a plate of traditional butter kaya toast :)

Chatted with Janson and we actually discussed about our future ambitions, and I shared with him my story about that special someone :D 

The main point about this post is that something magical happened to me today which caused me to smile non stop, like even now :)

Last night I contacted her again and I asked her how she was, she replied cheerfully that she was doing real fine. I was happy knowing that she was fine, and that I wanted to ask her out for a simple meal. She didn't reply me so I thought she was tired and might reply me the next morning. This morning when I woke up I thought she replied but to no avail. 

So I decided to message her once more, this time I went straight to the point and asked if she was free before next Thursday. She replied to me saying that she wasn't free and University was starting for her. And I actually went to ask for her number after I gave her some small words of encouragement, I totally regretted asking her and I thought that it will be awkward from that time onwards.

Crestfallen, I went to my buddy's house for a birthday celebration. Had so much fun and laughter since I was feeling down , even did crazy stuff like lying down on 3 of my buddy's laps since the car was full and I had to squeeze in since I was the skinniest of them all, plus selfie shots since all of is were feeling 'high'

She actually messaged me later on with her number, and when I saw it I ran around the dining table like a mad man, smiling non stop. I couldn't believe that she gave me her number, she told me that she trusted me not to abuse the number, and I was really thankful that she actually put her faith in me.

So right now, I'm just lying on the bed and smiling like a crazy person. Guess it will be tough for me to sleep today, will continue smiling till tomorrow morning :D

Justin

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

29th of July

8 more days to my national service, I remember having so many mixed feelings about going in and suffering a lot. However, right now I don't have any thoughts and feelings about enlisting, perhaps I felt crappy too long until I am actually used to the feelings. Have been forcing myself to train as I felt that suffering in the army isn't worth it, even if I have to suffer, I don't want to suffer so much. I guess this 'motivation' has pushed me further a bit, to the point in which I am able to do 7 proper pull ups, which is a very very big achievement since I wasn't able to do even 1 last time.

Yesterday was my brother's 22nd birthday, so my family decided to head out to have a birthday dinner for my brother. We headed to Star Vista as it was pretty nearby and had a few decent restaurants to eat, and we chose the Korean restaurant 'Born-ga' since my brother was craving for Korean food. We ordered a large amount of food, and they actually gave a large amount of veggies since Korean food was especially famous for their veggie wraps:) Ate some kimchi since the main course didn't arrive as fast as the side dishes, popped some salad into my mouth as I was really hungry. Soon the main course arrived and then we continued eating.

So these few days I have been focusing my training on my upper body, especially my arms since I wanted to do a certain number of push ups for the training. Yup just push ups and more push ups, and some motivational quotes and thinking of her while training just helped me alot. My aim? To get the $400 incentive in NS because I want to buy a new computer by myself without my parents spending a single cent, because I want to show them that I can buy the things that I want without giving them headaches on why they should spend the money on the things that I want.

So it's 1:15 am in the morning, and I'm listening to some music to just calm myself down since I'm about to lose my knowing that I'm about to completely lose my freedom in another 8 days time.

Mind blank

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

8th of July

Didn't really sleep well since there was large storm raging outside at around 3am, the winds were like super strong and made really loud howling sounds and shook the windows quite strongly. I remember waking up and checking twitter and Instagram before going back to sleep.

Woke up at around 8+ since I told myself that I wanted to head out for a morning exercise session. Managed to drag my feet off the bed and washed up, are breakfast and then drank the powdered medication mixed in hot water (at least it didn't taste so bad, the first time I tried tasting it in room water temperature, I almost died drinking it). Wanted to watch some Running Man on my phone since my mum won't be joining me for the morning exercise since my mum is joining her friend from the Friday night Tai-Chi class. Had to watch the show at my brother's room since the wireless was much much stronger as compared to my room. Since I didn't really know what episode I wanted to watch so I just scrolled through the entire list of episodes on Wikipedia, so I just watched the episode when the cast went to China and the guests on that episode were KARA's Kang Jiyoung, Actress Lee Yeon Hee and Kim Joohyuk. I watched for over an hour or so, then mum came back home with lunch, so I continued watching while having lunch :)

So in the end I didn't went out for morning exercise since I had already had lunch, I ended up watching another long episode of running man. In that episode, it featured guests like Actress Go A-ra (고아라) and Lee Yeon Hee. I loved that episode has it was pretty unique and relatively hilarious, watched halfway and I had to go and charge my phone as watching the previous episode drained the battery of my phone all the way till around 30%. While charging, I decided to play abit of music, since the restlessness was kicking in bit by bit. Blasted Hyolyn's One Way Love, and a few of my other favourite songs.

Had to leave home to visit the Chinese physician as a follow up to the previous week's consultation. Was feeling a little annoyed on the way there, and to make things worse, I had to wait close to an hour since the person at the counter keyed in the wrong number for me. But after reflecting and thinking that the people in front of me were elderly and needed more time for consultation, it made me less annoyed. So after consultation, I gave the number back to the counter and went to sit down, but before walking to the seats, my mum asked me if I wanted to leave first because I agreed to meet my friend at Bugis+ at around 4pm. So I agreed and left the place first, on the way to the MRT station, I gave my friend a call to tell him that I was on the way there. After reaching there, he was already playing so I just stood behind him and watched him play for abit. He kept telling me to sit down and play with him since he told me that I came all the way down from Queenstown to Bugis+. I went to enquire some stuff from the counter, after that I booked a computer and started playing, but for some reason the game that I wanted to play couldn't be launched, and I can't say that I wasn't disappointed as I had to settle some monetary stuff in game since I wasn't online in that game for more than 2 weeks already. 

The person asked me if I wanted a refund or something, but since I already sat down, I would just make full use of my time there, so I just told the person that I could just play other games instead. Reluctantly played Dota, but couldn't concentrate in game so I sort of abandoned the game halfway. Then I wet out to have dinner at the Subway outlet at the same floor. Chatted with my buddy as he ate dinner, we talked about stuff in game and the attitudes to take when playing dota and such, then we all left for home. 

Walked though SP as I wanted to save money by not taking the bus home. I walked past places where I first met and saw her, plus the places where I interacted and lastly the place where I confessed to her. The memories that flowed back were so surreal, and almost felt so real, as if I was seeing myself and the scene playing back. So while walking through the interior of SP, memories came flowing back bit by bit, as I recalled the things that I did / saw in SP, I missed them all. Will be going to the army soon, and it will be a completely new environment as compared to school. 

Was feeling like crap when I reached back home, so I went out for a walk after dinner just to lighten my mood and I didn't feel so crappy after that.

Will stop here for today as I have to do some note taking for some friends of mine :P

Justin

Thursday, 3 July 2014

7th of July

So I've been out of action for more than 2 weeks, because my laptop died on me (it sort of had some graphics card problem, so I had to send it for servicing as the screen had some uniform lines and also having constant blue screens after switching it on). Had to carry on with life without a com for the next 13 - 14 days). So for the first few days I had to endure life without a computer and also that since I didn't have one, I requested my buddy to have a sleepover at his house. During that day I followed him to Clementi Mall as there was a Starbucks 1-for-1 offer, he wanted to order this strawberry frappe with whipped cream and got another one for his father. After that we went to the Clementi hawker center and we bought some fried kuey tiao while I got some mixed fried noodles and a burger from McDonalds :) After that we took a bus back to his house, then he had to rush off to MY to fetch his brother back from the customs. When we reached his house, I was greeted by his mother that was a little mad at him, and his mum asked him angrily where he was as he needed quite abit of time to travel to the Causeway. So after we entered the house, he had to leave in a hurry, leaving me and his mum in the house. His mum started doing some Sudoku while I was given permission by my friend to fiddle on his com for abit, so I decided to watch some music videos while enjoying the music. I talked to his mum every now and then and she actually wondered how I could actually just sit down there and just watched the music videos all day long without doing anything else, well for me if the music videos and songs are good, I would be able to just sit there and just listen to the music :D Listened to music until around 6+ while his mother kept on painting, then I went to watch some Running Man, was totlaly hilarious since there were some of my favourite idols being absolutely goofy. I rememeber I didn't watch finish the entire show as I wanted to play Sniper Elite v2, quickly downloaded the game and started playing. But I'll be honest, while playing I dare not raise the volume too loud as the game had some gore and bloody scenes, especially after you fire the bullet from a long range and the slow-mo camera action with the bullet piercing the skull and destroying it with the blood splattering out, is quite a gore-ish scene for his mum so I just did body shots the whole time when his mum was sitting near the TV screen. Later, she received some call in which she had to leave the house in a hurry, apparently my friend's younger brother had encountered some problems at the customs in MY as his passport had already expired, therefore denying him entry back into SG. Before my friend's mum left the house, my friend came back, therefore I wasn't going to be left alone to game. We played abit of sniper elite as I wanted to show him how smoothly the game runs on his computer. I roamed around his house while he was playing. Lazed around the house since I was a little sleepy.

We left the house to buy some late night snacks at Sheng Siong supermarket, I bought a chocolate bun and an 1.5 litre honey green tea bottle, and not forgetting a cup of hot milo for the late night :) My buddy bought some biscuits for himself, and after that we decided to take a walk around his neighborhood. At first we headed up to the carpark's roof garden, we found a bench and we started chatting. We chatted about the many things that were going on in our lives, and I also shared about her, like how she's carrying on with her life, and also some personal problems of my own. I felt really good being able to share with someone face to face about my problem as it removes a huge load off my chest. 

We talked through the night, and went back to the house at around 6:10 am, he used the com for awhile more to update one of the pages that he is managing. I lazed around and lied down for abit, then later he decided to sleep. So we went to sleep in his room. I lied down for about 10 - 20 minutes, but I couldn't seem to sleep. So in the end I just got up, went to his living room and started making notes for my friends. Steadily, I managed to endure the tiredness that was taking over my body bit by bit for more than an hour. I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye to his mum as it would be so rude and disrespectful, so endured till his mum woke up. Not long after I was about to fall asleep, his mum woke up and had to make breakfast. When his mum saw me making notes for my friends, she went, "你这样早起来就去读书了? 你不累吗?" (Which translates to: "You got up so early just to study? Ain't you tired?") I told her that I couldn't sleep so I just got up and did something productive for my friends. I talked to his mum for quite a while, then I had to leave for home I wanted to buy some breakfast for my mum since I thought my mum was sick. So I went to the kitchen where his mum was and I told her that I was thankful that she allowed me to stayover for one night, I gave her a hug since I was feeling thankful. After that I woke up buddy up as I had to leave for home, he wanted to send me to the bus stop but I just told him to go back to bed since he was really tired and I didn't want to disturb his sleep. Went to buy breakfast at the market near his house; some fried noodles for my mum, and mixed noodles, a fried egg and some small pieces of luncheon meat.  Boarded the bus after that and headed for home.

So for the next few days I just stayed at home and made notes, and on Saturday I went out with the 2 girls for lunch and gave them free tuition at the same time. Since they listened attentively when I was explaining, I guessed the time spent on the notes was worth it :) We walked around Star Vista and snapped a few pictures before heading back home with a cup of Honey Green Tea in my hands. Blasted some music back at home, especially to songs like CNBLUE's Can't Stop, Hyolyn's One Way Love.

Few days later, I called up to check whether my computer already repaired or still under processing. My former colleagues told me that it was under it's final testing and if everything was I could come and collect it the following day. So the following day, headed down to the service centre with my mum, and when I first tested out my computer at the counter, the casing wasn't closed properly and the fan seemed to be freaking out a little as it would work very hard when I opened simple programs like Chrome and IE. So I gave it back to the counter and told them to rectify the problems, while they rectify the problems, I went for lunch with my mum at KFC. After lunch we went to the top floor challenger and went to look for some computer mouses. After considering, I went to buy a Razer Abyssus mouse and a simple Logitech mouse for my dad, my mum did the payment instead, so I'm pretty thankful :) 

After collecting my computer, we went to buy some food and left for home. Back at home, I immediately went to test out my computer. But to my horror, the fan worked unusually hard, and my laptop even shut down when I was gaming. Disappointed, I had to go back down to the service centre to have them to re-rectify the problem. 

So it has been around 3 days since I re- sent in my computer and I just called in to check on the status, and they told me that I had to wait till around the 7th or 8th of July to check the status. So I guess it's no computer till the end of this week. So in the meantime I might continue heading down to the Cybercafe at Clementi stadium or just continue with my training for my National Service. 

So it's around 30 days left on being a normal civilian, and I won't know what's coming up for me in NS, all I can hope now is that I'm able to pull through the initial 2-week compulsory confinement. Right now, my family and her will be my greatest sources of strength, since I will be facing the battle alone when I'm in the army.

Will stop here for now, have to get some early rest for today.

Justin.