Finally at least a week's rest from camp, been so tired lately with the constant mounts and dismounts from camp. Many things happened recently and I just felt like sharing it here (well even though no one reads but I don't really care).
First thing is the inner battle in your heart and mind. The battle with my mind started because of the inner temptations that my mind and body craves, resulting tons of guilt being felt again and again. Food is one of the sinful temptations, been having tons of 'tze char' or '煮炒‘ every other day in camp, or we will end up eating fast food like KFC and McDonald's if we didn't had 'tze char'. The result? The obvious drop in stamina and the tightening on my tight fit army uniform, and it got way more difficult to put on.
Oh well, had a terrible migraine for 13 days straight, gastric problems for 4 days and my aching right joint near my hip ever since the migraine started :\ That gave me even more problems because with the aching joint I wasn't able to go and run as often as I planned to go, every step that I took when I moved forward just hurt so much that my mind is just telling me not to carry on after a certain distance. Migraine and gastric went away, but my leg still hurts. Doctor said it might be a posture problem and also the problem with me sitting down too often (sigh, I'm sitting down as a I work in camp, so in the end the amount of times that I sit compared to standing will still be more no matter what :\).
Next, love hurts. I still think of her after 2 long years, she's moved on while I'm still trying to. Every time I see a lady of my age, the first thing that comes into my mind is her, I will subconsciously ask her questions that I want to her to know in my head, questions like how is she doing, whether she's coping well with university and such. When I pay a visit back to her Facebook profile, and I see that she's smiling angelically as always in her photographs, then all my questions to her have been answered. Even though I know she's not smiling at me or for me, one thing's for sure, she's indeed happy with her life and that I should feel happy for her too. Whether I will see her in the future, that's one very difficult question to answer, but I will always be supporting her from the darkness and shadows.
They say that love can make you do extraordinary things, but love has made me blind and I know that because I sometimes feel like I'm pushing people away from me because I'm feeling moody and thinking of her, I don't know luh.
At least I've got a week to rest, and I have to settle the problem with my leg once and for all. I had to postpone the recent IPPT because I couldn't run properly, and next I want to go to the restaurant at the botanic gardens with my friends because they serve very good food there:)
Till then, continuing life with my injured right leg :\
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