3rd of December

Some stupid noise somewhere in the neighborhood kept me awake almost all night, leaving me less than 2 hours of proper uninterrupted sleep. I think I probably fell asleep because my body is just too tired, probably the point where it simply just shut off by itself.

Woke up and headed to camp anyway, and buses took a long time to reach the bus stop which I was at. So I waited like a complete idiot for almost 30 minutes for 1 bus to come, and the morning traffic didn't help much either, probably one of my most unlucky mornings by far. With the new upcoming downtown line, hopefully I won't come across these unlucky mornings ever again.

My stiff neck still is a huge problem because it is not completely healed yet, in fact I felt the same as yesterday, the restricted feeling and not forgetting the massive pain when ever I look upwards. Sprayed some muscle relief but it didn't help much, and I even went for gym training in the afternoon as my commander wanted to train and was looking for some gym partners at the same time. Worked my ass off for the next hour, lifting my standard training set of weights and doing them in sets. Didn't managed to do the bench press as it was packed with people queuing up for it :\

Before leaving the recreation area, we found another commander sitting down and having a plate of mee goreng. I borrowed 2.5 bucks and got myself some salty fantastic fries and ate them while walking back to the base.

My online Korean course has finally arrived, and I wasted no time in completing the first 2 lessons with a lot of motivation and a huge smile on my face. I am one step closer in achieving one of my dreams - to master another language, and in this case this is my favorite language. Looks like I will have a lot more to do when I get back home from my next overnight shift, a day of motivated learning and fun! :)

Alright time for bed, another overnight shift to conquer tomorrow:)

2nd of December

Creating this post with a ultimate stiff neck that I just got about an hour ago while running. I know right? How the hell do one even get a stiff neck while running, like if gotten one while doing other stuffs is completely understandable, but while running? WTH man.

Anyway I managed to make full use of my day today, went out with my mum in the afternoon to get some winter heat-tech cloths because in my upcoming vacation to Taiwan, I will heading up the mountains for at least 2 days and it will be super cold up there. We firstly headed to People's Park Center and looked for some jackets and gloves because mum wanted to look for other winter equipment. After that we relocated to Lucky Chinatown and went into the Uniqlo shop. Found the heat-tech cloths, but I was unsure whether to get the grey small or black medium. 

The decision was made pretty quickly as the staff told us that there was no grey small so I just got the medium black. After buying all the equipment that we needed, I got myself a McDonald's meal because I was craving for it all day, a nice big Mac meal. Ate everything down before boarding the bus and heading home.

I was supposed to do some math today but I just ended up listening to music since dinner before heading out to exercise.

Today is the 2nd day of exercise after not exercising for 4 days since the Saturday gym session, did 100 push ups, ran a fast paced 2.4 km but only managing to crank out 25 sit ups before I yelping out in pain because of my ultra stiff neck that I got while running :\

Sigh, hopefully tomorrow my neck will be better as it is a training day in camp. Alright, I will be heading to bed soon, will create another post tomorrow! :)

24th of November

So proud of myself after a long time, I managed to complete a 3.6 km run even though I was dead tired after returning home from camp. After running, I did some walk-the-plank pull ups and 100 controlled strength sit ups. 

I did some self reflection in camp this morning since I was unable to fall asleep while waiting for my shift at noon. I realised how stupid and naive I was for the past 21 years of my life, and not to forget I also regretted a lot of my actions I made in the past in which I am totally regretting it right now. Many of my friendships have been strained and tension still exists right now, but wherever they are, I just want to say that I'm terribly sorry for my actions and decisions that caused things to end up terribly. 

While running, every moment felt like hell, literally. After 1 km I totally felt like giving up after every single step I took. But what made me press on? I guess that would be the end result. I knew that if had given up, I won't get the result that I want. If other people can press on for an entire marathon, what is 3.6 km? When I completed the run, I never felt more happy and alive and I even forgotten how tired I was. 

Right now I'm chilling with some music playing through my speakers, I have made another decision which I should have made many year ago. I will not quit so easily as I used to. 

Tomorrow will be a new day, and a fresh start for me. It will be another day of training, and hopefully things will be great like today.

Justin

23th of November

Been so listless recently, some how I seemed to have lost part of myself due to some sort of unknown reason. People have been cheering me up with all the stupid shit that we have been doing in camp, things like crazy workout routines, messing around with the card system with people that we don't like.

Back at home I've been watching alot of random videos ranging from cats meowing, strength wars, to even PDS. I missed my days back in the NCC, when I was really active in the Precision Drill Squad. Hwa Chong PDS never fails to amaze me, same goes for Yishun Town PDS. Oh well, memories be memories.

Didn't even sleep well during the night shift even though I had at least 8 hours of rest break given to me. I managed to complete the last 4 hours of shift before I headed home and instantly crashed on my bed for a good 4 hours before waking up for a super late lunch. At least mum bought me a lot of rice so at least I would be full for a long time. I didn't really do anything else besides watching shows and gaming on my computer before it was time for some daily math to put some oil on my rusty brain. I managed to complete one chapter but it was a short one so I guess tomorrow will be another day of math once again :)

On a good note, I applied for this Korean course though the SAF, so I will be getting course notes and practice stuff real soon! I'm quite glad I made this decision as I was stuck in choosing further math and taking up a new language. Hopefully I will be able to complete the course and get the much coveted language cert before I ORD :)

Alright time for bed, new post tomorrow! :)

17th of November

I'm back! :)

It has been more than a week since the last post was uploaded. Have been sick last week so I haven't been able to find the time to upload a post. I didn't even have the energy to even workout, eh well technically (unless if you count 100 push ups as a form of full workout).

Did 2 overnight shifts on the last 4 days and I've got one more coming up. Good thing is that I'm going to TP day after tomorrow to get some good lunch there as my friend told me he wanted to introduce some good food to me. I've never been to TP before so I'm really looking forward to some good food there:D

I'm very glad that I caught up with an old friend whom I've known for more than 15 years. I asked her out and we had super good food :D We went to Pepper lunch express after we met up at the station and she even offered to pay for me (actually she had a card so she offered to pay for me first :\). Grilled salmon rice for her and Pepper beef set for me with a mashed potato for my sides :D We strolled around the mall and looked at books at a bookstore. She was holding this lil' Japanese toy that she really liked and wanted to get it so badly. I laughed at her since she looked so funny trying to explain to me and even showed me different Japanese wordings (Hiraganan, Katakana, and Kanji). A few books that caught my eye, were the marvel comics as I was looking for the Infinity War comics and also hopefully the main Civil War which Captain America was in.

Unfortunaly I couldn't find what I wanted, so we both headed out of the shop and went to this dessert restaurant that both caught our attention. We ordered this choco brownie and ice cream surrounded by hot chocolate, while she ordered a chocolate milkshake as an extra drink for herself. It was extremely good as I never ate such a good dessert before (:D), and it was worth the price. We both left the restaurant feeling full but satisfied, then we both headed for home and parted ways.

Right now my stomach problems returned, don't know what caused it and I don't know how long more will it last. Hopefully I do manage to eat and sleep properly if possible, it is not causing any problems or hindering my sleep, but I do feel like throwing up if I eat overly full. Doesn't really sound that pleasant to me and my stomach, but since I felt like crap so I went to eat some stomach medication a few minutes ago.

It's 11;40am, gotta report to camp at 7 am tomorrow morning for another night shift. Nights!

Justin

7th of November

Was supposed to go to the gym with people from Bravo, but I was feeling feverish the day before so I didn't go in the end. I just sort of made this day a rest day since I have been training non stop for the past 5 days. To add things up, I also had flu, I'm not sure if was from the vaccination jab or I was exposed to the dusty areas in the block :\

Still, I managed to crank out 222 push ups before the late afternoon detail, just that I was feeling a little crappy since I was supposed to be sleeping.

Recently a few things hit me pretty hard in the feels. Firstly is the fact that I got extremely jealous of this section mate. He has everything that I wanted, so I felt terrible even after a few days. Next is the relationship destroyer, called the horrible legend of the blue ticks. Yes, after many encounters with people who choose to blue tick me instead of giving me a simple reply, I am now actually expecting people to actually 'blue tick' me.

I haven't really talked to anyone on whatsapp or on skype for more than a week already. Fact is, I'm actually pretty amazed how some people can keep conversations going with people for months, while I am actually struggling to keep conversations going for more than a day. Oh well, I guess like always, I am the one that people forget or leave out all the time since they think it's okay.

On a side note, being left out has its minute perks. One of them is being able to do your favourite things without being judged, and another is that you are able to spend more time on personal achievements. Right now I'm doing 1 hour of mathematics every single day, and it is to get my head working after not touching work for 2 months. I'm also singing along to my favourite Korean songs with the lyrics that I have saved inside my computer. It's feel pretty good when you are able to sing a song that is of a different language when you don't even have proper knowledge of that language! :)

Alright, back to camp tomorrow morning! Gotta go to sleep soon:)

Justin

4th of November - Discipline

I once read a book about learning the art of understanding yourself better, and there was this one quote that I only recently recalled.

"In everything you do, all requires discipline. Even things that come right down to what you do daily, also requires discipline. If you have no discipline, then you can forget about achieving your goals or pursue your dreams. To understand yourself better, you must first master discipline".

Discipline is something that I have yet to understand in depth, let alone master it. I do fall into temptations pretty easily, as I succumb to the peer pressure around me, all around me in fact.

One example of starting to learn proper discipline, I actually signed up for a savings plan few months back just to make sure I learn the hard way of controlling my monthly expenditure. As a NSF, my monthly allowance is very little so I have to spend even lesser due to the monthly payment of the savings plan. Even though I have saved a decent amount, no amount is enough for my future. My future is going to be a rough one :\

Time to sleep, waking up at an ungodly hour to go to camp tomorrow morning :\ (had to rush through this post because it's super late and I have to sleep :\)

3rd of November

Freaking got locked out of the house because I misplaced my house keys, and I had a terrible stomachache from the breakfast opposite the base. Imagine enduring the pain and the huge urge to use the toilet, and I had to look for my mum that was somewhere in the neighbourhood. I managed to get into the house after getting my mum's key, and had a good shit :D

It's been around 4 days since I sat down and properly did some math while not getting distracted by the things around me. Unfortunately it only lasted for 45 minutes as my minecraft server was open and my friend was telling me to get some stuff built quickly. After playing some minecraft I headed downstairs for a very quick night workout. At the chip up bar, I saw this middle aged man practicing some Wing Chun and his basic form was GOOD, like no kidding. I really wanted to approach him and talk to him but I remembered it was disrespectful to interrupt someone while he/she is practicing the basic form.

I proceeded with my run instead of approaching that man. I don't know why today I tried running my usual 2.4 km speed, and I sort of almost collapsed just after the halfway mark. Had to stop because I sort of feared that I would collapse or something. I don't know whether it is because I didn't sleep well due to the overnight shift before or just that I haven't been running recently. Disagreed with the latter as I ran the day before mounting. Back at the chin up bars, I used the sit up station and cranked out 65 sit ups with all my might (my core is terribly weak), then I headed home to crank out 100 push ups before hitting the showers. 

216 more days before I ORD, sometimes I do tell myself, "It's been a while, but it has been a swift but rocky journey." From the permanent lack of manpower issue to the stupid BS that my PC and some of the perm staffs that give us from time to time made me pretty much immune to their barks and their unreasonable requests. Well screw them all, I'm just here to do my job and not to please them (meh). 

Alright, standby day tomorrow, hopefully no cockster take MC, or else I won't be able to come home tomorrow :\

1st of November

Here comes the 2nd last month of the year! :) Which also means that I've got less than 7 months before I ORD :DDDDDDDD

I woke up with my arms and chest aching because I completed an intense gym session with my army friends the previous day. We ended everything with a good meal at the nearby coffee shop, I had a plate of Roasted Chicken Breast rice with a cold drink before we all headed for home. Energy levels hit sub zero and I totally had no energy to do anything else so I opened my minecraft server for my friends to play on it while I went to take a short nap. Mum bought chicken chop for me while my brother got me a bowl of laksa, eat until super super full :D

So today I followed my parents to SAFRA since my dad had to do some sports admin stuffs there, while waiting I got myself a subway sandwich since I was super super hungry and I didn't want to wait all the way till my dad finished his work. Headed back home just in time for lunch, mum cooked for me my favourite home cooked food as I was watching some CS:GO funny videos before I went to do some math that I cracked my head over :\

So... 7 months left and I have to achieve my ultimate goal, which is to get gold for my IPPT. Still trying to focus on each station my working out bit my bit every single day. I have tried the daily 200 push up regime, unfortunately on some days I am unable to do because I'm on overnight shift. Therefore I compensate it by either doing more the day before or after I dismount from camp. My highest record so far is 355 push ups in 35 minutes, and I still remember I immediately fell asleep after I bathed :D.

My long weekend is finally over and I've got to go back to camp tomorrow morning for another 24 hours shift :\ This week ended pretty good after going through rough times mid week, and I'm looking forward to the new week ahead :)

Justin

30th of October - Re-ignited the feels

Till now I'm still not enlightened about one crucial question that I've always asked my friends but never got an answer. Some of my female friends told me this before, "Actually boring guys are good leh, in a sense that they will be super loyal to their girlfriend or wife in the future. For someone like you, I think your other half will be super blessed".

I was glad that their impression of me is a good one. However I do see an irony, a major one. If females say that boring guys make good partners, then why my friends leading monotonous but meaningful lives are being dumped by their partners one at a time? Even some of my friends, whom I know for more than 15 years, their character being of a pure soul, is also getting dumped by their partners. Those ladies that dumped my friends, went for guys that are more outgoing, spontaneous and people that knows how to party. 

I'm confused, like really.

Anyway it was around 5 pm, doing my shift work with Bryan. He was sharing about how he flopped things up when he was out dating with this girl of his, and there was one point when he said about what he was doing while driving his car. "You know when I was driving halfway, she fell into a deep deep sleep and her head was falling towards the direction of my shoulder. This is something that I always wanted, like when you're driving and the car stops at the red traffic light, you turn your head and look at how beautiful she is. It's something unexplainable".

A bad habit of mine, which is being jealous and also the frequent comparison of lives with my peers. I felt jealous after he shared his story with me. He has the things that I also want to experience, which I feel I might not be able to experience at all.

I felt absolutely terrible during dinner, so I didn't talk to anyone. Headed upstairs and forced out 160 push ups to cool my head off before going to sleep.

At least I did feel a lot better after waking up.

28th of October

Absolutely horrible mount that I just completed this morning. I was given an 8 pm to 4 am sleep break because I helped the sister section to cover duties. Felt a little pissed because I requested some of them to help me bring me my dinner as I was away on another post and no shift during dinner time so I couldn't go out to collect my own food. Furthermore they ordered McDonalds so I wanted to eat even more earlier as the sugar from the drinks will keep me awake at night. Sadly no one brought in the food or bothered to take over me. I even had to ask a sergeant to take over my shift for a short period so that I could go out to use the washroom and then collect my food.

The arms commander was also late so I got taken over 20 minutes later than usual, while the rest had already returned to the bunks to rest. I was already a little pissed but I just decided to go and get a shower before sleeping.

A headache later developed so I couldn't sleep properly, waking up almost every 5-10 minutes (yes). The weather was also terribly humid so I was sweating non stop while trying to keep myself warm from the fan that was constantly blowing on my lower body.

Endured until the end of the mount, and finally dismounted from camp. Drizzling slightly so I had to choing all the way to the bus stop opposite the base. Withdrew some cash but had to withdraw a higher amount because the machine wouldn't let me freaking withdraw the lowest amount avaliable :\ Slept all the way till late afternoon, did some math while playing some old school Runescape and not forgetting the music that somehow kept me pretty concentrated while doing math :)

I actually had the energy to do a quick 1.6km run under 7 minutes, and had to struggle my way to do 160 pushups in 14 minutes which was slower than usual. I guess it's the lack of rest :\ By the way, I'm very glad that I sort of made a new friend although I met her previously at a friend's 21st around 2 months ago. I have been tweeting her a little and I do hope that we can be friends soon :)

Alright I've got another 24 hours mount to do tomorrow, gotta sleep now :)

26th of October

I have been thinking about the semi-opened air bar that I went with 2 of my friends. Seems to be a pretty relaxing place, actually in fact it is one of the most relaxing places I've ever been other than my own home :D

I do need a break from all the overnight shifts that I have been constantly been doing in camp. One overnight shift every 2 days, with an extremely irregular sleep break. But at least food is provided so I get to save some money for my future expenses, and not forgetting good food muhahahaha. Long weekend is coming up and I might actually go back to the bar and maybe get a small drink again? :)

I have been thinking a lot about this lady recently. We both have some similarities, like our taste in music and also sadly, a medical condition. She's a very nice person and I feel that I can be good friends with her hopefully :)

Time to sleep, another overnight shift tomorrow. I might buy myself a good McDonalds breakfast after the whole thing ends.

Justin.

22th of October

The night shift was pretty fun as we had good snacks, and hot drinks to last us through the 12 am to 4 am shift. But the 2 hour + sleep break was terrible, when I woke up I was feeling so disorientated and dazed as my eyes wouldn't stop shutting. The breakfast provided by the camp was pretty decent though, ate at least 80% of the food given.

The bad part was after I left camp, I had to wait for at least 5 buses before I could bored as it was packed with students that were going to NP and SIM. There's one thing I can't understand when it comes to boarded buses. IF and only if the bus is super packed and there's clearly enough space for only ONE more person to board, but 9 F-ing people decides to board all at one go. After one of the nine people board, the rest will go back into the bus stop, with the ultra disappointed face. COME FUCKING ON, don't know how to AUTO is it? OR are they just bloody hell blind? If they know that only ONE damn PERSON can only board, then if there's someone waiting in front, then just wait for the next damn bus, God freaking damn it.

Reached home after one hour since the bus moved slower than usual, but glad that there was breakfast at home. Slept while AFKing in a game, then mum came home with lunch but I wasn't hungry so I slept again until around 2 pm. Woke up and watched Kitchen Nightmares on my com while trying to do some math. Feeling pretty guilty as I keep getting distracted by the show, and also about the fact that Gordon Ramsay could talk sense into the most stubborn, egoistic and arrogant restaurant owners in the US. Gordon Ramsay is one patient person, if it was me, I would have argued the crap out of them (Just saying, I 'm not really like that!! Or at least I try not to be a person that easily loses his temper._.).

Before dinner I went out for a run as I somehow emerged out of the laziness mood. The first 2 km was okay, but technically I walked a little in between as I had to stop while walking to the sports complex in SP. Ran 4 rounds around the track, and both my muscles behind the shins started aching real bad so I stopped to walk out of the complex and back onto the path at the roadside. I then ran around 400 metres to the zebra crossing that was close to the SP dorms, turned around and started the last 1 km run which felt like eternity (:\). Oh so many times I felt like giving up and to just walk for the remainder of the distance, but some how another voice in my head just giving me the pace to run as I moved forward leg after leg. Reached back safely, luckily I didn't black out or throw up since I ate lunch pretty late.

Just did 200 grueling push ups while listening to my favourite songs, so the pain didn't felt so, that painful? Haha ._.

So today was pretty okay, besides for the fact that I kept getting distracted while trying to do some math in the afternoon.

Some of my friends are going through tough periods, be it in school, at work, or suffering with an lifelong medical condition. Just wanna let them know that I'm rooting for them where ever they are, or what ever they are doing. Cheers to them :)

Justin

20th of October

Somehow waking up before my alarm rings is starting to become a norm since I have been posted to Gombak base. I woke up at 3 am because I had to charge my crazy phone, the battery seems to have a life of it's own. Either it super charges to max battery in less than 5 minutes or it takes crazily long to charge it to full voltage. Sighpies.

Headed off to camp wearing the pair of jeans that was given to me during my birthday. I thought the skinny jeans will actually shrink even more after my mum washed them, but apparently it seems to be okay for now :) Some how my stomach ached real bad after first parade, and I had to choing to the toilet without even changing out. Had a good shit but it completely drained out all of my energy, somehow forcing everything out has consumed my energy in the process (LOLOLOLOL). Had to report early because someone was late and someone had to take his place, and I happen to be the poor soul that is available. On a good note, lunch was good. In camp, food is rarely good but the chicken tomato pasta was exceptionally good that day:D

It was training day so we had to report to the gym for an official training session conducted by another regular. It was a pretty fruitful session as I did more lifting sets than usual, and also I ran quite a distance on the treadmill. Went out for dinner with Axel since he needed to go to Art Friend to get some drawing stuff. 

Right now I'm back at home and listening to my favourite songs on my com :D. Just did some math though, brain is getting pretty rusty from the lack of info going into my head so I am actually getting some stuffs back on track by doing some basic math. Alright, time for some games before heading to bed :D

On a good note, I'm getting CNBLUE's latest album '2gether' later this month, hopefully I get the poster of the whole group so I can get it pasted on my room's wall :D

18th of October

Recently I have been reading a lot of quotes, pictures and some shows with deep meanings behind it. One of them hit me real hard.

"Finding balance and enlightenment within yourself/.
7 energies to unlock, 7 purposes, but blocked by 7 different emotional marks.

- Earth energy, located at the base of the spine. Deals with SURVIVAL, but blocked by FEAR. What am I most afraid of? Let them be clear to you, surrender the fears and let them flow away.

- Water energy, located at the sacrum. Deals with PLEASURE, but blocked by GUILT. What are all the guilt that burdens your soul? What do you blame yourself for? Accept the reality that these things happen, but do not let them cloud or poison your energy and soul. To be a positive influence in the world, you have to forgive yourself.

- Fire energy, located at the stomach. Deals with WILLPOWER, but blocked by SHAME. What are you ashamed of? What are your biggest disappointments in yourself? Remember, you will never find balance if you deny this part of your life.

- Air energy, located in the heart. Deals with LOVE, but blocked by GRIEF. Let all of your grief out in front of you. Love is an energy, and it swerves all around us. Your family and friends love for you is not lost, but it is deep inside your heart and reborn-ed as another form of love. Let the pain, flow away...

- Sound energy, located in the throat. Deals with TRUTH, but blocked by LIES. What are the lies that we tell ourselves? You have to first accept that destiny that you want, not the destiny that someone else is trying to force upon you.

- Light energy, located in the centre of the forehead. Deals with INSIGHT, but blocked by ILLUSION. One of the greatest illusions in this world, is the illusion of separation. Some things  you think are separate and different, are actually one and the same. Like people, but we all live as if divided.

- Thought energy, located at the crown of the head. Deals with COSMIC energy, but blocked by EARTHLY ATTACHMENTS. You have to let all of those attachments GO. Let them flow down the river forgotten. Think of the lovely attachments that you have, and let them go."

That part about letting go of earthly attachments, the people I love, the people I care about, and most importantly the love of my life. In order to understand more about myself, I have to give up many things, including her? I was in disbelief. I'm not sure whether I wanted to understand myself more, or to continue things the way they are. The image of her flowing away from my life, just terrifies me. What will happen if I made her flow away? Will I be as empty as before? Or am I just going to find someone else and fill up that spot so that that emptiness feeling won't come back? But if I do that I'm just finding excuses for myself, and being extremely selfish.

Right now I guess I will just focus on the first 6.

11th of October

It's just been 24 hours since my birthday party ended, and I myself can't believe that I made through the day with very little sleep since I mounted the day before. I was absolutely angsty since the moment I reached home because I was so tired. Decos weren't even up, the cake not collected and then I was hungry since the breakfast was absolutely horrible. Used my com and listened to some music to calm myself down, settled the decos and slept on my chair for around 30 minutes. Still angst I headed to Clementi with my brother to get the cake and lunch.

Fast forward to the party, my army friends messed with my computer and changed the wallpaper to my eye candy (meh). Loads of laughter with the helium and our stomachs were full with the dinner and drinks. I gave a speech with the words that came right from my heart in front of everyone, I guess it was the first so I knew I was pretty nervous but since my mum told me to cut it short so I summed it up as much as possible.

Sang the birthday song and then I had a private chat with Namra as she was the one that helped me the most. be it the planning or the carrying of some of the decos. I gave a 2 tight hugs as a form of my gratitude to her, she also even gave me a pair of skinny jeans from ZARA which definitely cost her quite a bit of money. My army friends gave me a wallet from Braun Buffel, but what everyone gave me was their valuable time that they have set aside for me. Lastly was the wish book, everyone wrote some messages for me, I read every single one of them and I could say that I was so touched as I never knew what exactly my friends thought about me and they wrote very nice things about me.

Went out for supper with one of my bros, had Mexican cheese fries while my bro had Grilled chicken chop and a cup of iced milo. We walked down Holland Village while chatting about our recent life occurrences, headed for home after that. My parents cleaned up the place and changed my bed sheets too, I was so touched by their efforts and I could hear them sleeping so soundly.

Really thankful for my family as they helped me in every single part of the journey in my life, be it primary school, secondary school, poly or even army. They never gave up on me even though I gave them trouble after trouble, time and time again.

Time to sleep soon. but I guess I will have difficulty sleeping. Not in a bad way though, I'm smiling like a happy 5 year old kid whilst typing this blog post. Hopefully I do fall asleep soon! :)

8th of October

Did the final prep for the birthday celebration this coming Saturday, and faced with some difficulties such as the balloons not being able to be pumped because the mouth is tightly sealed etc. Solved them nevertheless:)

Besides doing the prep work for my party this Saturday, I also went back to watch one of my favourite childhood shows, Avatar: The Last Airbender. I enjoyed every moment while watching, and it took me a total of 2 days to finish watching the whole series (I actually didn't watch from episode 1 as I felt that the starting was a little boring). The final fight between the Avatar and the fire lord was so good, I think I rematches the whole fight for at least 5 times. In addition I think the female characters in the series, some of them are pretty attractive, it's been a long time since I've found a cartoon character really attractive to me. Characters like Katara really attracted me the most as she had this never ending kind heart that is filled with love, and furthermore a serving spirit towards the needy and even has healing powers. Another character is Princess Yue from the North Pole, her conservative but kind character also made me attracted to her. 

I think I sound like some crazy man mentioning about how attracted I am to these fictional characters, but meh. Probably going to watch the whole series once more after my birthday. 

Furthermore, I've have broken 2 of my fitness records!!! Which is the most number of push ups did in one day, and also the duration taken to do 200 push ups! Probably converting to a pure calisthenics workout from now on, gotta get my body to recognize what I can do and what I can't. 

Till then, one more mount and it's my birthday party! Adios!

6th of October

Final preparations are done, and I just left 3 more days to my 21st birthday party! Honestly I'm super excited for what is to come, because it's the first time so many of my friends are coming over to my place, and also they can understand the environment that I live in day by day :)

Sadly the cake maker wasn't able to put the image that I wanted onto the cake itself as there were some copyright issues, oh well. At least I know deep down inside my heart, that photo will be my driving strength in the future and will definitely shape my character for the better. Spent quite some time talking to my mum about the food that I was planning to order from the caterer since my parents are not going to cook as they feel that it's easier for them to order and cleaning up will definitely be way easier as compared to cooking dish after dish by themselves.

Now I've just got 2 more mounts to complete and I will be able to see the happy faces of all of my friends that I am inviting this coming Saturday:)

22th of September

A few more days and it is the end of September! *plays the Green Day song* :D

October is coming and it shows me 2 things, firstly it's my 21st birthday and secondly I have only 258 days left to the end of my service. I've come a long way, from the countless order ins, looking at different 'chio' female camp visitors, gossiping about the crazy perm staff to enduring all of the retarded BS that my PC is giving us. 

I have gained weight back into the healthy range, which is close to 70kg. My running and statics have improved dramatically ever since I completed Polytechnic, so you say that I've changed a lot for the better in terms of physical appearance. 

Recently been chatting and meeting up old friends. There's one friend that I want to share, I used to dislike her in Secondary school because I thought she was very snobbish, attention seeking etc. But when I met up with her after she wanted to meet me after a long 5 years, and her physical image changed A LOT, like as if she was a completely new person (yes, in terms of character too). She's a great listener and gives very constructive feedback when it comes to certain topics like work and life, a good friend indeed. The best part? She even agreed to bring me to a bar which I've never been to before, she also promised to buy me a drink which I could drink and chat with her into the night. An experience I can't wait to try out! :D

Preparations for my 21st is still on-going, I do hope my party will a enjoyable one, will carry on planning as the day draws closer and closer *nervous meme* Like what the old man said, "Fail to plan? Plan to fail. Simple." Will have to put in 110% effort for the planning next week :D

Alright time to sleep!

Justin

13th of September

"The first step into solving a problem is realizing that there is one"

I have been a terrible person these few months, venting my anger and frustration onto my peers and my best friends around me. I have even hurt my family without knowing it.

So what happened to me these few months? I have been jealous, my ego has taken over me, my rage controlled my actions and emotions, I have been a crazy desperate person. Most importantly, I have been terribly intimidated by the people around me, be it whether it is by my friends or family.

To the love of my life, I have never forgotten you one single bit ever since day 1, yes I may have eye candies every now and then, but the person that never left my heart was you. I will probably never have the courage to talk to you ever again, let alone ask you out once more. I'm happy for you for what you have become, reborn with Christ. Congratulations on your baptism and may you have the strength and love to make a positive impact on other people's lives. Never stop showing the world your beautiful smile and I do hope you will find someone that is truly capable of making you smile, forever.

To all of the people that I have made them frown upon me, or shake their heads when they think about a person like me, I'm truly sorry for my terrible attitude and actions once again, I know it is not the first time this has happened, I will definitely work on it and I will emerge as a better person in the future. I know I will not be able to apologize right in front of your faces, but I feel this is the first step into an apology.