7th of April

Gosh, I woke up super, super late while trying to wake up early. I set an alarm to wake myself at 10 am, I remember when the alarm went off I stretched my hand to turn off the alarm on my phone. I laid on my bed for a short while with my eyes slightly opened, and the next moment I checked for the time on my phone, it's already 12 noon. So you could say that I was pretty shocked when I saw the time on my phone, woke up and washed up anyway. Mum cooked lunch since it's too late for breakfast because of my screwed up timing which I woke up (lol), bee hoon soup with some veggies and prawns, played some cabal before helping my mum do some vacuuming at my room and my parent's room. Had to like 'ninja' every now and then because of the space constraint, and I even had to like dismantle part of the air tubes just to get to places that are really narrow.

Continued playing cabal, went for the 4 pm nation war after much hesitation, and to my surprise I actually got pretty decent results. 10th place in the entire nation despite lacking the proper equipment and being under-leveled by 3 levels as compared to other players in that tier (opps, ego coming out again ._. feeling a little guilty :\) Bought some chicken for some early dinner at Star Vista, was actually against it because I wanted to just stay at home and rest before going out. Left the house with my stomach feeling a little funky from that early dinner, reached YB's house and paid my debt after 3 years (even though it's 20 bucks, took me 3 years to repay the money). I followed YB since he haven't had his dinner, he bought a bowl of porridge and 2 BBQ chicken wings and we chatted for a bit before he went upstairs and got some small stuffs. Bought myself a bottled drink because I didn't bring any water out (:\)

We went to the park nearby and we started chatting and discussing our current lives and the things that we were doing. So I will just share some of the stuff that I'm doing / planning to do right now. Right now I'm still waiting to get called for my job interview and I'm also waiting to enter the army (D:)

Updated: The lady boss of the company just called me and arranged an interview on Wednesday, *raising hand meme*

We chatted till about 11:30 pm until I had to leave for home and YB had to sleep soon because he has work the next day. I boarded the bus without having to wait for long because the bus was at the junction and the light was red so I guess I was lucky to be able to catch the bus (:P) Reached home and played one game with Xing Tang, Eugene and Axel before I actually went to work on this blog post (I actually started this post 24 hours ago and I've got no idea why I didn't managed to finish working on it before I went to sleep)

So it's now 1 pm in the afternoon on the 8th of April right, and I will start on another post tonight since the day is still not over and I might be taking a nap or something later in the afternoon (so I might as well just complete this unfinished post since yesterday :D)

Adios Amigos~!

Justin

6th of April

Like any normal day, I woke up at 11 am (actually my mum woke me up when she had to tell me something, I think that was around 9 am I THINK :P) Still feeling sleepy, I woke up and washed up, then switched on my computer and went to play some games while waiting for my mum to buy back some lunch (yes, I skipped breakfast because I overslept). Played some left 4 dead while eating some delicious Chicken Rice (with added rice because my mum knew that I didn't eat any breakfast - I love you mum, even though I don't usually say it out loud in front of you). Played 2 different campaigns, while I rage quit the 3rd because I couldn't stand the bots just standing there and seeing you die slowly.

After lunch I played some cabal, did some dungeoneering alone (again :\) and managed to earn some money after 3 hours. Mum cooked some tea break at around 3 pm, some nice 'kueh' and a hot Milo before returning to cabal. Guan Hao messaged me using the steam platform message and asked me to play some Dota with him. As I was still in cabal dealing with some monetary issues, I told him to wait for a short while. Within minutes, I joined Guan Hao and played the single draft dota mode. The first 2 games were not very pleasant because there were players that kept leaving and abandoning the game. In other words, they kept ruining the game. So basically after those players abandoned the game, Guan Hao and I just left too, since the short of players will just result in an imbalance of players, leaving the team with lesser players a huge huge disadvantage. We managed to play a decent game after that, was a pretty tough game because we kept winning and losing teamfights, so it was pretty hard to tell which team was going to emerge victorious. We managed to win at the very end, but it took a little toll on us because we were both exhausted after that game. Rong Jun joined us after he finished his co-op game, and we played another match, resulting in a win at the very end (was too lazy to post details about that match when Rong Jun joined us).

Mum went out to have dinner with my dad so she offered to buy back some dinner for us, I told my mum want I wanted to eat and then continued gaming. At around 6 my brother wanted to go out for a run, but as he was closing the door, I suddenly remembered that if I went out to run too, there will be no one inside the house to open the door for me since I knew that I will return home earlier than my brother. So I quickly asked my brother how long will he take to exercise and return home, instead he asked if I wanted to join him for a run. I quickly agreed and got changed in less than 2 minutes, and we headed downstairs. We agreed on running one full round around Singapore Polytechnic, which is approximately 3.2 km. We started running, saw my Uncle while running. I didn't really say hello to my Uncle because I wanted to focus on running, after about 2 km, I was dead tired so I stopped to walk for a short while. Walked past University town and New Town Secondary School, started running for a few metres (100 -150 metres) before quickly becoming exhausted again. Managed to painfully run the last 600 metres while enduring the pain near my hips, and my brother completed the run a few seconds after me. Brother went to get a drink from the Supermart, I followed him and we went to do some pull ups after that. Managed to do around 4 since I was already too exhausted from the run.

(skipped to after dinner since I'm too lazy to talk in detail what happened after reaching home and dinner, basically I chatted with Guan Hao and Rong Jun as they were playing, and mum came home with dinner so I just ate while chatting with them). Xing Tang wanted to join me for some #lowtierdota, so I agreed and asked Guan Hao and Rong Jun to join. 3 hours of non stop crap talking and watching my friend type all sort of nonsense stuff, had a great laugh in such a long time. I was pretty much thankful to him for playing with us because he also gave a good laugh for my friends, which I think is something we all need every once and awhile.

*It's 1:45 am right now and I'm already quite tired from typing this long long post (D:), so I will stop right here and create a new post for the brand new day tomorrow :D*

Adios Amigos~! :P

Justin

5th of April

I knew the night before that it was Tomb Sweeping day the following day, so I TRIED to sleep a bit earlier. But of course it never works unless I'm really tired, lol. Woke up around 7 am due to the loud sounds of the wind as it was going to rain heavily. Lazed in bed for 10 minutes before dragging my feet out and washed up. Had some breakfast and stoned in front of the com while waiting to leave the house, started raining heavily the moment we left the house. That wasn't all, felt like throwing up the moment we left house and also while waiting for the bus. Basically I had a terrible time as I was enduring the feeling of nausea, but luckily it went away after about 2 hours.

After praying at the place at Holland, we headed up North to Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery to pray to my uncle and grandfather, at the same time my dad brought me to see who my great grandfather and grand uncle were, as I have never seen them before, it's quite sad that the first them I see them, I can only stare at their pictures on the urn. So we went to clean the urn lockers for my great grandfather and grand uncle, and after that my cousins went to 'talk' to my uncle that passed on 2 years back. My father then discussed with my aunt about places to buy and to reserve for the future, I just hope that that time won't come any time soon, and that to enjoy life till then. Didn't managed to eat lunch until about 2+, stomach was feeling funky all morning after hours of enduring the nausea :\ So we went to eat some light lunch at the food hall. Mum passed me a box of vegetarian bee hoon, ate it anyway because I was too hungry. Then I fell asleep on the table because I was feeling so tired.

Soon after we left the place and took bus number 52 as my parents wanted to go to Clementi for some early dinner. The bus ride was a long and tiring bus ride, firstly was my backache that I had to endure, secondly was that there were no seats so I had no choice but to stand for most of the bus ride. While standing throughout the bus ride I felt tired and I even almost fell asleep while standing. Later my brother and I managed to find a seat near to the back of the bus, so we both sat down for the rest of the journey. I actually daydreamed a little because I was so tired. I dreamed that I was having happy times with her, holding her hand while running down a beach, then having a nice dinner near the beach for dinner and a night walk under the stars. Another part of it was that I was washing dishes with her and then I went to playfully place some soap bubbles on the tip of her nose, then she cutely placed some of them back onto my nose as a form of cute revenge. We both laughed at each other after that, and the last part of it was that I was standing back the same beach, and gave a kiss on her forehead and she smiled sweetly back at me, I woke up due to the bus moving up the highway and there were lots of rocking here and there.

Reached Clementi station after about 40 minutes of bus ride, alighted and we headed to this chinese restaurant to have early dinner. I didn't feel good and a little sick to my stomach, so I just ate very little and left for home early.

After leaving for home my stomach felt abit better, I was a little hungry so I ate some chicken flavoured cup noodles before I went to watch some Ghost Adventures on Youtube. Fell asleep on my bed while waiting for my friend to come home from dinner so that we could start the late night gaming session. So when I woke up I didn't feel like gaming so I just went to watch some more Ghost Adventures while having some bread for supper.

Yup so that's all that happened today, didn't really feel good because of my stomach, but I guess sleeping longer hours might help a little I guess? :P

Adios Amigos~

Justin

4th of April

Another magical thing happened to me today, and like the previous post I guess I shall start after I get out of bed.. Went to wash up and have some breakfast, felt like throwing up after eating so I went to distract myself by playing some Left 4 Dead 2. Stepped out of the house around 12+ and made my way to Funan Digitalife Mall. So I went there to submit my CV (Curriculum Vitae) to the company which was my former internship place. At the counter I saw my former colleague talking on the phone an another intern sitting at the counter beside her.

I actually went to ask her what course she was studying in etc, and I wasn't surprised when she told me that she was working her as an intern and was also from the same course as me. I chatted with my former colleague and I found out that quite a number of things changed such as repair charges / service charges increased by quite a lot, and I also learnt that many former colleagues of mine left. Quite a pity that I can't get to catch up with them. Took the train back to Chinatown and met up with my mum outside the MRT station, and went to eat some McDonalds for lunch. I felt like throwing up after eating but luckily that feeling went away after 20 minutes, and I was relieved of course :D Chatted with Yuan Bo over on WhatsApp while waiting for the food inside my stomach to settle, and of course I went to mail you know who (wink wink) :D

So I mailed you know who and asked if she wanted the picture that my friend took for me and her. My heart was beating like crazy as I was about to die waiting for her response. I then followed my mum to go to Uni Qlo to buy a new formal shirt for my graduation this coming May. Picked up a few shirts just to fit the size of my tiny upper body (D:), tried on a size S and it fitted perfectly but the sleeves were too short, so Mum suggested on changing it to one shirt size bigger. I agreed and mum went to take a larger size, while waiting the lady boss of the company called me on my phone. She actually asked me what kind of job scope I wanted if I wanted to work for them, so I replied that if I could get the job that I used to do back then during internship. Of course the lady boss offered me another position, but I told her that I had no experience in that field, she reassured me by saying to me that no one knows everything on the first day of work, then she proceeded by telling me that there will be an interview arranged within the next week.

Then something magical happened, I didn't dare to check my phone after I mailed you know who. But oh well I had to check sooner or later, so I unlocked my phone and went to Facebook. On my screen, it showed that I had 1 notification and 1 message. Me being a typical me (lol), I went to check the notification first. I clicked on the notification icon, and what I saw next activated the large adrenaline rush of excitement and happiness inside me. She accepted my friend request on Facebook, and I was celebrating like a mad man in the middle of the Uni-Qlo shop. People around me were staring at me, but I didn't care because it's the first time I'm genuinely felt happiness after a long time. Went home after purchasing the shirt, and while taking the bus back home, I went to chat with Yuan Bo and told him about the magical things that happened. After that I went to see what you know who replied, and she said that I could send her the picture via Facebook chat, but since I was outside, I told her that I could only send it to her when I reach home. After reaching home, I went to send the picture to her, and I said: "Alright here's the picture".

She replied, "Haha Thanks! I look so short here (with the laughing with tears emoticon)" I told her, that she wasn't short and that she's also relatively tall as compared to my friends. She replied saying that she wasn't the tall type (with a smile), then she said,"see you during graduation" thus ending the conversation. Obviously I didn't want the conversation to end but since she said it in such a convincing way to end one, I guess I had no choice to end the conversation too by saying: "Okay then, see you at graduation too:) Talk to you soon:)" After that I was hoping that she will reply once more, but I guess she was busy or something, so the next thing I saw was just a ✓ Seen 19:26.

I enjoyed talking to her even though it was only just 2 sentences that she said to me, and I couldn't help but to share the happiness by chatting with Yuan Bo, Ben and also with Guan Hao on skype. With the good mood, I ate my dinner and chatted with Guan Hao till around 9+ pm, and we both started the late night gaming session.

*The late night gaming session just ended and I'm still here typing out this long long post (D:) because I have another entry to make tomorrow*

It's pretty late into the night and I've got to wake up early to go out with my family for prayers tomorrow morning. So Adios Amigos!~ :P

Justin

3rd of April

It's been about close to one month since I have officially ended classes and exams in SP, quite a sad period of time for me as no school made me feel pretty empty and bored. Haven't really been doing many things since then, other than some impromptu gatherings/late night gaming sessions with Rong Jun and Guan Hao, sometimes Yuan Bo will join in. Truly treasured those times, as other than doing that, I will just end up gaming alone or just watch Korean variety shows such as Running Man, Hello Counselor or Happy Together.

Been in rather poor health these few days, feeling like throwing up after eating meals. Anxiety attacks happen every now and then, usually when I'm outside and also when I'm feeling nauseous after a meal. Tried going for some jogs every now and then, which helped a little as running increases my appetite for the next meal and makes me feel tired more earlier, which will help me to sleep earlier and better at night. I also have been experiencing some sleepless nights for the past 3 days, sleeping long hours but late into the night. I wake up around 11 am but I still feel very tired and sometimes even feeling sick after I get out of bed. The sleepless nights usually start by my stomach bloating to the point I feel absolutely nauseous, and after eating some medication, the nauseousness will go away just that the stomach remains bloated until like 4 am in the morning, and that's when I do actually manage to fall asleep. Oh well, this has been going on for quite awhile, but I do manage to get well after a few days, just that the downside is that my appetite will be ruined for a short period of time. In other words the diet during that period of time will just be fish soup + rice or sometimes just soup alone. Sucks doesn't it?

Downloaded quite a number of Korean songs recently, because I have been listening to some charts by some You Tubers, and I felt that some of them were pretty good, so I just downloaded them straight into my computer. Songs like CNBLUE's Can't Stop, MYNAME's Day by Day, Yong Jun Hyung's Flower and Caffeine. I also found another clubbing remix which I though it was awesome :D That mix has this particular part that consisted of songs like Seungri's Gotta Talk To U, 2pm's Come back When You Hear This Song, Henry's 1-4-3, Infinite's Destiny, CL's The Baddest Female, Teen Top's Rocking and BTOB's Thriller. I couldn't stop replaying that part over and over again because it was simply too awesome beyond words :P

Here's the link if you want to check out the remix by yourself! :
http://youtu.be/io98btiYBSY

Just remember to turn on the annotations to when you watch while listening so that if there's any song want to know more about, it's given in the annotations :P:D Happy listening :)

And so I guess this post will come to an end here because I might be going for a night gaming session with Guan Hao and Rong Jun in a few minutes time. So, adios amigos! :D

Justin

Grad Party

So yeah here I am back again because something very magical happened to me yesterday. So you may ask, what was the magical thing that happened to me yesterday? Shall I start from the moment I stepped out from the house?

I was doing some stuff on my laptop, then I went to watch a show, I left house in a haste after seeing the time that I had left on the clock to meet my friends. We were supposed to meet at 1 pm to watch the Captain America: The Winter Soldier movie that afternoon. With haste, I managed to reach the cinema entrance at about 1:30 pm, met Nam then I asked her to enter first because the rest of them were already sitting inside. Bought my own set of Popcorn and drink, and sat down in the cinema hall to watch the movie. The movie itself was beyond awesome, too many bad ass things in there, won't reveal any spoilers, watch the film yourself :) Anyway after the movie we headed back to school for the Grad party, something that I've waited for since forever. A friend of mine told me that there was an email sent to us containing the names of the participants. I frantically went to check the email, hoping to see if she was also attending the party. To my dismay, her name and contact didn't appear in the list, leaving me very disappointed and a little sad, Crestfallen, I followed my friends to the food court 3, they ate some food but I just sat there and chatted with my friends til around 4:50 pm, where we made our way to the Hall area where the Grad party was held. Saw the reception counter, then I went to register my name and collect my goodie bag. When I turned my head and looked inside the Hall, I saw her, standing near the podium, controlling something on the laptop. My heart skipped a beat the moment I saw her and I couldn't express the feeling of joy when I saw her. My friends were teasing me a little when they saw her too. We entered the hall and my friends chose the table that is relatively near to the podium (perhaps they were helping me), but I was thankful for that.

Unexpectedly, she was the one of the MCs for the dinner and that made her stand out even more. Since they were not many people attending the dinner, she requested for all of us to be more 'sporting' so that things won't be so awkward between the participants and the MCs. There were games being played, and the first game was called 'bingo', in which there was a piece of paper with a 6 x 7 grid, and behind the paper were a number of requirements to fulfill. Requirements such as finding the person with the same hobby, same birth month, or someone that is joining the workforce soon etc. As I skimmed through the requirements, there was one that caught my eye, this statement that said: 'Someone you find pretty'. That very moment, a light bulb went over my head, since the MC said that I could ask anyone, I quickly made my my mind and I went to ask her. I hesitated for quite awhile, and for some reason, a large amount of courage surged through my body, and the next thing I knew, I tapped on her elbow and she stared at me. That moment, I couldn't believe that she's staring at me. I opened my mouth and I said to her: "Hey, I think you are really beautiful to me". After hearing that, she laughed and said one of the sweetest 'thank you' to me, and she filled that square with the signature. Next, I asked her: "So what's your name?" (I know it is a very irrelevant question because I already knew her name long time ago). "Soyeon", she said, and then I replied to her by saying, "Oh, my name is Justin" and then we smiled. At least she knew about my existence.

Skipping to the dinner, my stomach was feeling very funky after drinking a cup of orange juice. So I didn't really have much appetite to eat. Instead, I got myself a small plate of fried noodles, some vegetables and a small slice of sweet and sour fish. During dinner Soyeon walked from table to table and handed out a small circular tin of butter cookies, she then leaned close to me to place the tin on the table, After seeing this, my friend said to me, "liking this Justin?" I obviously didn't reply because I was a lil' embarrassed. Since none of my friends didn't want the tin of cookies, it ended up in my hands (I was secretly celebrating of course). The whole time I was just looking at her and giving her the 'love look in my eyes' the whole time when I'm staring at her. After dinner, there was a photo taking session, and soon after was free and easy. Another light bulb went over my head, so I quickly asked my friend to help me. The adrenaline rush surged through my body once more, and I approached her once more. I asked her, "Soyeon? Is it okay if I can take a picture with you?" With a cheerful voice, she said,"Sure!" I was awfully delighted.

She took a picture with me and I was trying not to smile awkwardly. I really couldn't believe that she's just less than 8 cm away from me. After that I thanked her, and I went off to chat with my other friends. As I left the Hall, my whole body was feeling like a drunkard, my sense of coordination was low and I was somewhat smiling unknowingly with an utter loss for words. I turned back one last time, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I failed, the rain was too thick and the windows had blinds so it's almost impossible to see her one last time. With a heavy heart, I left for home.

So that's basically it for the things that happened yesterday, and probably the next time I will see her is during graduation. By then, I will just tell her everything that has been in my heart for over a year, because I feel that she needs to know about it.

Up till now

Up till now,

I have been missing in action for a few months, because quite a number of things have been going on in my life. And so I will start with the 5th Semester's exams that ended about 3 months back. I tried preparing early for the semester exams, with me preparing up to 2 weeks for just one particular module. The exam papers were fairly okay, just this one particular module, which killed almost everyone. The stuff that came out during the paper wasn't really what we all prepared for. Nevertheless, I managed to get a grade 'B' for the paper, and my grade point average (GPA) for that particular semester was 3.568 out of 4. After the semester exams, was a 6 week long vacation in which I wanted badly because I felt that I worked pretty hard for the semester exams.

During the 6 weeks, I had to return to school for almost everyday because I'm currently working with a few friends for this 'Final Year Project'. This project was considered the most complicating and tedious project up to date, as we had to do many troubleshooting and testing, and with the new parts and modifications to the machine, it was even time consuming. For me, I was tasked by the group leader to create a scoreboard using a number of Light Emitting Diodes (LEDs). I tested out the circuit on a simulation software on my computer, worked out just fine. However I did not get the result that I wanted, I really didn't know what to say about the failure.

Anyway the main point of this post is to share about this particular person that I set my eyes on for more than a year. I saw her in year 2, when she sat in front of me in during Engineering Maths lectures. Took no notice of her for the first few weeks, until she sat in front of me. She has a very, I would say a 'bubbly' personality with a bit of playfulness every now and then, and yes, she's Korean. Not that I only JUST like Korean girls, it's just that she has that particular charm in her in which is hard to find in other girls, in which got me very attracted. Feelings didn't really develop until this year, just that I rarely saw her in school. Until recently, I saw her again, and I swear my heart fluttered whenever I see her.

Today, I was told my the group leader to attend this talk for my final year project, I arrived 10 minutes before the talk started, and my stomach wasn't feeling so good as it was bloated with air. I texted my group leader as he was attending the briefing with me. As I was standing and just chilling there, I saw this guy who was her friend, and he looked like he was going to attend the talk too as he was standing and waiting outside the same place as I was. I ignored him and continued listening to my music. Minutes later, she came, and I swear I totally didn't expect her to appear in front of me. Anyway she did, and just when my stomach was about to feel better, it started churning, my heart started racing and I could obviously feel my feet sweating. The best part was that, even though she noticed my presence, she continued chatting with her friend, and she ended up standing less than a metre to my right, and yes, LESS THAN a bloody metre. I tried stealing glances of her every now and then as I was texting the group leader, but of course the glances became stares. Obviously I didn't stare at her when she was looking (that would make me a creeper, literally).

During the talk itself, I couldn't help but to just stare at her again and again. She smiled and laughed, and that just made me feel good because at least I know that the woman I love, is happy. I stayed throughout the talk, and I left with the group leader after she exited out of the lecture hall. I felt glad as I got to see her after quite some time, but at the same time I felt a little sad because it's one of the last few times I am going to see her before I graduate.

Throughout the whole day I couldn't stop thinking of her, her smile just kept flashing inside my head over and over again, and from time to time, I will break out into a weak smile, knowing that since she's happy and safe, I feel contented and happy for her. So yeah, poured everything out from my heart and time to get some sleep as it's 3am in the morning and I've got to go out tomorrow.

사랑해, 박소연씨

Justin.

Confessions

Okay shall use the blog to sort of pour out my thoughts for the past few days.

Have been gaming, a lot. I would say gaming with a fake identity online really has opened my eyes to how people care about you even if it's an online game. I was once friends with people from the opposite nation. But they never really talked to me a lot, until I decided to leave. That was when people starting messaging me asking me why I left, and loads of questions with the word 'why'.

That was when I realized people don't really care about others until it's either too late, or when they are gone. After I left people started talking to me more often in game. I felt good as it still had people to talk to, the bad was that I could not get over the fact that people didn't care about each other and only wanted to just be the best.

This next segment will showcase the may reasons why I'm still single after 18.8 years of my life.

1. I'm not good looking (people say that personality counts the most. But I would say 99% of the people will look at appearances first before wanting/getting to know their personalities) I am no exception, just that I will not know that girl more if the girl's personality is shit.

2. I'm probably the most boring guy ever. My lifestyle is the most boring one ever. If I've got no school, I would just wake up, have brunch (or sometimes directly have lunch without breakfast). Then just game all the way, till dinner time. Sometimes an afternoon jog and workout at the fitness area near my house. Then after dinner, it's gaming again till I go to bed. Boring right?

3. I'm a poor guy (probably one of te most obvious reasons why girls don't like me). As much as I want a relationship (yes, I know I sound desperate for one), I know I will never be able to please her because I don't have the money, unless I've got a proper full time job. Anyway everyone around me knows that I've got no money. Unless the girl appreciates the time with me more than the monetary poccessions (impossible to find one these days)

These are the main 3 reasons, there's more, just that I'm too lazy to get them all out here.

Next thing I want to get it down here, is about caring for people. Why I decided to care about people more? Because I feel that people have to be happy, by being happy, can lead to many more happy things happening to them. If they are not happy and can't help themselves, then I will step in and talk to them. But what about myself? I'm not really happy with myself to be very honest.

I get jealous all the time. Jealously is a very big sin, and I will sometimes ask for forgiveness if my jealousy gets the better of me. Now you will ask, what am I jealous about? (I think I will put them down like in a list)

1. Jealous of health

I have 1001 health problems, and the main problem is my stomach (I think the previous posts will tell you more about my stomach problems). I am jealous on how others can eat whatever the hell they want, and here I am only able to eat that few foods because of some effects of those foods towards my stomach.

2. Jealous of looks

I was never handsome, and I guess I will never be. My stomach problems has caused me to slim down to a person that is only skin and bones. Furthermore, I am as weak as a kitten, and I'm pretty sure I will do terrible for my fitness test that is coming up in a month's time. So right now I look like some pathetic idiot that only sits at home playing computer games and spazzing to Korean celeb crushes. Yup, that's who I am. 

All in all, I know I am a very unhappy person. But that knowing that there are many more unfortunate people out there that is still fighting on, I know that I still must fight on like them. I promised myself I will stop feeling sad and jealous and move on with life with a much more positive attitude. 

Justin.

Day 3, 4 and 5 of no computer

Day 3 of no computer

I woke up around lunchtime, had some quick lunch, I think I ate fish porridge. So most of the time I was slacking in my bed, watching Korean variety shows and blasting and rocking to my favourite songs. Took a long nap till dinner time, ate dinner while listening to music. After dinner, I played 3 hours of Solitaire on my phone till my phone ran out of battery, applied some moisturizing cream on my fingers as the skin was cracking and bleeding a little. Watched some dota 2 matches with my brother's phone. Fell asleep early since I was quite bored. Looks like the boredom is starting to set in, you could say that that's the "withdrawal symptoms" of no computer gaming for 3 days.

Day 4 of no computer

At the night of day 3, was feeling giddy and sick, so I decided to go for an early morning run on the morning of day 4. Woke up around 7:50am, slacked in bed till around 9am. Seeing that the weather was about to freak out, I quickly headed downstairs for a run. For some reason my legs felt really heavy when running as compared to the previous times. Maybe it's because I was running early in the morning with an empty stomach? Anyway I headed back home safely in one piece. Had some breakfast but didn't finish it because I had not much of an appetite. Watch Korean variety shows and went to sleep for about 2 hours, woke up and talked to my mum. That night I watched some news, in fact I was so bored, I actually watch news broadcasts of 4 different languages! Had a late night snack before going to bed. Tossed and turned as I was unable to fall asleep, I listened to music instead. Around 2am, I managed to fall asleep with much difficulty, since the weather wasn't helping. 

Day 5 of no computer

Dragged my feet to school, had an interesting lab session involving sensors and instruments. Had some trouble with the instruments as it was properly connected but it gave weird readings, the readings sort of freaked out until the lab technician attached the digital multimeter to it. The next lesson was a tutorial session, the lecturer went through 4 long questions involving the formulas for the different kind of sensors. I was pretty much starving throughout the tutorial session, so I tried my best to concentrate in class while my stomach was happily rumbling away. Haha. Went home after lunch, listened to music and took a nap.

Laptop freaked out

So what happened recently was that my laptop decided to freak out, the wireless driver software decided to play hide and seek with me, disappearing and reappearing, causing my wireless adapter to malfunction intermittently. I tired reinstalling the driver software a few times, but it always failed to work the moment I rebooted my com.

So I made a choice, which was to carry out the reformat process to my com. After school, I headed home and went to back up all my data to an external hard disk. I proceeded with the reformat which took about 30 minutes. After reformatting I quickly downloaded all the essential software, some games, and transferred my documents over.

The wireless driver still had problems, and my laptop overheated twice on the same day. So I made up my mind to send my laptop for the hardware repair. 

Day 1 of no computer.

Came back home after sending my laptop for repair. Had lunch, and slept for 3 hours from 3pm to 6pm, had dinner, watched Seananners's videos, blasted music and laid at my bed till I fell asleep. 

Day 2 of no computer.

Tried to wake up as late as possible, close to lunch time, had some noodles and a cup of hot drink for breakfast, slacked around, read e-books with my phone. Had fish porridge for lunch, laid in bed for 4 hours, then went out for dinner. Had some steamboat and KFC after that. Starting to feel really bored without my com, I think I have to endure it for another week or so. No idea how I can endure that long, but I will try my best to carry on with life.

Company attachment (Industry Training Program)

It's been about 2 weeks since I started my Industry Training Program, and I could say that it's a pretty good experience for me. Firstly it's because this is my first time being attached to a company outside and also I am looking forward to doing the jobs/tasks that are assigned to me.

I was posted to this company at Funan Digitalife Mall, called 'Laptop General Hospital'. For the first week I was asked to sort out laptop parts for stock taking. The first day that I arrived, the stock taking was about 90 - 95% completed, so we only took about 2-3 hours to finish the rest. It was pretty tedious because some parts were very minute and fragile especially when it comes to parts like RAM, or laptop hinges. Nevertheless, we completed it after much frustration and difficulty. I made friends with 3 other interns that were attached to the same company as I was. I can say that they are a bunch of cool people, we talk and joke around during lunch time and also during work times when we bump into each other. Since 2 of the interns are working under the admin section, they get to leave at 6:30 pm. I am working under the customer service section (front desk reception), so my working hours are longer than the admins (around 10 hours of work including 1 hour of lunch and break time).

Nevertheless after working for 1 week and 4 days, I actually do enjoy myself because being at the front desk, I get to see people from all walks of life, and also their different personalities. There was this kind customer with his friend that came to book in their laptop as it was experiencing some charging and power adapter issues. After serving them, his friend said to me," Justin, your service is really very good! Your boss should really promote you! It's really difficult to see this kind of service nowadays" After hearing this, I felt really good and also a little embarrassed. It is because this is the first time a customer ever praised me for good service. However I am still a Polytechnic student on company attachment, therefore there won't be any promotion for me. I replied to him telling him that I am still a Polytechnic student and promotions won't be needed for me. But to my astonishment, he told me it's okay and told me that I still deserved a promotion.

I couldn't stop smiling after hearing it, it also means that I should keep up with that standard of customer service.

There was another similar customer, he came with his family. The 2 kids were a little playful and kept roaming around the workplace. He joked around about using Medisave (Medisave is a scheme in Singapore that is applicable to hospital patients), because my workplace's name is called Laptop General Hospital. He was an awesome man because he put faith into us, and even though the time taken for repair and diagnostics for his laptop will take around 5-7 working days.

*will update the rest at home, did this post at work!*

Vacations!

Okay back here once more, and guess what? It's vacation! 3 weeks of well deserved rest I think? :)

Anyway I would most likely spend the entire holidays just playing com and more com, since I doubt anyway will ask me out to relax or something. Have been playing lots of minecraft, dota 2 and not forgetting, maple. I seem to be making pretty good progress in maple, increasing my damage range with my very limited funds.

In minecraft, I have been designing different mob grinders, and comparing the output I get, from there I will choose the one with the best output, and start implementing them with the rest of my worlds.

As for my love life, it has changed, for the worst. At first I thought I really stood a chance, but looking at her, I don't think she will even have the same amount of feelings I have for her. What do I plan to do? Just let her slowly forget me, maybe I can go looking for a new one? I don't know. For me, I usually will like a girl if she likes me back. Because I have been hurt countless times, so I will definitely appreciate that certain someone if she appreciates me in the first place. I think my computer is my best friend now, a place to vent my frustrations, get entertained, and also enjoy nice music.

Anyway I went to dad's company for an open house today with my mum, saw many of dads colleagues, and also how his company has changed over the years.
I got to eat delicious food and not forgetting, McDonalds! :) Saw this cute girl at the popcorn counter during the open house, she looked kinda cute and friendly. Oh well, hope she does well in her future endeavors.

Anyway shall stop here, 2:47 am, my eyes are closing soon. Nights :)

Signing Off.

Feeling down

I feel so absolutely down today. Couldn't concentrate in class, felt so miserable. Basically I think I'm like a nobody, I'm a failure at every single thing I do, I get ignored, I get friend zoned by girls, I'm not physically fit, I'm as weak as a kitten, I'm always falling sick, I get mocked by other players online. I just wanna lie down on my bed, and just hide away from this cruel world.

Since I'm so insignificant, if I disappear, no one will know right? Yeah, maybe I should just run away from everything, like a coward I always am.

Sick

Back here after so long, about more than 3 weeks. Loads of things happened recently, school's started and currently heading into the midst of the 3rd week in school. I fell sick about 3 times in one month, and guess what? They are all related. It all started when I came back from Hokkaido. The trip to Hokkaido was unforgettable, I almost teared up when I reviewed the photos, I miss that place alot *teary*, and yes although my family brought back home stuff, I still miss that place, and I SWEAR, I will go back there somewhere in the future. 

Anyway, after about a week when I came back from vacation, my dad got stomach flu, and 2 days later, my mum and I both got the virus. So I suffered pretty badly, I puked and got diarrhoea, my appetite destroyed, and had a few sleepless nights. So yeah, managed to recover from it, BUT weeks later disaster struck again. After a delicious meal at Irodori Japanese Restaurant, I had a bad stomach upset that night. My stomach felt like its on fire, then there was alot of gas inside, for the whole 3 hours, I was roaming around the house, keeping myself occupied and trying to expel as much gas as I could. Ate medicine the next morning, felt so much better. Last Monday, I almost "died" in class, had a terrible stomach upset, felt like puking so badly, stomach felt warm and churning upside down. Consulted a doctor, doc gave me probiotics and a few other medications. However for the whole week, the medications only helped a little. Therefore I just consulted the doctor again, doctor reassured me about my condition, saying that I will be better within a few days.

So yeah, I am just writing this post, just hoping my stomach doesn't cause me problems again.

Signing off.

Turned 18!

Finally turned 18 years old after so so so long :) I'm an adult now so I can do many things that I want to. The best part, I can now get my driving license. :) School's starting in a few hour's time, so I guess I have to get some proper sleep before I head on for another boring semester of lessons and lectures.

Signing off.

End of holidays, mixed emotions

Well, it's nearly the end of my holidays. And it's also gonna be my birthday very soon. 3 more days to be exact.

Well what did I do during the holidays? The most memorable one, was the trip to Japan. It's been about 3 weeks since I came back to Singapore, and I'm missing Japan really really badly. I wish I could go back there, but its too expensive. Well, I will really miss that place. The people, the food, the services, and most importantly, the accommodation. The accommodation was really good, even though we changed hotels almost every day (except for the 2nd last and last day)
Compared to Singapore, Japan really has 5 stars when it comes to services and accommodation.

Now for my love life. No changes. That's right, no changes. I lost even more hope compared to before. People that I talk to, stopped talking to me, like permanently. I feel like some retard whenever I text/call/tweet/whatsapp someone, and he/she doesn't reply. So I gave up, I might as well don't call or text since people don't bother replying to me. I guess I'm too insignificant to them.

People ask me why don't I chase girls?Well firstly I don't have the looks, nor the physical build that girls want. I also don't have the intelligence either. What's the use if I have a heart? Most girls go for guys with good looks and good personality. In the end, every single girl will avoid me like plague.
The good part of that is that I can stay positive, knowing that I will be alone forever, and also knowing that I'm not good enough for any girl.

Sometimes I think about the happy things couples do together. Some examples like heading out together for vacation, for movies, for nice meals and musicals, sitting under the night sky and looking at beautiful stars. Some of them I really yearn for, for a long long time.

I have very little friends, the amount of best friends (friends whom I can really trust), I can count them by using my own fingers. I was never popular and I will never be.

I suck at almost everything that I do. Be it studying, I can never be as good as those top students in which I yearn for the same results as them. I can never be good at sports, I get tired really easily, I suck at maintaining my stamina. I get owned in games, be it CABAL online or dota 2 or Command and Conquer.

Maybe I should just stay at home everyday, and just play Minecraft, and keep playing till I just collapse and die at home for good, and no one will know about my death, since I'm so insignificant.

Signing off.

Jung Nicole - LOST

Alright so as promised I will share about the music video that I was talking about the previous post. Overall this music video I give an 8.9 out of 10. Well, nothing is perfect right? This music video is very meaningful to me because it basically portrayed the kind of life that I really yearn. A happy couple, enjoying things together like cooking, watching TV, and also stuff like leaning the head on the lap of the other person.

After watching that music video for the first time, it really drove me to tears. The music and video, just matched perfectly and I was just touched and mesmerised by it. I was jealous, because I always wondered why can't I be happy just like them? Instead, all I get is people ignoring me when I want to talk to someone about my problems. Whenever I see couples happily walking hand in hand, it just lights up the fire of jealousy more and more.

Anyway it's pointless trying to describe the entire bunch of emotions inside me, I shall post some pictures of the music video instead. (Terribly sorry as it was poorly edited, I just simply screen shot the video that's all)

Both of them look really sweet ain't they? I guess that will never happen to me.
Signing off.

School holidays

Okay erm so I've not been updating this blog for quite some time due to my school assignments, exams and stuff. But yeah it's all finally over, it's the school holidays and I'm now getting some rest.

Anyway I wanted to share about what the things I want to do with my future girlfriend. I suddenly just wanted to create this blog post because of a teaser video that I saw this morning when I woke up. It's a song by my favourite Korean girl group currently, KARA. That teaser is one of the yet-to-be released Japanese songs, if I'm not wrong, it's called LOST. It features Jung Jinwoon from the talented group, 2AM. In that teaser, both of them were very sweet lovers and did many things together as a couple. I was jealous of course.

There are many many things I want to do with my future girlfriend, I made a list:
1: Have a nice steamboat meal with her
2: Hold her tight when she's sad
3: Make her laugh with my silly and lame jokes
4: Take selcas together
5: Watching her go to sleep while her head is lying on my lap
6: Have a small picnic
7: Give her back hugs

The list can just go on and on, but oh well. I guess with my current life, I think that any single girl will think that I'm just another boring and average sucker.

Back here (again)

Okay it's been more than a month since I've last posted something. I've been more active on twitter and Facebook. Today is the last day of my school holidays :\ and that time really flew by like as if a lightning just struck and disappeared. I think I shall share about what I did during the holidays.

The first week was like a much awaited freedom. The exams just ended and that most of us were just glad to have a good night's sleep after a long while. As for me, I went back home, had a very long chat over Skype, and basically gamed till very late while chatting. The daily routine's were almost the same: Wake up, breakfast, computer, chat, lunch, game, nap, exercise, Facebook/twitter, exercise, dinner, game, sleep. That was all I did during the first week, maybe I didn't include the days when I had to go back to school for Wing Chun training?

The second week I went out a few times, one was a gathering at Chew Bok's Aunt's stall. Janson had tuition that day, so he went by himself. Bok had something else to take care of, so he also went by himself. As for me, I went to Axel's house first. I showed him 3-4 episodes of WoDotA, and of course we laughed alot at other people's poor control of their character (a bit sadist, but who cares? :P) I played abit of L4D2, and 1 game of dota. Bok texted me around 5+ to go there, so me and Axel left house and look an ultra long bus ride and alighted opposite or Roxy Square. In fact, Janson reached way earlier than us, so he was playing his DS, about 20 minutes later, Bok reached and we all ordered loads of delicious food :) I ate beef fried rice with extra beef (was the ultimate) We chatted alot while playing a card game, in which it involves ancient Chinese generals. We left about 10pm, and we chatted alot on the bus, pouring out stuff that has happened to us recently, and also how sucky our lives have been.

I also went for my CCA camp, really fun, got to know many people, and also opened my eyes to people's true characters and personality. I learned that an ugly character destroys a beautiful face, and also never to judge a person without knowing him/her better. It was during an incident in the camp that I got pissed with a girl, but I share leave that for another post. My class chalet was directly after the camp. I reached the chalet around 8+, my body was totally lethargic, the camp drained all my energy. So I went to sleep for a short while, then I went to eat some satay, stingrays, some beef and squids. Tried some Vodka because my friend offered me some, stomach didn't feel well after that so I decided to go home. Apparently there were some funny stuff that happened during the chalet itself, but again, will share this on another post.

There were many things that happened on the third week of the holiday, but it's too long to be placed into words on this post (maybe because I'm too lazy?)

It's 12:36am now, I shall try and get some sleep right now, first day of the new school term always sucks (trust me :D) Will end this long(?) post now, if you want to follow me on twitter, just leave a message in the chatbox! :)

Signing off :)

An awesome dream + Namra's 18th Birthday :)

As for the dream part, I remembered 2 different dreams, the first one involves an idol, the second one was pretty brief.

For the first dream, I recalled myself sitting at some concert hall, in which people where entering from all entrances. There were 2 empty seats to my left and 1 to my right. The concert started with magnificent performances. Moments later, someone came and sat on the seat to my left. When I turned my head, it was Uee from the group After School. She introduced herself, and I did the same too. After the concert ended, we both were told to go and stay somewhere.

Then I realized it was my friend's house. The house was a magnificent mansion, with the first level as a viewing room for the nearby seaside scenery. His entire family came and greeted us, and everyone thought that Uee and I were a couple (LOL).

After dinner, Uee and I toured around the house, at the same time, we got to know more about each other. She shared with me her sad moments in her life, and also about her own family. Later that night, my friend's family gathered and shared with us a legend about a scary beast called the spiritbreaker. The beast's roars could be heard from afar, and that anyone could be the target. When everyone was asleep, I went downstairs to the first floor to grab some night snacks, I saw Uee looking out to the window. I went to have a small chat with her, also sharing some of my snacks too.

That very moment, a loud fearsome roar was heard in the distance. The roar shook the ground beneath us, and at the same time, striking fear into both of our hearts. Seconds after the roar was heard, we heard another scream, a scream that was cut short.

Uee was scared, so we both went upstairs to investigate. What we saw horrified us, it was the dead bodies of my friend and his family members. At that moment, we knew we were in trouble, deep deep trouble. Immediately, I held her hand, and made a mad dash for the exit. Towards the exit, we heard the terrifying roar again. Uee started crying, while we were trying to run as fast as we could towards the beach. The spiritbreaker charged right straight at us but stopped when it saw that we were near the sea, within seconds, it retreated and we saw it charging away from us.

Due to the fright and exhaustion, she fainted into my arms. So I just sat down on the beach, and Uee was leaning on my right shoulder. When she woke up, she weakly said 'thank you' in korean, and kissed me on the cheek.

That very moment I awoke in another dream, I recalled hearing gun fire and sounds of bombing. I recalled holding a rifle, fighting alongside with my comrades. I awakened back into my first dream within seconds (kinda sounds a bit like inception LOL). By that time Uee was already awake. I chatted with her for a little longer, that was when I woke back up into reality. Oh well I actually wished dreams like that will never end, and that I will never wake up from those dreams. 유이누나, 사랑해요!!! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Anyway yesterday was the eve of Namra's 18th birthday. We all went to Clementi Mall to have lunch, then we headed to Bugis to catch a movie, but unfortunately the tickets were too expensive, so we tried going to Iluma instead, however, the prices were the same since it was an eve of a public holiday. The others bought Koi to drink, while I chatted with Leon while the rest were drinking. We headed to Bugis Street level 2 after that, my back was aching from all the walking, so was Leon's. We decided to go home since there was nothing more to do. On the train, we chatted alot more. Namra had to change lines so she had to alight earlier. I gave her a birthday hug, then Leon, TK, Jonathan and I started talking about DOTA 2 after she alighted :D

Reached back home half dead due to my aching back, but felt really happy that day :) I really do hope I can go out and celebrate birthdays with my friends more often, in which I won't feel so bored at home :)

Got school tomorrow, gotta stop here!
Nights! :)