Confused

It's has been eternity (1 week) since I last posted something, I guess I was too lazy to post, and to be completely honest, I almost forgot that my blog even existed (LOL). Anyway last nowadays, Shannon is the one that always wakes me up early in the morning by just SMS-ing me, and of course the ringtone of my phone will wake me up. 

Anyway, I guess I have gotten a little better in DOTA (Defense of the Ancients). At least I know when to assist and kill at the slightest opportunity. And of course, the hero that I know how to use the best is Yunero (Juggernaut). 

These few weeks, I realized I am getting happier with my poly friends, but sometimes I do get frustrated because of some minor issues. Today I had to go to school because I had to finish up my IE (Introduction to Engineering) project, which consists of soldering a few components. I got up from my bed and my injured legs (especially my knees), were taking it's toll on me. I dragged me feet to school, and Leon texted me telling me that they were at food court 4. However, I mistaken what Leon said (more of forgot) and I went to food court 2 instead, when I entered the food court, I was wondering why I couldn't find them.

So I gave them a call and asked them why I couldn't find them. Until Jmeen noona told me that they were at food court 4 all along. In other words, I made a huge blunder and I had to walk all the way to food court 4, while carrying my toolbox and enduring the pain coming from my injured legs and knees. While walking to food court 4, I was fuming mad until to the point I was ready to go berserk. I blamed myself of my own stupidity and on why I did not realize I was at the wrong place. So when I met them, I refused to eat, my frustration levels were at it's peak when I met them because I know I didn't want to eat at food court 4, but I wanted to actually eat at the McDonalds outlet at the Triple E building. 

So after Leon, David and Jmeen noona ate finish their food, I went to eat McDonalds breakfast (HotCakes with sausage and an upsized Milo), I gotta admit, I never felt happier after I ate everything down. After that we all moved to the Spectrum's top floor. We found a table and we all started using our lap tops since the IE lab that has free access only opens at 1. Leon then suggested playing DOTA. we all agreed. Anyway I was kinda surprised when Jmeen noon actually wanted to play DOTA with us. 

As usual I played Yunero (Juggernaut), with high spirits, I thought I could get a good result in that game, since it was partially an in-house game. However I was wrong, David pwn-ed the shit out of me, killing me 7 times. That was when I realized how lousy I was in DOTA.

After that game, we moved up to the lab and settled down ourselves before starting to finish up our circuit boards. Since Jmeen noona didn't know how to do her circuit board, she asked Leon to help her, while I continued me and Leon's group assignment. At the start, it wasn't so bad because I simply desoldered those bad parts. But later when I had to solder the VCC part into the board, I started getting frustrated as the solder entirely stuck together. So basically I resoldered it again and again.

Anyway I left about 3+ and went back home to have tea break. My legs were killing me by the time I was at my house's doorstep. After eating my teabreak, I went to play DOTA public game, as usual I got flamed again and again for not working properly with my teammates. Oh hell, I was really demoralized, it looks like I will forever be a noob in DOTA I guess?

Today I woke up at around 9+ when my mum told me to go and cut my hair, obviously I couldn't say no to my mum, so I reluctantly agreed. I had a light breakfast since I had breakfast very late because I was lazy to get out of my bed.

Anyway Shannon texted me to wake me up. She had to go to school for the national day dance rehearsal in my secondary school. Haha I could vividly remember the time she asked me why I didn't have a girl friend. It got pretty awkward at first, since it's the first time a girl actually asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend. 

So I replied her that I was still scouting for one. I think none of my friends know who I even like now, besides I can't and I will never tell that person my feelings for her, instead, I will just watch her from afar as she goes into happiness. As for me, I guess I'm a pretty impatient person. Whenever I see couples happily holding hands and waking together, I get very jealous of them. It's because I just wonder why can't I be as happy as them?

But if I sink too deep into these thoughts, I will just end up being selfish because I know love can't be forced. Many of my friends tell me that in Poly, it's easy to get a girlfriend. However, I'm not getting the results I am expecting. Therefore, I am still gonna wait, and continue scouting for the right one for me. 

It's 1:13am in the morning, I'm gonna stop here because I'm too tired to continue posting. 

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Open House

Okay it looks like I haven't blogged for about 4-5+ days already, cause either I was too tired to blog, or maybe I guess I was just lazy. Anyway today I had to wake up early because I had to go school for an open house. When I reached school, there were many parents and students accompanying their parents. My mum and I went to sit down on at the auditorium

Basically that day we talked to our personal lecturer on about the module options for year 2 and also the industrial attachments that we will be receving.

*Signing Off* (Don't ask why this post is so brief and short)

End of week + weekend part 2

After I reached back to Bishan station, I went to meet up with Wei Jie and a few others. They were playing arcade so I went inside the arcade to meet them, however we got chased out because apparently I was wearing the SP T-Shirt, so I couldn't go inside. I went to Popular Bookshop and I was scouting for language tutorials as I wanted to pick up basic Korean but I always failed to find those with standards (those which I could understand)

After that, we went to eat lunch at Long John Silvers, William (Wei Cheng) and I went to order first, Faiz and Nazrinn ordered their meal after us. After lunch I went to call Leon to meet up with them cause Wei Jie had to leave early. After that I went to return my donation bag to the counter and then I took a train home. On the way I chatted with Leon with something about our class.

When I reached home, I was dead tired so I went to take a short nap, Shannon was in Indonesia so I couldn't text her if not I will pay extra charges (zzz). Anyway I decided to use my com all the way till midnight, I was expecting some good things to happen to me in maple today.

Basically I used com all the way till about 12+ before going to sleep.

*Signing Off*

End of week + weekend

I could say that this week is reasonable good and bad for me. The good thing about this week is that I got back my Structured Programming lab test, I passed with flying colours with a score of 96/100. The bad thing is that I'm gonna have a hard time doing my GenEd project, cause I will be cracking my head on how to properly allocate the work. Anyway yesterday I went out of dinner with my parents at some Thai restaurant near Alexandra Vilage.

I could say, the food wasn't pretty bad after all. The fish and the Tom Yam soup was the best out of what we ate for that dinner. Anyway after dinner I went back home to use my com and I of course, went to play maple for a while, surprisingly I managed to up 60% that night by chionging Rex party quest. I went to chat with Shannon for a while before I went to sleep. What caught me by surprise was that she told me to call her a princess(?) Anyway I did I was told to (which is to call her princess whenever I text her), and she would call me a prince(?) in reply.

Today I woke up at 6am because I had to do a flag day at Bishan, I reached about 7:15, and I sat down there like a retard. About 20 minutes later, I saw Leon and Jmeen noona. Okay I really felt absolutely retarded and stupid for coming extremely early for this flag day. Anyway, this flag day wasn't a pleasing experience for me. For the first 1.9 hours, I followed Jmeen noona and a few others to Ang Mo Kio hub to do our flag day.

At the start, we first took a train to Ang Mo Kio station and we went to look for stuff to do. We ended up wandering around for almost 2 hours. Then at one point we saw a familiar face from 1B/21. Then Si Jin decided to stay with him to do flag day together. Jmeen noona, Leon and David decided to buy Koi to quench their thirst(?) Anyway, I felt kinda bad to not do daly day, because I saw other handicapped people putting in effort to do their part for the children's handicapped association.

So after some consideration, I decided to do flag day together with Jonathan and Si Jin. Half an hour later, I decided to give up because no one wanted to donate any money to me, so I called Wei Jie as I wanted to meet them up in Bishan. So Si Jin and I walked back to Ang Mo Kio station. Along the way, I saw Edwin from 1B/21, and Si Jin decided to stay behind and continue doing the flag day.

Okay I am kinda tired and I need some sleep for the night.

*Signing Off*

Thursday

Today I woke up at 5.50 as usual because Shannon texted me to wake me up, then she went to talk about what happened in school the day before. Actually the real reason why I woke up early because downstairs of the block where I live at, some one was fumigating the area, so the noise practically woke me and my mum up. Anyway, after my dad and my brother left the house, I went to switch on the com and started downloading songs.

I went to change my ringtone from 2pm's I'll Be Back, to SHINee's Lucifer. I guess I got tired of my old ringtone so I decided to change to something better(?). Anyway, when Shannon reached school, she went to talk to her upper sec friends, so I didn't text her, and I went to play one of the campaigns of Left 4 Dead, which was utterly boring, anyway I laid on my bed for a little while then I went to watch abit of SNSD's Hello Baby on my phone, then I watched the same episode of Invincible Youth in which Sooyoung <------- (:D) was featured in.

"Sooyoung so cute" was what I thought when I was watching the entire episode. I headed to school after that. I reached about 25 minutes before the lesson started. The first lesson was a 4 hour practical (sian), and then currently it's been only about 2.5 hours into the practical and I got to survive about 1.5 more hours with an empty stomach. I guess its all about my willpower.

Well, gotta stop now, I'm too hungry to continue.

*Signing Off*

Tuesday

Today was a reasonably good and a reasonably bad day for me, I was feeling down the whole morning, my left eyeball hurts for no apparent reason, but the main reason was my confused heart and mind. Till now, I still don't know who to choose. However, I thought over again and I came with one half of the solution. Since I will never get a chance to meet that person, I will just continue being her fan, supporting her from behind.

As for the other person, I will not tell her my feelings for her, instead I will just watch her from her, as she gets happiness. As for me, I think I will just wait, maybe in the distant future, someone will appreciate my love for her, and I hope will love me as much as I love her.

*Signing Off*

Monday (continued)

After AutoCad lesson, I stayed back after class to finish up my AutoCad individual assignment with the help of Jonathan. When I was doing halfway, Sam and Faiz came back to the room to finish up their team assignments. We chatted as we were doing our own stuffs, I was having a great time laughing together with them. After finishing my assignment, I walked back home.

While walking back home, I thought long and hard. Should I forget the girl that I might not have a chance to even meet her? Or should I forget the one which I can talk and meet up with her? My mind was in a turmoil, my mind just couldn't stop thinking about both of them, and what my decision will be.

Sometimes, I just think to myself, Am I the only one that likes two girls at once, and unable to make a choice? I just don't know.

*Signing Off*

Monday

Okay, I got a boring Digital Electronic tutorial lesson, and then the lecturer kept walking around so I couldn't play games in case the lecturer actually found out that I was playing. Anyway, before the tutorial even started, I went to play abit of maple. I was kinda surprised that the Mysterious Path 3 map was actually empty when I arrived. I trained for about 7 minutes until I felt super bored.

I went to watch some funny videos on my YouTube channel, then I went to show Jonathan some of them, and of course, we had a great laugh. David then suggested that we play a fast game of Dota (WTF mode), I agreed and within 3 minutes of the game, I destroyed 2 towers, (pretty fast eh? <---- it was in WTF mode so its kinda obvious).

Anyway this morning I woke up at about 6am when Shannon texted me on her way to school, she talked about those irritating attire checks in school (I hated them too, the teachers always target me for my long hair). And honestly I didn't know that she stayed in a semi detached house (3 stories, which is about 2.8 times larger than the house that I am staying in). Shannon actually told me to come back to fairfield to help out with my CCA.

At the same time, she can meet me for the very first time :P. She was telling me the previous week that she wanted to meet me quite badly, I also don't know the reason why.

Okay AutoCad Lesson is starting soon, gotta stop soon.

*Signing Off*

Weekend

Okay I was supposed to do my project work allocation today, but I just got distracted by Sooyoung today :) I was watching Invincible Youth on Youtube and even the village chief thinks that Sooyoung is pretty :) haha I guess I'm not the only one that thinks so. Anyway, today wasn't a very good day for me, cause I destroyed my scarlion boss hat in maple (zzz), and that was the first time I got so desperate in getting money just to buy the scarlion boss service so that I can get my helm back.

I ate lunch at about 2 because me and my brother refused to go out to buy lunch, so in the end, my mother just went to buy lunch for all of us. I ate lunch and then I tried to do some of my project allocation, and then I got distracted by the girl that I like right now. Well, I think she is happy at where she is right now, with a bunch of new friends and without me.

Anyway, I was looking at some of SNSD's variety shows, and there was this show called Invincible Youth. I watched about 4 episodes, I was happy when I was watching it (okay I think I sound like a mad man when I say this). Okay I think I am really crazy for liking two girls. Gotta choose only 1, that one who I can meet, or the other one who I may never have a chance to see in real life.

Well I guess I will need sometime to think about it.

*Signing Off*

Quotes

"With every step you climb another mountain, every breath is harder to believe" Seems familiar? This is one of the sentences in one of Adam Lambert's song, No Boundaries, in which it refers to how a person's dreams and imaginations can have no limit in achieving.

Okay, lets say for this year, I would like to lose about 3-4kg in my body weight, and I would like to learn basic fighting techniques in Wing Chun, and maybe I could also find a girl this year(?). Well, I would be more than happy if I was able to actually find 1 that loves me as much as I love her. Its gonna be very hard, BUT I'm still gonna try, you will never know unless you try right?

Anyway, today during Wing Chun training, we were told that there was going to be PT (Physical Training) sessions. My heart sank when I heard it, I have not exercised for at least 6-7 months, and then it is gonna last for 8 weeks. What makes matters worse is that I think I have totally lost my stamina. So I guess it is gonna be tough for me.

I'm kinda tired so I'm gonna get some sleep now.

*Signing Off*

Week 2 of school after MST

Woke up at 5.50 today because Shannon texted me, haha she can actually be my alarm clock cause I don't think my alarm clock is not really effective, and just a message from her and I can wake up. Ironic isn't it?

Anyway I reached school particularly early because the sky was overcast, so my mum insisted that leave the house earlier so that I don't get caught in the rain. When I reached school, I went up to the classroom and I stood there in front of the classroom alone, and I started thinking about my Digital Electronics assignment and whether it was complete or not.

I went into class and I sat down, took my assignment out to do some final touch ups(?)
I then talked to Wei Cheng and Wei Jie about dota, I guess I gotta learn how to play better? When class started, we were told to hand up our hard copy of our report, and then show the lecturer our Multisim circuit. Well, the interview was easier than I thought, and basically the rest of the lesson I was just talking to my other classmates.

After DE was PEEE lesson and my stomach decided to growl badly, I needed to eat something BADLY. So I tried to endure and listen at the same time (rather difficult). After what seem-ed like eternity, the lesson finally ended and I went to eat lunch .

Okay, AutoCad lesson is starting soon and I am gonna play dota with my classmates. I shall stop here for now.

*Signing Off*

Poly life

It's been about 13-14 weeks since I have started studying in poly. All I can say is, wow, time REALLY FLIES. My mid semester test has ended about 2 weeks ago, and I am still waiting for my PEEE (Principals of Electrical and Electronic Engineering) paper to be returned to me. Before I stepped in to poly, I vowed to myself that I will go into poly where no one will know my past and whatever stupid mistakes I did before.

However, those mistakes keep haunting me in my sleep, they keep coming back in my memories from time to time. Those mistakes kept reminding me how stupid, childish and immature I was last time. Of course I will do whatever it takes to get rid of those stupid memories out of my mind. These memories, will resurface from time to time like a viper surfacing in and out of the ground to find it's prey.

Lately I have been having nightmares about those memories and also about thugs beating up and torturing my girl. If I remember the exact details, I was having a late night supper with my girl at some market that was almost empty (without many people). As my girl and I were eating, we were suddenly attacked by those thugs knocking me and my girl out. When I regained my senses, I found my girl being tortured and beatened up.

They chained my arms and legs so that I couldn't fight back, as I watched my girl slowly becoming lifeless, tears came out from my eyes, as my girl was beatened up and I as her boyfriend, couldn't do anything to help her. I begged them to spare my girl, in which I told them to beat me up instead. That was when I couldn't remember anything else.

I hope that dream will never ever happen to me, since I'm still looking for a girl that suits my taste. And if I do find her, I swear, I will NEVER let any thing bad happen to her, I will protect her, love her, care for her, hug her, look out for her, catch her when she falls, and lastly, never leave her side.

I'm a little tired, gotta get some sleep. Shall stop here for now.

*Signing Off*

Boring Day

After lunch, I decided to fix my old computer, and surprisingly I didn't get the results that I had expected to get. The computer lagged so much, even when I played Left 4 Dead 2 on it. SO, I decided to do a major cleanup for my desktop. I went to delete every single song and all those games that needed major patching. Then I went to surf YouTube and facebook.

The irritating thing is that YouTube keeps claiming copyrights to many shows and videos therefore I am unable to freaking watch them. It just sets me thinking, why can't they just let people upload the shows for people that missed the shows. I mean like be fair to people that also want to enjoy watching it.

Anyway today I didn't really do anything today. I switched on my laptop at around 10 in the morning, I guessed I have used it for excatly twelve hours already, BUT I think I'm gonna continue using it till about 12+ I guess?

Anyway I'm gonna play a bit of Dota (learning how to play properly).

*Signing Off*

No school

Today I woke up at around 5:50 because Shannon texted me on her way to school, and we chatted for about an hour then it was almost 7 and she had to go for morning assembly so I slept till 10 in which my mum woke me up because my mum had to change bed sheets for me, I went to my brother's room to sleep since my brother left early to go back to the army camp.

I ate breakfast, I think it wasn't really a breakfast because I ate cup noodles in the morning, which I think its not really healthy but since there was not much food in the house so I got no choice but to eat them. My mum just went out to buy lunch so I am just writing post. I was thinking what to do, many YouTube videos that I watched are staring to get removed due to copyright.

Basically my computer is starting to give me lesser and lesser entertainment. I think a day will come when I will really fall asleep right in front of the computer. Well who knows?

At least something good happened to me this week, my circuit design finally worked on MultiSim (a program that creates circuits by just placing electronic components and connecting them). Thanks to the help of Jonathan (my poly classmate), my circuit was able to work and I got a big load off my mind. Now I'm just left with the stupid interview and completing the report of the entire assignment.

I think later will be a good time to train my chain punching in Wing Chun, I will need to master that technique in order to protect my girl. I wanna learn how to fight multiple enemies at one go, and also finishing an enemy off without the enemy able to hit me. I guess that will be my resolution for year 1 in poly.

Its just after lunch, I think I'm gonna find something to do and maybe sleep again?

*Signing Off*

Day 4 after MST week

Today after lunch I was expectionally pissed off with someone, I shall not disclose the reason why, but its something to do with what that person said to me. Anyway I went home after school then I just sat down in front of my com and just started playing it, I played till about 7 then I went to have my dinner, then I went to bath then I played Zero Hour with Janson and Axel, and both matches didn't end well because both matches had sudden disconnections so it ended up as two incomplete matches.

Then I went to play Yuri's Revenge, and of course my laptop decided to lag ALOT when I wanted to play something fun. SO, I changed games to Dota, AND, I got trashed by an easy enemy because I don't know what skills to buy and also which NPC sells them, so the AI got till beyond godlike (basically making him impossible to kill). Now I am just awlfully pissed to the max. Nothing to fun to play, or too difficult to play, plus I got a bad day at the back of my head. F*** My Life.

I don't wanna write anymore, one more single word and I'll punch my hand through the computer screen.

*Signing Off*

After school (as in what happened after school, not the group After School)

After school, I reached back home, I was like dead tired because I was very hungry. I ate some instant noodles, then I got sleepy so I lied on my bed for awhile, then I went to messaged Shannon, and she went to M'sia to shop so I couldn't sms her or I will have to pay stupid extra charges if I send an overseas text.

After dinner, my brother came back from the army camp, and we had dinner, i think i ate about two portions of dinner cause I was very hungry. Then I weent to play computer games, then Shannon texted me back so we chated. On MSN, Chew Bok went to tell me what happened to him in his class today. Apparently it was his tutorial lesson, then he opened his itunes and his e-learning website to check out his project.

Unfortunately the lecturer walked past and saw him doing other stuff that was not related to that tutorial subject, so in the end he was chased out the classroom. Poor him. I played computer till about 12+ then went to sleep.

Anyway that was what basically happened that day (felt sleepy throughout the day though).

*Signing Off*

Day 1 of term 2

As usual I woke up at 7 to get my ass to school and of course, I snoozed my alarm for every ten minutes in order to get enough sleep so that I won't fall asleep when I am in school. When I reached school, I just sat down thinking about my Digital Electronics assignment that is due in a weeks time. Then subsequently, my friends came one by one and of course catched up with one another :)

When the lecturer came, I knew I was going to get back my MST (Mid Semester Test) results. Therefore the lecturer started calling our names one by one to collect our test paper, at the same time, the lecturer mentioned our marks as we were going out to collect our test paper. When my name was called, I was obviously nervous because when I did the paper, I was unsure on many things.

Suprisingly, I managed to get 79 out of 100, in which I think its a B+, therefore my GPA for that test is 3.5, in which I managed to achieve my target (I targeted a GPA of at least 3.4 for that test). I got this classmate Haziq, he was late for class (apparently he was late for class because he overslept), and he got the highest marks in our class (1 mark below the maximum marks of 100, in other words, he scored a score of ninety-nine out of a hundred)

Well, at least I was happy I did managed to achieve my target, all my frustrations and studying paid off I guess(?)

Currently its after lunch so I've got about 20 mins till my AutoCad lesson, and Jmeen noona is sitting right beside me right now <------- (I had to post this because Jmeen noona demanded that I post that I am sitting beside her, I don't know whats with her, but I guess I will just do as I am told to)

Well, now my AutoCad lesson is about to commence, I guess I will need to stop here right now. :)

*Signing Off*

Day 1 after MST

Today was the first day after my MST (Mid Semester Tests) ended, and I ended up nothing to do. Ryan asked me to go to school as planned so that I can teach him some basic maths for his test later that day. When he texted me, I woke up and had breakfast and switched on my laptop for a moment and that moment it HAD to rain when I was about to go to school to meet Ryan.

I left the house in a bad mood (and yes, the weather sometimes affects my mood) and the rain got worse (of course). I wanted to walk to school BUT obviously the rain HAD to become worse, so I took a bus to school instead. At the bus stop near my house, I saw Zheng Cong (my secondary four classmate), I waved to him but for the first two seconds he didn't recognised me (I guessed it was my long hair that was the reason I suppose).

In the bus we catched up a little as it was about 4 months since we last seen each other. At school, I had to divert my route here and there (because of the rain), and it took me about 16.5 minutes to reach the library (zzz). I reached the library, (I started sneezing because I had a cold when I woke up in the morning). We played games till about 1pm, then I taught him logarithms and the 3 laws, then we went for lunch at FC4 (Foodcourt 4 KouFu), and had my sliced fish bee hoon with tom yam soup (which I was craving for all week).

We chatted and ate at the same time till about quarter past 3, Ryan had to go for his exam so I headed home and went to on my laptop to play. A while later Ryan suddenly called my on my phone, he told me that his exam was actually at 1.30, in other words, he missed his exam timing. Well, I guess the only person he can count on is God in which whether God will help him in getting a retest.

Today was kinda boring especially during the evening, cause I suddenly felt so sick and tired of my computer games, so I decided to play Red Alert 2 (I practically finished the entire allied campaign which consists of 12 missions + training missions). Then I went to surf facebook, watch youtube, posted a status on facebook, then I played Zero Hour because Axel and Janson were also about to play so I just joined in.

Not really sastifying for me because I didn't get the results that I wanted, so maybe I just gotta try harder I guess?

Going to sleep soon, I'm quite tired.

*Signing Off*

Pissed Off

I made this post because I was extremely pissed off to the max. Don't ask why, I myself also don't know the reason. I just suddenly felt so useless and unhappy, maybe today's nap after I reached home. I dreamed that my girl was getting beaten up by thugs and those thugs chained my arms and legs, making me unable to move. As I watched my girl getting beaten up by those thugs, I felt helpless. IF I myself can't even protect my own girl, how am I even considered a real man, a man that is really to love, protect and support his girl and his family?

When I woke up, I was so angry with myself, I just scolded myself on how incompetent and useless I was. I was on the verge of crying but I held back my tears, as I cannot cry, if I cry, then I am useless guy. Therefore when I am about to cry, I will tell myself not to cry so that people won't see how weak my heart really is.

Going to sleep now, I am rather tired.

*Signing Off*

Rashes (cont'd) + MST

Rashes got irritatingly worse, scratching myself all over, super irritating, and i can't study with those rashes on. I ate my medicine just after lunch, and I felt a little better. I fear that during my exam, my rashes will break out and I will not be able to concentrate will during my exam.

Today was the first paper for my Mid Semester Test (MST). When I first looked at the paper, it wasn't too bad, but I sighed and said,"FML" to myself when I saw section B. I couldn't do much in terms of finding errors.

Really got nothing else to share about today, cause today nothing significant happened to me.

Shall stop here :)

*Signing Off*