Up till now

Up till now,

I have been missing in action for a few months, because quite a number of things have been going on in my life. And so I will start with the 5th Semester's exams that ended about 3 months back. I tried preparing early for the semester exams, with me preparing up to 2 weeks for just one particular module. The exam papers were fairly okay, just this one particular module, which killed almost everyone. The stuff that came out during the paper wasn't really what we all prepared for. Nevertheless, I managed to get a grade 'B' for the paper, and my grade point average (GPA) for that particular semester was 3.568 out of 4. After the semester exams, was a 6 week long vacation in which I wanted badly because I felt that I worked pretty hard for the semester exams.

During the 6 weeks, I had to return to school for almost everyday because I'm currently working with a few friends for this 'Final Year Project'. This project was considered the most complicating and tedious project up to date, as we had to do many troubleshooting and testing, and with the new parts and modifications to the machine, it was even time consuming. For me, I was tasked by the group leader to create a scoreboard using a number of Light Emitting Diodes (LEDs). I tested out the circuit on a simulation software on my computer, worked out just fine. However I did not get the result that I wanted, I really didn't know what to say about the failure.

Anyway the main point of this post is to share about this particular person that I set my eyes on for more than a year. I saw her in year 2, when she sat in front of me in during Engineering Maths lectures. Took no notice of her for the first few weeks, until she sat in front of me. She has a very, I would say a 'bubbly' personality with a bit of playfulness every now and then, and yes, she's Korean. Not that I only JUST like Korean girls, it's just that she has that particular charm in her in which is hard to find in other girls, in which got me very attracted. Feelings didn't really develop until this year, just that I rarely saw her in school. Until recently, I saw her again, and I swear my heart fluttered whenever I see her.

Today, I was told my the group leader to attend this talk for my final year project, I arrived 10 minutes before the talk started, and my stomach wasn't feeling so good as it was bloated with air. I texted my group leader as he was attending the briefing with me. As I was standing and just chilling there, I saw this guy who was her friend, and he looked like he was going to attend the talk too as he was standing and waiting outside the same place as I was. I ignored him and continued listening to my music. Minutes later, she came, and I swear I totally didn't expect her to appear in front of me. Anyway she did, and just when my stomach was about to feel better, it started churning, my heart started racing and I could obviously feel my feet sweating. The best part was that, even though she noticed my presence, she continued chatting with her friend, and she ended up standing less than a metre to my right, and yes, LESS THAN a bloody metre. I tried stealing glances of her every now and then as I was texting the group leader, but of course the glances became stares. Obviously I didn't stare at her when she was looking (that would make me a creeper, literally).

During the talk itself, I couldn't help but to just stare at her again and again. She smiled and laughed, and that just made me feel good because at least I know that the woman I love, is happy. I stayed throughout the talk, and I left with the group leader after she exited out of the lecture hall. I felt glad as I got to see her after quite some time, but at the same time I felt a little sad because it's one of the last few times I am going to see her before I graduate.

Throughout the whole day I couldn't stop thinking of her, her smile just kept flashing inside my head over and over again, and from time to time, I will break out into a weak smile, knowing that since she's happy and safe, I feel contented and happy for her. So yeah, poured everything out from my heart and time to get some sleep as it's 3am in the morning and I've got to go out tomorrow.

사랑해, 박소연씨

Justin.

Confessions

Okay shall use the blog to sort of pour out my thoughts for the past few days.

Have been gaming, a lot. I would say gaming with a fake identity online really has opened my eyes to how people care about you even if it's an online game. I was once friends with people from the opposite nation. But they never really talked to me a lot, until I decided to leave. That was when people starting messaging me asking me why I left, and loads of questions with the word 'why'.

That was when I realized people don't really care about others until it's either too late, or when they are gone. After I left people started talking to me more often in game. I felt good as it still had people to talk to, the bad was that I could not get over the fact that people didn't care about each other and only wanted to just be the best.

This next segment will showcase the may reasons why I'm still single after 18.8 years of my life.

1. I'm not good looking (people say that personality counts the most. But I would say 99% of the people will look at appearances first before wanting/getting to know their personalities) I am no exception, just that I will not know that girl more if the girl's personality is shit.

2. I'm probably the most boring guy ever. My lifestyle is the most boring one ever. If I've got no school, I would just wake up, have brunch (or sometimes directly have lunch without breakfast). Then just game all the way, till dinner time. Sometimes an afternoon jog and workout at the fitness area near my house. Then after dinner, it's gaming again till I go to bed. Boring right?

3. I'm a poor guy (probably one of te most obvious reasons why girls don't like me). As much as I want a relationship (yes, I know I sound desperate for one), I know I will never be able to please her because I don't have the money, unless I've got a proper full time job. Anyway everyone around me knows that I've got no money. Unless the girl appreciates the time with me more than the monetary poccessions (impossible to find one these days)

These are the main 3 reasons, there's more, just that I'm too lazy to get them all out here.

Next thing I want to get it down here, is about caring for people. Why I decided to care about people more? Because I feel that people have to be happy, by being happy, can lead to many more happy things happening to them. If they are not happy and can't help themselves, then I will step in and talk to them. But what about myself? I'm not really happy with myself to be very honest.

I get jealous all the time. Jealously is a very big sin, and I will sometimes ask for forgiveness if my jealousy gets the better of me. Now you will ask, what am I jealous about? (I think I will put them down like in a list)

1. Jealous of health

I have 1001 health problems, and the main problem is my stomach (I think the previous posts will tell you more about my stomach problems). I am jealous on how others can eat whatever the hell they want, and here I am only able to eat that few foods because of some effects of those foods towards my stomach.

2. Jealous of looks

I was never handsome, and I guess I will never be. My stomach problems has caused me to slim down to a person that is only skin and bones. Furthermore, I am as weak as a kitten, and I'm pretty sure I will do terrible for my fitness test that is coming up in a month's time. So right now I look like some pathetic idiot that only sits at home playing computer games and spazzing to Korean celeb crushes. Yup, that's who I am. 

All in all, I know I am a very unhappy person. But that knowing that there are many more unfortunate people out there that is still fighting on, I know that I still must fight on like them. I promised myself I will stop feeling sad and jealous and move on with life with a much more positive attitude. 

Justin.

Day 3, 4 and 5 of no computer

Day 3 of no computer

I woke up around lunchtime, had some quick lunch, I think I ate fish porridge. So most of the time I was slacking in my bed, watching Korean variety shows and blasting and rocking to my favourite songs. Took a long nap till dinner time, ate dinner while listening to music. After dinner, I played 3 hours of Solitaire on my phone till my phone ran out of battery, applied some moisturizing cream on my fingers as the skin was cracking and bleeding a little. Watched some dota 2 matches with my brother's phone. Fell asleep early since I was quite bored. Looks like the boredom is starting to set in, you could say that that's the "withdrawal symptoms" of no computer gaming for 3 days.

Day 4 of no computer

At the night of day 3, was feeling giddy and sick, so I decided to go for an early morning run on the morning of day 4. Woke up around 7:50am, slacked in bed till around 9am. Seeing that the weather was about to freak out, I quickly headed downstairs for a run. For some reason my legs felt really heavy when running as compared to the previous times. Maybe it's because I was running early in the morning with an empty stomach? Anyway I headed back home safely in one piece. Had some breakfast but didn't finish it because I had not much of an appetite. Watch Korean variety shows and went to sleep for about 2 hours, woke up and talked to my mum. That night I watched some news, in fact I was so bored, I actually watch news broadcasts of 4 different languages! Had a late night snack before going to bed. Tossed and turned as I was unable to fall asleep, I listened to music instead. Around 2am, I managed to fall asleep with much difficulty, since the weather wasn't helping. 

Day 5 of no computer

Dragged my feet to school, had an interesting lab session involving sensors and instruments. Had some trouble with the instruments as it was properly connected but it gave weird readings, the readings sort of freaked out until the lab technician attached the digital multimeter to it. The next lesson was a tutorial session, the lecturer went through 4 long questions involving the formulas for the different kind of sensors. I was pretty much starving throughout the tutorial session, so I tried my best to concentrate in class while my stomach was happily rumbling away. Haha. Went home after lunch, listened to music and took a nap.

Laptop freaked out

So what happened recently was that my laptop decided to freak out, the wireless driver software decided to play hide and seek with me, disappearing and reappearing, causing my wireless adapter to malfunction intermittently. I tired reinstalling the driver software a few times, but it always failed to work the moment I rebooted my com.

So I made a choice, which was to carry out the reformat process to my com. After school, I headed home and went to back up all my data to an external hard disk. I proceeded with the reformat which took about 30 minutes. After reformatting I quickly downloaded all the essential software, some games, and transferred my documents over.

The wireless driver still had problems, and my laptop overheated twice on the same day. So I made up my mind to send my laptop for the hardware repair. 

Day 1 of no computer.

Came back home after sending my laptop for repair. Had lunch, and slept for 3 hours from 3pm to 6pm, had dinner, watched Seananners's videos, blasted music and laid at my bed till I fell asleep. 

Day 2 of no computer.

Tried to wake up as late as possible, close to lunch time, had some noodles and a cup of hot drink for breakfast, slacked around, read e-books with my phone. Had fish porridge for lunch, laid in bed for 4 hours, then went out for dinner. Had some steamboat and KFC after that. Starting to feel really bored without my com, I think I have to endure it for another week or so. No idea how I can endure that long, but I will try my best to carry on with life.

Company attachment (Industry Training Program)

It's been about 2 weeks since I started my Industry Training Program, and I could say that it's a pretty good experience for me. Firstly it's because this is my first time being attached to a company outside and also I am looking forward to doing the jobs/tasks that are assigned to me.

I was posted to this company at Funan Digitalife Mall, called 'Laptop General Hospital'. For the first week I was asked to sort out laptop parts for stock taking. The first day that I arrived, the stock taking was about 90 - 95% completed, so we only took about 2-3 hours to finish the rest. It was pretty tedious because some parts were very minute and fragile especially when it comes to parts like RAM, or laptop hinges. Nevertheless, we completed it after much frustration and difficulty. I made friends with 3 other interns that were attached to the same company as I was. I can say that they are a bunch of cool people, we talk and joke around during lunch time and also during work times when we bump into each other. Since 2 of the interns are working under the admin section, they get to leave at 6:30 pm. I am working under the customer service section (front desk reception), so my working hours are longer than the admins (around 10 hours of work including 1 hour of lunch and break time).

Nevertheless after working for 1 week and 4 days, I actually do enjoy myself because being at the front desk, I get to see people from all walks of life, and also their different personalities. There was this kind customer with his friend that came to book in their laptop as it was experiencing some charging and power adapter issues. After serving them, his friend said to me," Justin, your service is really very good! Your boss should really promote you! It's really difficult to see this kind of service nowadays" After hearing this, I felt really good and also a little embarrassed. It is because this is the first time a customer ever praised me for good service. However I am still a Polytechnic student on company attachment, therefore there won't be any promotion for me. I replied to him telling him that I am still a Polytechnic student and promotions won't be needed for me. But to my astonishment, he told me it's okay and told me that I still deserved a promotion.

I couldn't stop smiling after hearing it, it also means that I should keep up with that standard of customer service.

There was another similar customer, he came with his family. The 2 kids were a little playful and kept roaming around the workplace. He joked around about using Medisave (Medisave is a scheme in Singapore that is applicable to hospital patients), because my workplace's name is called Laptop General Hospital. He was an awesome man because he put faith into us, and even though the time taken for repair and diagnostics for his laptop will take around 5-7 working days.

*will update the rest at home, did this post at work!*