End of holidays, mixed emotions

Well, it's nearly the end of my holidays. And it's also gonna be my birthday very soon. 3 more days to be exact.

Well what did I do during the holidays? The most memorable one, was the trip to Japan. It's been about 3 weeks since I came back to Singapore, and I'm missing Japan really really badly. I wish I could go back there, but its too expensive. Well, I will really miss that place. The people, the food, the services, and most importantly, the accommodation. The accommodation was really good, even though we changed hotels almost every day (except for the 2nd last and last day)
Compared to Singapore, Japan really has 5 stars when it comes to services and accommodation.

Now for my love life. No changes. That's right, no changes. I lost even more hope compared to before. People that I talk to, stopped talking to me, like permanently. I feel like some retard whenever I text/call/tweet/whatsapp someone, and he/she doesn't reply. So I gave up, I might as well don't call or text since people don't bother replying to me. I guess I'm too insignificant to them.

People ask me why don't I chase girls?Well firstly I don't have the looks, nor the physical build that girls want. I also don't have the intelligence either. What's the use if I have a heart? Most girls go for guys with good looks and good personality. In the end, every single girl will avoid me like plague.
The good part of that is that I can stay positive, knowing that I will be alone forever, and also knowing that I'm not good enough for any girl.

Sometimes I think about the happy things couples do together. Some examples like heading out together for vacation, for movies, for nice meals and musicals, sitting under the night sky and looking at beautiful stars. Some of them I really yearn for, for a long long time.

I have very little friends, the amount of best friends (friends whom I can really trust), I can count them by using my own fingers. I was never popular and I will never be.

I suck at almost everything that I do. Be it studying, I can never be as good as those top students in which I yearn for the same results as them. I can never be good at sports, I get tired really easily, I suck at maintaining my stamina. I get owned in games, be it CABAL online or dota 2 or Command and Conquer.

Maybe I should just stay at home everyday, and just play Minecraft, and keep playing till I just collapse and die at home for good, and no one will know about my death, since I'm so insignificant.

Signing off.