Laptop freaked out

So what happened recently was that my laptop decided to freak out, the wireless driver software decided to play hide and seek with me, disappearing and reappearing, causing my wireless adapter to malfunction intermittently. I tired reinstalling the driver software a few times, but it always failed to work the moment I rebooted my com.

So I made a choice, which was to carry out the reformat process to my com. After school, I headed home and went to back up all my data to an external hard disk. I proceeded with the reformat which took about 30 minutes. After reformatting I quickly downloaded all the essential software, some games, and transferred my documents over.

The wireless driver still had problems, and my laptop overheated twice on the same day. So I made up my mind to send my laptop for the hardware repair. 

Day 1 of no computer.

Came back home after sending my laptop for repair. Had lunch, and slept for 3 hours from 3pm to 6pm, had dinner, watched Seananners's videos, blasted music and laid at my bed till I fell asleep. 

Day 2 of no computer.

Tried to wake up as late as possible, close to lunch time, had some noodles and a cup of hot drink for breakfast, slacked around, read e-books with my phone. Had fish porridge for lunch, laid in bed for 4 hours, then went out for dinner. Had some steamboat and KFC after that. Starting to feel really bored without my com, I think I have to endure it for another week or so. No idea how I can endure that long, but I will try my best to carry on with life.

Company attachment (Industry Training Program)

It's been about 2 weeks since I started my Industry Training Program, and I could say that it's a pretty good experience for me. Firstly it's because this is my first time being attached to a company outside and also I am looking forward to doing the jobs/tasks that are assigned to me.

I was posted to this company at Funan Digitalife Mall, called 'Laptop General Hospital'. For the first week I was asked to sort out laptop parts for stock taking. The first day that I arrived, the stock taking was about 90 - 95% completed, so we only took about 2-3 hours to finish the rest. It was pretty tedious because some parts were very minute and fragile especially when it comes to parts like RAM, or laptop hinges. Nevertheless, we completed it after much frustration and difficulty. I made friends with 3 other interns that were attached to the same company as I was. I can say that they are a bunch of cool people, we talk and joke around during lunch time and also during work times when we bump into each other. Since 2 of the interns are working under the admin section, they get to leave at 6:30 pm. I am working under the customer service section (front desk reception), so my working hours are longer than the admins (around 10 hours of work including 1 hour of lunch and break time).

Nevertheless after working for 1 week and 4 days, I actually do enjoy myself because being at the front desk, I get to see people from all walks of life, and also their different personalities. There was this kind customer with his friend that came to book in their laptop as it was experiencing some charging and power adapter issues. After serving them, his friend said to me," Justin, your service is really very good! Your boss should really promote you! It's really difficult to see this kind of service nowadays" After hearing this, I felt really good and also a little embarrassed. It is because this is the first time a customer ever praised me for good service. However I am still a Polytechnic student on company attachment, therefore there won't be any promotion for me. I replied to him telling him that I am still a Polytechnic student and promotions won't be needed for me. But to my astonishment, he told me it's okay and told me that I still deserved a promotion.

I couldn't stop smiling after hearing it, it also means that I should keep up with that standard of customer service.

There was another similar customer, he came with his family. The 2 kids were a little playful and kept roaming around the workplace. He joked around about using Medisave (Medisave is a scheme in Singapore that is applicable to hospital patients), because my workplace's name is called Laptop General Hospital. He was an awesome man because he put faith into us, and even though the time taken for repair and diagnostics for his laptop will take around 5-7 working days.

*will update the rest at home, did this post at work!*

Vacations!

Okay back here once more, and guess what? It's vacation! 3 weeks of well deserved rest I think? :)

Anyway I would most likely spend the entire holidays just playing com and more com, since I doubt anyway will ask me out to relax or something. Have been playing lots of minecraft, dota 2 and not forgetting, maple. I seem to be making pretty good progress in maple, increasing my damage range with my very limited funds.

In minecraft, I have been designing different mob grinders, and comparing the output I get, from there I will choose the one with the best output, and start implementing them with the rest of my worlds.

As for my love life, it has changed, for the worst. At first I thought I really stood a chance, but looking at her, I don't think she will even have the same amount of feelings I have for her. What do I plan to do? Just let her slowly forget me, maybe I can go looking for a new one? I don't know. For me, I usually will like a girl if she likes me back. Because I have been hurt countless times, so I will definitely appreciate that certain someone if she appreciates me in the first place. I think my computer is my best friend now, a place to vent my frustrations, get entertained, and also enjoy nice music.

Anyway I went to dad's company for an open house today with my mum, saw many of dads colleagues, and also how his company has changed over the years.
I got to eat delicious food and not forgetting, McDonalds! :) Saw this cute girl at the popcorn counter during the open house, she looked kinda cute and friendly. Oh well, hope she does well in her future endeavors.

Anyway shall stop here, 2:47 am, my eyes are closing soon. Nights :)

Signing Off.

Feeling down

I feel so absolutely down today. Couldn't concentrate in class, felt so miserable. Basically I think I'm like a nobody, I'm a failure at every single thing I do, I get ignored, I get friend zoned by girls, I'm not physically fit, I'm as weak as a kitten, I'm always falling sick, I get mocked by other players online. I just wanna lie down on my bed, and just hide away from this cruel world.

Since I'm so insignificant, if I disappear, no one will know right? Yeah, maybe I should just run away from everything, like a coward I always am.

Sick

Back here after so long, about more than 3 weeks. Loads of things happened recently, school's started and currently heading into the midst of the 3rd week in school. I fell sick about 3 times in one month, and guess what? They are all related. It all started when I came back from Hokkaido. The trip to Hokkaido was unforgettable, I almost teared up when I reviewed the photos, I miss that place alot *teary*, and yes although my family brought back home stuff, I still miss that place, and I SWEAR, I will go back there somewhere in the future. 

Anyway, after about a week when I came back from vacation, my dad got stomach flu, and 2 days later, my mum and I both got the virus. So I suffered pretty badly, I puked and got diarrhoea, my appetite destroyed, and had a few sleepless nights. So yeah, managed to recover from it, BUT weeks later disaster struck again. After a delicious meal at Irodori Japanese Restaurant, I had a bad stomach upset that night. My stomach felt like its on fire, then there was alot of gas inside, for the whole 3 hours, I was roaming around the house, keeping myself occupied and trying to expel as much gas as I could. Ate medicine the next morning, felt so much better. Last Monday, I almost "died" in class, had a terrible stomach upset, felt like puking so badly, stomach felt warm and churning upside down. Consulted a doctor, doc gave me probiotics and a few other medications. However for the whole week, the medications only helped a little. Therefore I just consulted the doctor again, doctor reassured me about my condition, saying that I will be better within a few days.

So yeah, I am just writing this post, just hoping my stomach doesn't cause me problems again.

Signing off.

Turned 18!

Finally turned 18 years old after so so so long :) I'm an adult now so I can do many things that I want to. The best part, I can now get my driving license. :) School's starting in a few hour's time, so I guess I have to get some proper sleep before I head on for another boring semester of lessons and lectures.

Signing off.

End of holidays, mixed emotions

Well, it's nearly the end of my holidays. And it's also gonna be my birthday very soon. 3 more days to be exact.

Well what did I do during the holidays? The most memorable one, was the trip to Japan. It's been about 3 weeks since I came back to Singapore, and I'm missing Japan really really badly. I wish I could go back there, but its too expensive. Well, I will really miss that place. The people, the food, the services, and most importantly, the accommodation. The accommodation was really good, even though we changed hotels almost every day (except for the 2nd last and last day)
Compared to Singapore, Japan really has 5 stars when it comes to services and accommodation.

Now for my love life. No changes. That's right, no changes. I lost even more hope compared to before. People that I talk to, stopped talking to me, like permanently. I feel like some retard whenever I text/call/tweet/whatsapp someone, and he/she doesn't reply. So I gave up, I might as well don't call or text since people don't bother replying to me. I guess I'm too insignificant to them.

People ask me why don't I chase girls?Well firstly I don't have the looks, nor the physical build that girls want. I also don't have the intelligence either. What's the use if I have a heart? Most girls go for guys with good looks and good personality. In the end, every single girl will avoid me like plague.
The good part of that is that I can stay positive, knowing that I will be alone forever, and also knowing that I'm not good enough for any girl.

Sometimes I think about the happy things couples do together. Some examples like heading out together for vacation, for movies, for nice meals and musicals, sitting under the night sky and looking at beautiful stars. Some of them I really yearn for, for a long long time.

I have very little friends, the amount of best friends (friends whom I can really trust), I can count them by using my own fingers. I was never popular and I will never be.

I suck at almost everything that I do. Be it studying, I can never be as good as those top students in which I yearn for the same results as them. I can never be good at sports, I get tired really easily, I suck at maintaining my stamina. I get owned in games, be it CABAL online or dota 2 or Command and Conquer.

Maybe I should just stay at home everyday, and just play Minecraft, and keep playing till I just collapse and die at home for good, and no one will know about my death, since I'm so insignificant.

Signing off.

Jung Nicole - LOST

Alright so as promised I will share about the music video that I was talking about the previous post. Overall this music video I give an 8.9 out of 10. Well, nothing is perfect right? This music video is very meaningful to me because it basically portrayed the kind of life that I really yearn. A happy couple, enjoying things together like cooking, watching TV, and also stuff like leaning the head on the lap of the other person.

After watching that music video for the first time, it really drove me to tears. The music and video, just matched perfectly and I was just touched and mesmerised by it. I was jealous, because I always wondered why can't I be happy just like them? Instead, all I get is people ignoring me when I want to talk to someone about my problems. Whenever I see couples happily walking hand in hand, it just lights up the fire of jealousy more and more.

Anyway it's pointless trying to describe the entire bunch of emotions inside me, I shall post some pictures of the music video instead. (Terribly sorry as it was poorly edited, I just simply screen shot the video that's all)

Both of them look really sweet ain't they? I guess that will never happen to me.
Signing off.

School holidays

Okay erm so I've not been updating this blog for quite some time due to my school assignments, exams and stuff. But yeah it's all finally over, it's the school holidays and I'm now getting some rest.

Anyway I wanted to share about what the things I want to do with my future girlfriend. I suddenly just wanted to create this blog post because of a teaser video that I saw this morning when I woke up. It's a song by my favourite Korean girl group currently, KARA. That teaser is one of the yet-to-be released Japanese songs, if I'm not wrong, it's called LOST. It features Jung Jinwoon from the talented group, 2AM. In that teaser, both of them were very sweet lovers and did many things together as a couple. I was jealous of course.

There are many many things I want to do with my future girlfriend, I made a list:
1: Have a nice steamboat meal with her
2: Hold her tight when she's sad
3: Make her laugh with my silly and lame jokes
4: Take selcas together
5: Watching her go to sleep while her head is lying on my lap
6: Have a small picnic
7: Give her back hugs

The list can just go on and on, but oh well. I guess with my current life, I think that any single girl will think that I'm just another boring and average sucker.

Back here (again)

Okay it's been more than a month since I've last posted something. I've been more active on twitter and Facebook. Today is the last day of my school holidays :\ and that time really flew by like as if a lightning just struck and disappeared. I think I shall share about what I did during the holidays.

The first week was like a much awaited freedom. The exams just ended and that most of us were just glad to have a good night's sleep after a long while. As for me, I went back home, had a very long chat over Skype, and basically gamed till very late while chatting. The daily routine's were almost the same: Wake up, breakfast, computer, chat, lunch, game, nap, exercise, Facebook/twitter, exercise, dinner, game, sleep. That was all I did during the first week, maybe I didn't include the days when I had to go back to school for Wing Chun training?

The second week I went out a few times, one was a gathering at Chew Bok's Aunt's stall. Janson had tuition that day, so he went by himself. Bok had something else to take care of, so he also went by himself. As for me, I went to Axel's house first. I showed him 3-4 episodes of WoDotA, and of course we laughed alot at other people's poor control of their character (a bit sadist, but who cares? :P) I played abit of L4D2, and 1 game of dota. Bok texted me around 5+ to go there, so me and Axel left house and look an ultra long bus ride and alighted opposite or Roxy Square. In fact, Janson reached way earlier than us, so he was playing his DS, about 20 minutes later, Bok reached and we all ordered loads of delicious food :) I ate beef fried rice with extra beef (was the ultimate) We chatted alot while playing a card game, in which it involves ancient Chinese generals. We left about 10pm, and we chatted alot on the bus, pouring out stuff that has happened to us recently, and also how sucky our lives have been.

I also went for my CCA camp, really fun, got to know many people, and also opened my eyes to people's true characters and personality. I learned that an ugly character destroys a beautiful face, and also never to judge a person without knowing him/her better. It was during an incident in the camp that I got pissed with a girl, but I share leave that for another post. My class chalet was directly after the camp. I reached the chalet around 8+, my body was totally lethargic, the camp drained all my energy. So I went to sleep for a short while, then I went to eat some satay, stingrays, some beef and squids. Tried some Vodka because my friend offered me some, stomach didn't feel well after that so I decided to go home. Apparently there were some funny stuff that happened during the chalet itself, but again, will share this on another post.

There were many things that happened on the third week of the holiday, but it's too long to be placed into words on this post (maybe because I'm too lazy?)

It's 12:36am now, I shall try and get some sleep right now, first day of the new school term always sucks (trust me :D) Will end this long(?) post now, if you want to follow me on twitter, just leave a message in the chatbox! :)

Signing off :)

An awesome dream + Namra's 18th Birthday :)

As for the dream part, I remembered 2 different dreams, the first one involves an idol, the second one was pretty brief.

For the first dream, I recalled myself sitting at some concert hall, in which people where entering from all entrances. There were 2 empty seats to my left and 1 to my right. The concert started with magnificent performances. Moments later, someone came and sat on the seat to my left. When I turned my head, it was Uee from the group After School. She introduced herself, and I did the same too. After the concert ended, we both were told to go and stay somewhere.

Then I realized it was my friend's house. The house was a magnificent mansion, with the first level as a viewing room for the nearby seaside scenery. His entire family came and greeted us, and everyone thought that Uee and I were a couple (LOL).

After dinner, Uee and I toured around the house, at the same time, we got to know more about each other. She shared with me her sad moments in her life, and also about her own family. Later that night, my friend's family gathered and shared with us a legend about a scary beast called the spiritbreaker. The beast's roars could be heard from afar, and that anyone could be the target. When everyone was asleep, I went downstairs to the first floor to grab some night snacks, I saw Uee looking out to the window. I went to have a small chat with her, also sharing some of my snacks too.

That very moment, a loud fearsome roar was heard in the distance. The roar shook the ground beneath us, and at the same time, striking fear into both of our hearts. Seconds after the roar was heard, we heard another scream, a scream that was cut short.

Uee was scared, so we both went upstairs to investigate. What we saw horrified us, it was the dead bodies of my friend and his family members. At that moment, we knew we were in trouble, deep deep trouble. Immediately, I held her hand, and made a mad dash for the exit. Towards the exit, we heard the terrifying roar again. Uee started crying, while we were trying to run as fast as we could towards the beach. The spiritbreaker charged right straight at us but stopped when it saw that we were near the sea, within seconds, it retreated and we saw it charging away from us.

Due to the fright and exhaustion, she fainted into my arms. So I just sat down on the beach, and Uee was leaning on my right shoulder. When she woke up, she weakly said 'thank you' in korean, and kissed me on the cheek.

That very moment I awoke in another dream, I recalled hearing gun fire and sounds of bombing. I recalled holding a rifle, fighting alongside with my comrades. I awakened back into my first dream within seconds (kinda sounds a bit like inception LOL). By that time Uee was already awake. I chatted with her for a little longer, that was when I woke back up into reality. Oh well I actually wished dreams like that will never end, and that I will never wake up from those dreams. 유이누나, 사랑해요!!! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Anyway yesterday was the eve of Namra's 18th birthday. We all went to Clementi Mall to have lunch, then we headed to Bugis to catch a movie, but unfortunately the tickets were too expensive, so we tried going to Iluma instead, however, the prices were the same since it was an eve of a public holiday. The others bought Koi to drink, while I chatted with Leon while the rest were drinking. We headed to Bugis Street level 2 after that, my back was aching from all the walking, so was Leon's. We decided to go home since there was nothing more to do. On the train, we chatted alot more. Namra had to change lines so she had to alight earlier. I gave her a birthday hug, then Leon, TK, Jonathan and I started talking about DOTA 2 after she alighted :D

Reached back home half dead due to my aching back, but felt really happy that day :) I really do hope I can go out and celebrate birthdays with my friends more often, in which I won't feel so bored at home :)

Got school tomorrow, gotta stop here!
Nights! :)

Back to school

Alright, I'm finally back here after a decade (LOL), I think I last posted since, I forgot, 2 months+?
To start things off, I'm in towards the end of the 3 week in my 2nd academic year in Poly, and I think I am actually getting the hang of stuff pretty quickly. Especially the fact that I am starting to listen more during lectures, and actually finishing my tutorial questions before the tutorial class. The downside about my new academic year? THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN MY CLASS. YES, LITERALLY ZERO GIRLS, from 4 to 2 to ZERO. Oh well, at least I still have all my friends around me. I met up with Tong Shen after the first day of school. It was the start of year 1 for him, and year 2 for me. The funny thing was that we are both born in the same year (1994) , but the fact that I am 1 academic year ahead of him seems a little weird. Nevertheless, we both met up over a meal and chatted for over an hour.

My classmate recently gave me an awesome game, a game in which I have waited months for it. Defense of The Ancients 2, a game with awesome graphics. However as much as I wanted that game, I sort of regretted getting it, because of not playing for months before, I got owned, literally. So I changed my games from time to time, like playing CABAL online, or minecraft as alternatives to playing DOTA.

Last week was the CCA showcase in which every CCA in the school will display their CCA in booths to attract year 1's to join their CCA. I went to help out with the booth management for all 3 days, and I didn't regret helping out. I could say it was a totally new experience for me. I had never done stuff like giving out flyers, or advertising my CCA to other people I didn't know. I had bad experiences in the past but this time round, this CCA showcase has completely changed my mindset about doing these kind of stuffs. In fact if there was another showcase like this in the future, I would volunteer myself without and hesitation. Another good thing is that, there were actually more girls that signed up compared to last year. At the beginning, there were about 8-9 of them, in which they disappeared after a year. So seeing more of them sign up is good because my CCA (Wing Chun), is actually a female martial art, in which is designed for females to protect themselves. Ironically all of the current members are males.

As for my lessons now, the lecture styles are very different compared to last year. We used to attend lectures with 2 classes combined, and 1 lecturer teaching us. Now the lectures are conducted in a large lecture hall, with about 4-5 classes combined into 1. However, I don't like the fact in which people make noise in the lecture hall. I find it quite irritating when I am trying to listen. Oh well, I can't change anything because I am not the module director nor the principal. However during one of the lectures, my classmate Leon, started saying some things in which I totally cracked up after hearing them. The lecturer said this: "whatever sound you make or say, will come out though the output as sound if there is an output such as a speaker attached to it" After the lecturer said that, Leon went," You don't say?" I totally cracked up after he said that sentence.

Just yesterday, I finish watching this really awesome drama, in which I really think there should be a sequel to it. It's a Korean drama called My GirlFriend is a nine-tailed Fox. The last episode was really touching, I almost cried when it ended. But in the end, I didn't cry but there tears in my eyes. It was a small reversal in the end, but it was touching enough to bring tears into my eyes. Here's the link for more info about this drama :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Girlfriend_Is_a_Nine-Tailed_Fox

Back at Fairfield Secondary

I called Shen on the way to the secondary school, since I couldn't just enter the school just like that, and of course the guard will catch me with my long hair. I met Shen at the front gate, and we entered. Apparently there was photo taking today, so there were many students near the driveway towards the exit of the front gate.

When I walked in, many students started staring at me, I guess its be because of my long hair(?). Me and Shen went to the CCA block and I met up with my juniors whom I took them for more than a year. Of course they still remembered me, except they took some time to recognize me since I had my hair "altered" to 3 times longer since secondary school. There was a muster parade that day. Shen became a cadet lieutenant around the end of last year, and he told me alot of stories about the many incidents in the unit and also among the teachers too. When I heard them, I was shocked because some of the problems were caused by the teachers themselves.

Anyway I helped out the Secondary 3 platoon, since they were the ones that were going to lead the unit very soon. Soon it was the parade itself, and guess what? The teachers even changed the basic structure of the parade, there was no standard in the marching, and there was no march past at all. I was completely at a loss for words. The teachers completely omitted the basic structure which was stated clearly by the HQ that it was not supposed to be changed or omitted in anyway. Oh well, I can't do anything since I am only a senior with no more rank, unless I got for the cadet officer course.

After the parade, I thought Ji Hao and Adli some of my PDS skills (didn't go rusty since it is still my passion even after I graduated). I left for home soon after. I felt really happy since I was openly welcomed back by the unit even after 1 year of not helping out after graduating. But however I am not really happy with the changes made to the unit, and that the teachers also expects us to update them, but they themselves do not update us in the first place. Oh well, I hope that things will improve, and that I definitely do hope to see some changes the next time I come back to Fairfield NCC.

Liking someone

Liking someone is really tough. For me I have many experiences to share. When I like and confess to that girl, firstly the awkwardness when you confess, next is the moment she rejects you. The worse moments are the part after the entire event is over. For me I really dreaded the time when I was in Sec 2. Especially the time after I confessed to her. Shall not mention the name because of respect reasons.

The day after I confessed to her, I tried texting her, and saying that I was sorry. She didn't reply me. At school I tried finding her but she sort of avoided me the moment she saw me. And the worst part was that her friends knew that I liked her. So I had to avoid her instead, because I knew what kind of embarrassment I will cause her if she ever sees me. Up till now, I think I haven't seen her for about 3 years, hopes she's doing fine.

Moving on with my life, now I myself ain't sure who to go for, as confused as before. Anyway I've got a talk tomorrow , have to sleep early. Nights :\

NUS open house

Today was the first day of the NUS open house. I was awakened by my mum telling me to get ready to go out to NUS. Honestly speaking, I felt really irritated because I just don't like getting awaken just to go somewhere the first thing in the morning. Oh well, anyway I ate my breakfast feeling pissed, and also tired because I didn't sleep well. I slept at around 3+, then I woke up at 4:10 because I had a bad stomachache.

So obviously I had to make a trip to the toilet. After that I quickly washed up and went to sleep. Anyway we reached the entrance of the NUS campus at around 11+. I was amazed the first thing I stepped into the campus.

I was seriously shocked at the number of girls that visited and also studying at NUS itself. Some of them were very beautiful, like really beautiful. Others had good figures, while some of them had both :D That somehow lightened my mood a little. We went into the exhibition hall where information for each course was available, and headed towards the Engineering sector. My parents wanted to find out more about the enrollment in the Bioengineering course. For me, I went to the Electrical and Computer Engineering course booth. I went to ask a lecturer some questions regarding the course requirements, curriculum timing and the styles of the lectures. I saw my friend there, surprisingly he was there with his brother too. His brother had just graduated from the Army, so it's a good time for him to look for a good course in Uni.

Was totally amazed at the girls there, wanted to ask for some of their contact numbers, but in the end I decided against it. Really couldn't forget my time there, and I didn't regret going there too.

Meet up

Today I met up with John and Kai, just to buy some ingredients for a BBQ session later that day. Me and John waited for Kai just outside Dempsey Road. While waiting, I saw a car suddenly went out of control, then the tire flew out from the back wheel, and the car was in a diagonal position in the middle of the road.

Anyway after meeting Kai, the three of us headed to Huber's Butchery and purchased some beef, pork and sausages. Kai paid for them since he was the main organizer. After we bought the meat, we wanted to take a cab back to his house. Kai then called for a taxi by calling the hotline for taxi booking, and all of us anticipated for the taxi's arrival. However we waited for more than 20 minutes, the taxi failed arrive. So we decided to walk to the main road and tried flagging for another cab. As expected, within seconds we managed to get a cab, and we headed to his house.

Around 4+, DH and Chris arrived at his house, and they both headed to the Gym. KL and JP arrived together soon after. I was pretty shocked when I first saw JP after more than a year. She has changed into a beautiful woman, I think she has became more womanly and graceful, therefore she caught my attention within seconds of seeing her. SM came just before KL and JP arrived. She's in JJC now, and she seems more healthier than before (she's always seems to have a cold or a bad flu whenever I saw her last time). Me and John went to start up the fire, JM, Tim, ZC and DC came together around 7. ZC and JM looked more beautiful now, maybe going to different schools changed them physically? That I'm not sure myself either. Anyway Che and NT came the latest, and that time the food was almost done so all of us started eating. Che looked more prettier than last time, especially when she lets her hair down. We ate the food, and chatted and laughed. Kai brought out the Liquor, KL and DC started drinking, soon after Chris, DH, ZC and RC joined in.

Some of us went up to his bedroom, and started chatting with the lights off-ed. I chatted with Chris and DH, and later with Tim, JP and DC. I walked out with DH around 1130, we chatted about our problems happening in our lives now, while waiting for the bus. DH missed his bus so I was able to chat with him abit more, before I boarded my bus and heading home.

Actually I wished I was more close with them, because I just seem to have this awkward feeling around some of them. Oh well, at least I managed to talk to JP abit more than last time, when I was like completely awkward around her. Same for DC, I did talk to her abit more compared to last time.

In all, today I was rather happy with the gathering, and I hope to meet them up more often in the future for such gatherings.

Sucky day

Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, my friend yesterday trolled me to the max, literally to the max. It all started in the morning when I was still sleeping. He texted me to ask me whether I was free to go out to play LAN with him at Clementi mall. I wasn't pissed when I woke up to the text message, in fact I was a little happy since I haven't met up with him for almost half a year. After I washed up and had breakfast, I called him to tell him to meet me at Long John Silvers.

I reached there about 2pm, went to have a small lunch. Then my friend called me to tell me to go to Plaza Singapura instead since his friend wanted to play LAN there. But since I didn't want to travel there (waste money), so I just told him that I was going back home and that I will play from home. Feeling down, I went to take a bus home. I boarded bus 196, when it stopped at New Town Secondary School, a group of female students boarded, I thought 2 of them looked beautiful to me. However, looks are definitely deceving, they started talking and laughing loudly, causing some of the commuters to look at them. When I had to alight, I pressed the bell once, but those girls started laughing loudly and even wanted to piss the bus driver off. So they started pressing the bell repeatedly, for about 7-8 times. I could tell the bus driver was pissed, since he started accelerating and decelerating the bus, causing them to lose their balance.

Those girls alighted the same stop as I did, and they started laughing about the bus driver's pissed look, shame on them seriously. When I reached back home, I went to shower, and just laid on my bed. Then my friend called again, saying that his friend had given him loads of problems so he decided not to play with him and wanted to meet me back at Clementi. However I was already at home so he asked me if I could go out again. Seriously? Who does he take me for? A fool? A retard? Someone which he thinks he can troll?

Anyway I felt sad the entire day, so I just went to rewatch coffee house again, just to cheer myself up. Mum came back home with Nasi Lemak for dinner, then she made a cup of coffee for me, really appreciated it. Went to watch episode 8 of Dream High 2, then went to rewatch We Got Married Leeteuk And Kang Sora episode 10 and 13. Chatted with my friend for awhile before going to sleep. Oh well it pretty sucked for me on that day, really hope things can improve soon.

Shall stop here for now, my mind is completely dry.

Seriously

I have been super frustrated the moment I came home from the airport. I was kind of grouchy and pissed at the same time, and it's one of the worst combos to have when you are playing DOTA. So basically I cursed and cursed repeatedly, to the point I just felt like quitting DOTA for good.

For the past 2 days I lost every single match that I played. In addition, it was the just after the exam period, so my gaming standard expectations was very high, but I just failed to meet those standards.

My feelings and mood wasn't really that good these few days. People around me don't actually know how I even feel right now. Sometimes I feel extremely angry and frustrated, and I have to vent it on something. I can't possibly vent in on my family or friends. Therefore, the only thing I can vent my frustration on is by gaming. But because of my standards rising from time to time, if I don't meet those standards, my frustration builds up more and more instead of releasing it. Sometimes I feel that I suck in everything because I just don't meet those basic expectations of mine. I shared this matter with my mum, asking her for her opinion whether what I'm doing is it good for me? Or is it just leading me to a path of destruction?

There's another matter that has been bothering and frustrating me since a very long time ago. Women, are like Queen in chess, in which protects the King, and that women can help clear a man's messed up life. My life, is really in a bloody mess right now, to the point I can just literally go crazy. I really want a girl, a girl that can understand how I feel, listen to my feelings and emotions. People around me are finding their other halves already, just like me. I'm really jealous sometimes, and I always ask myself this question from time to time, Why is it just not me? Why?

The word why appears very often in my head, as if it's bugging me to answer that question in my head. However, the answer will not be found that easily. So I guess I'm back to the same point in my messed up life, unable to advance, and most likely fall back down into that pit of destruction.

Exams over

My last paper ended minutes ago. How relieved I felt, when I handed up my paper and walked out of the exam hall. But of course, the feeling of uncertainty stil lurks somewhere inside my head. O well, I guess it's all over, and it's time to enjoy myself now :) right now I'm heading to the airport to join my friend. He's going to HK soon, so since my last paper was today, I decided to see him off at the airport, then head home.

Maybe I can join my friends on a game of DOTA today? I guess so. Anyway I'm in the train right now, so I shall stop blogging now since it's a little inconvenient to do so right now in the midst of many people.

:)

Last second of the final hour

With only a few hours left to the final exam paper, I just couldn't relax enough, I did the test papers with much uncertainty and with very little confidence. I just have to hope for the best, and make sure I don't have any information leakage from my brain tomorrow (lol)

Today I woke up, watched happy together 3 on my phone, tried doing tutorial again, but I got distracted by my friend who was chatting with me on skype. Ate lunch while watching We Got Married, I really missed watching the old couples like Seohyun <3 YongHwa and Victoria <3 Nichkhun. Sadly, the couples whom I follow their episodes, are coming to an end now. Super Junior's Leeteuk and Actress Kang Sora, and T-ara's Eunjung and actor Lee JangWoo, are all ending soon. To be honest, I actually wished that they really got married in real life. Oh well, back to reality. They did many memorable things together, and also shared the kisses in which was very time stopping when you watch them.

Anyway, with only 8 hours to my exam, I guess I will just sleep throughout the night, and head to school about 7am to do some brain refreshment formula readings.

Alright, shall stop here to get some sleep. Will blog again tomorrow :) Nights! :)