29th of July

8 more days to my national service, I remember having so many mixed feelings about going in and suffering a lot. However, right now I don't have any thoughts and feelings about enlisting, perhaps I felt crappy too long until I am actually used to the feelings. Have been forcing myself to train as I felt that suffering in the army isn't worth it, even if I have to suffer, I don't want to suffer so much. I guess this 'motivation' has pushed me further a bit, to the point in which I am able to do 7 proper pull ups, which is a very very big achievement since I wasn't able to do even 1 last time.

Yesterday was my brother's 22nd birthday, so my family decided to head out to have a birthday dinner for my brother. We headed to Star Vista as it was pretty nearby and had a few decent restaurants to eat, and we chose the Korean restaurant 'Born-ga' since my brother was craving for Korean food. We ordered a large amount of food, and they actually gave a large amount of veggies since Korean food was especially famous for their veggie wraps:) Ate some kimchi since the main course didn't arrive as fast as the side dishes, popped some salad into my mouth as I was really hungry. Soon the main course arrived and then we continued eating.

So these few days I have been focusing my training on my upper body, especially my arms since I wanted to do a certain number of push ups for the training. Yup just push ups and more push ups, and some motivational quotes and thinking of her while training just helped me alot. My aim? To get the $400 incentive in NS because I want to buy a new computer by myself without my parents spending a single cent, because I want to show them that I can buy the things that I want without giving them headaches on why they should spend the money on the things that I want.

So it's 1:15 am in the morning, and I'm listening to some music to just calm myself down since I'm about to lose my knowing that I'm about to completely lose my freedom in another 8 days time.

Mind blank