18th of October

Recently I have been reading a lot of quotes, pictures and some shows with deep meanings behind it. One of them hit me real hard.

"Finding balance and enlightenment within yourself/.
7 energies to unlock, 7 purposes, but blocked by 7 different emotional marks.

- Earth energy, located at the base of the spine. Deals with SURVIVAL, but blocked by FEAR. What am I most afraid of? Let them be clear to you, surrender the fears and let them flow away.

- Water energy, located at the sacrum. Deals with PLEASURE, but blocked by GUILT. What are all the guilt that burdens your soul? What do you blame yourself for? Accept the reality that these things happen, but do not let them cloud or poison your energy and soul. To be a positive influence in the world, you have to forgive yourself.

- Fire energy, located at the stomach. Deals with WILLPOWER, but blocked by SHAME. What are you ashamed of? What are your biggest disappointments in yourself? Remember, you will never find balance if you deny this part of your life.

- Air energy, located in the heart. Deals with LOVE, but blocked by GRIEF. Let all of your grief out in front of you. Love is an energy, and it swerves all around us. Your family and friends love for you is not lost, but it is deep inside your heart and reborn-ed as another form of love. Let the pain, flow away...

- Sound energy, located in the throat. Deals with TRUTH, but blocked by LIES. What are the lies that we tell ourselves? You have to first accept that destiny that you want, not the destiny that someone else is trying to force upon you.

- Light energy, located in the centre of the forehead. Deals with INSIGHT, but blocked by ILLUSION. One of the greatest illusions in this world, is the illusion of separation. Some things  you think are separate and different, are actually one and the same. Like people, but we all live as if divided.

- Thought energy, located at the crown of the head. Deals with COSMIC energy, but blocked by EARTHLY ATTACHMENTS. You have to let all of those attachments GO. Let them flow down the river forgotten. Think of the lovely attachments that you have, and let them go."

That part about letting go of earthly attachments, the people I love, the people I care about, and most importantly the love of my life. In order to understand more about myself, I have to give up many things, including her? I was in disbelief. I'm not sure whether I wanted to understand myself more, or to continue things the way they are. The image of her flowing away from my life, just terrifies me. What will happen if I made her flow away? Will I be as empty as before? Or am I just going to find someone else and fill up that spot so that that emptiness feeling won't come back? But if I do that I'm just finding excuses for myself, and being extremely selfish.

Right now I guess I will just focus on the first 6.