Vacations!

Okay back here once more, and guess what? It's vacation! 3 weeks of well deserved rest I think? :)

Anyway I would most likely spend the entire holidays just playing com and more com, since I doubt anyway will ask me out to relax or something. Have been playing lots of minecraft, dota 2 and not forgetting, maple. I seem to be making pretty good progress in maple, increasing my damage range with my very limited funds.

In minecraft, I have been designing different mob grinders, and comparing the output I get, from there I will choose the one with the best output, and start implementing them with the rest of my worlds.

As for my love life, it has changed, for the worst. At first I thought I really stood a chance, but looking at her, I don't think she will even have the same amount of feelings I have for her. What do I plan to do? Just let her slowly forget me, maybe I can go looking for a new one? I don't know. For me, I usually will like a girl if she likes me back. Because I have been hurt countless times, so I will definitely appreciate that certain someone if she appreciates me in the first place. I think my computer is my best friend now, a place to vent my frustrations, get entertained, and also enjoy nice music.

Anyway I went to dad's company for an open house today with my mum, saw many of dads colleagues, and also how his company has changed over the years.
I got to eat delicious food and not forgetting, McDonalds! :) Saw this cute girl at the popcorn counter during the open house, she looked kinda cute and friendly. Oh well, hope she does well in her future endeavors.

Anyway shall stop here, 2:47 am, my eyes are closing soon. Nights :)

Signing Off.

Feeling down

I feel so absolutely down today. Couldn't concentrate in class, felt so miserable. Basically I think I'm like a nobody, I'm a failure at every single thing I do, I get ignored, I get friend zoned by girls, I'm not physically fit, I'm as weak as a kitten, I'm always falling sick, I get mocked by other players online. I just wanna lie down on my bed, and just hide away from this cruel world.

Since I'm so insignificant, if I disappear, no one will know right? Yeah, maybe I should just run away from everything, like a coward I always am.

Sick

Back here after so long, about more than 3 weeks. Loads of things happened recently, school's started and currently heading into the midst of the 3rd week in school. I fell sick about 3 times in one month, and guess what? They are all related. It all started when I came back from Hokkaido. The trip to Hokkaido was unforgettable, I almost teared up when I reviewed the photos, I miss that place alot *teary*, and yes although my family brought back home stuff, I still miss that place, and I SWEAR, I will go back there somewhere in the future. 

Anyway, after about a week when I came back from vacation, my dad got stomach flu, and 2 days later, my mum and I both got the virus. So I suffered pretty badly, I puked and got diarrhoea, my appetite destroyed, and had a few sleepless nights. So yeah, managed to recover from it, BUT weeks later disaster struck again. After a delicious meal at Irodori Japanese Restaurant, I had a bad stomach upset that night. My stomach felt like its on fire, then there was alot of gas inside, for the whole 3 hours, I was roaming around the house, keeping myself occupied and trying to expel as much gas as I could. Ate medicine the next morning, felt so much better. Last Monday, I almost "died" in class, had a terrible stomach upset, felt like puking so badly, stomach felt warm and churning upside down. Consulted a doctor, doc gave me probiotics and a few other medications. However for the whole week, the medications only helped a little. Therefore I just consulted the doctor again, doctor reassured me about my condition, saying that I will be better within a few days.

So yeah, I am just writing this post, just hoping my stomach doesn't cause me problems again.

Signing off.

Turned 18!

Finally turned 18 years old after so so so long :) I'm an adult now so I can do many things that I want to. The best part, I can now get my driving license. :) School's starting in a few hour's time, so I guess I have to get some proper sleep before I head on for another boring semester of lessons and lectures.

Signing off.

End of holidays, mixed emotions

Well, it's nearly the end of my holidays. And it's also gonna be my birthday very soon. 3 more days to be exact.

Well what did I do during the holidays? The most memorable one, was the trip to Japan. It's been about 3 weeks since I came back to Singapore, and I'm missing Japan really really badly. I wish I could go back there, but its too expensive. Well, I will really miss that place. The people, the food, the services, and most importantly, the accommodation. The accommodation was really good, even though we changed hotels almost every day (except for the 2nd last and last day)
Compared to Singapore, Japan really has 5 stars when it comes to services and accommodation.

Now for my love life. No changes. That's right, no changes. I lost even more hope compared to before. People that I talk to, stopped talking to me, like permanently. I feel like some retard whenever I text/call/tweet/whatsapp someone, and he/she doesn't reply. So I gave up, I might as well don't call or text since people don't bother replying to me. I guess I'm too insignificant to them.

People ask me why don't I chase girls?Well firstly I don't have the looks, nor the physical build that girls want. I also don't have the intelligence either. What's the use if I have a heart? Most girls go for guys with good looks and good personality. In the end, every single girl will avoid me like plague.
The good part of that is that I can stay positive, knowing that I will be alone forever, and also knowing that I'm not good enough for any girl.

Sometimes I think about the happy things couples do together. Some examples like heading out together for vacation, for movies, for nice meals and musicals, sitting under the night sky and looking at beautiful stars. Some of them I really yearn for, for a long long time.

I have very little friends, the amount of best friends (friends whom I can really trust), I can count them by using my own fingers. I was never popular and I will never be.

I suck at almost everything that I do. Be it studying, I can never be as good as those top students in which I yearn for the same results as them. I can never be good at sports, I get tired really easily, I suck at maintaining my stamina. I get owned in games, be it CABAL online or dota 2 or Command and Conquer.

Maybe I should just stay at home everyday, and just play Minecraft, and keep playing till I just collapse and die at home for good, and no one will know about my death, since I'm so insignificant.

Signing off.

Jung Nicole - LOST

Alright so as promised I will share about the music video that I was talking about the previous post. Overall this music video I give an 8.9 out of 10. Well, nothing is perfect right? This music video is very meaningful to me because it basically portrayed the kind of life that I really yearn. A happy couple, enjoying things together like cooking, watching TV, and also stuff like leaning the head on the lap of the other person.

After watching that music video for the first time, it really drove me to tears. The music and video, just matched perfectly and I was just touched and mesmerised by it. I was jealous, because I always wondered why can't I be happy just like them? Instead, all I get is people ignoring me when I want to talk to someone about my problems. Whenever I see couples happily walking hand in hand, it just lights up the fire of jealousy more and more.

Anyway it's pointless trying to describe the entire bunch of emotions inside me, I shall post some pictures of the music video instead. (Terribly sorry as it was poorly edited, I just simply screen shot the video that's all)

Both of them look really sweet ain't they? I guess that will never happen to me.
Signing off.

School holidays

Okay erm so I've not been updating this blog for quite some time due to my school assignments, exams and stuff. But yeah it's all finally over, it's the school holidays and I'm now getting some rest.

Anyway I wanted to share about what the things I want to do with my future girlfriend. I suddenly just wanted to create this blog post because of a teaser video that I saw this morning when I woke up. It's a song by my favourite Korean girl group currently, KARA. That teaser is one of the yet-to-be released Japanese songs, if I'm not wrong, it's called LOST. It features Jung Jinwoon from the talented group, 2AM. In that teaser, both of them were very sweet lovers and did many things together as a couple. I was jealous of course.

There are many many things I want to do with my future girlfriend, I made a list:
1: Have a nice steamboat meal with her
2: Hold her tight when she's sad
3: Make her laugh with my silly and lame jokes
4: Take selcas together
5: Watching her go to sleep while her head is lying on my lap
6: Have a small picnic
7: Give her back hugs

The list can just go on and on, but oh well. I guess with my current life, I think that any single girl will think that I'm just another boring and average sucker.

Back here (again)

Okay it's been more than a month since I've last posted something. I've been more active on twitter and Facebook. Today is the last day of my school holidays :\ and that time really flew by like as if a lightning just struck and disappeared. I think I shall share about what I did during the holidays.

The first week was like a much awaited freedom. The exams just ended and that most of us were just glad to have a good night's sleep after a long while. As for me, I went back home, had a very long chat over Skype, and basically gamed till very late while chatting. The daily routine's were almost the same: Wake up, breakfast, computer, chat, lunch, game, nap, exercise, Facebook/twitter, exercise, dinner, game, sleep. That was all I did during the first week, maybe I didn't include the days when I had to go back to school for Wing Chun training?

The second week I went out a few times, one was a gathering at Chew Bok's Aunt's stall. Janson had tuition that day, so he went by himself. Bok had something else to take care of, so he also went by himself. As for me, I went to Axel's house first. I showed him 3-4 episodes of WoDotA, and of course we laughed alot at other people's poor control of their character (a bit sadist, but who cares? :P) I played abit of L4D2, and 1 game of dota. Bok texted me around 5+ to go there, so me and Axel left house and look an ultra long bus ride and alighted opposite or Roxy Square. In fact, Janson reached way earlier than us, so he was playing his DS, about 20 minutes later, Bok reached and we all ordered loads of delicious food :) I ate beef fried rice with extra beef (was the ultimate) We chatted alot while playing a card game, in which it involves ancient Chinese generals. We left about 10pm, and we chatted alot on the bus, pouring out stuff that has happened to us recently, and also how sucky our lives have been.

I also went for my CCA camp, really fun, got to know many people, and also opened my eyes to people's true characters and personality. I learned that an ugly character destroys a beautiful face, and also never to judge a person without knowing him/her better. It was during an incident in the camp that I got pissed with a girl, but I share leave that for another post. My class chalet was directly after the camp. I reached the chalet around 8+, my body was totally lethargic, the camp drained all my energy. So I went to sleep for a short while, then I went to eat some satay, stingrays, some beef and squids. Tried some Vodka because my friend offered me some, stomach didn't feel well after that so I decided to go home. Apparently there were some funny stuff that happened during the chalet itself, but again, will share this on another post.

There were many things that happened on the third week of the holiday, but it's too long to be placed into words on this post (maybe because I'm too lazy?)

It's 12:36am now, I shall try and get some sleep right now, first day of the new school term always sucks (trust me :D) Will end this long(?) post now, if you want to follow me on twitter, just leave a message in the chatbox! :)

Signing off :)

An awesome dream + Namra's 18th Birthday :)

As for the dream part, I remembered 2 different dreams, the first one involves an idol, the second one was pretty brief.

For the first dream, I recalled myself sitting at some concert hall, in which people where entering from all entrances. There were 2 empty seats to my left and 1 to my right. The concert started with magnificent performances. Moments later, someone came and sat on the seat to my left. When I turned my head, it was Uee from the group After School. She introduced herself, and I did the same too. After the concert ended, we both were told to go and stay somewhere.

Then I realized it was my friend's house. The house was a magnificent mansion, with the first level as a viewing room for the nearby seaside scenery. His entire family came and greeted us, and everyone thought that Uee and I were a couple (LOL).

After dinner, Uee and I toured around the house, at the same time, we got to know more about each other. She shared with me her sad moments in her life, and also about her own family. Later that night, my friend's family gathered and shared with us a legend about a scary beast called the spiritbreaker. The beast's roars could be heard from afar, and that anyone could be the target. When everyone was asleep, I went downstairs to the first floor to grab some night snacks, I saw Uee looking out to the window. I went to have a small chat with her, also sharing some of my snacks too.

That very moment, a loud fearsome roar was heard in the distance. The roar shook the ground beneath us, and at the same time, striking fear into both of our hearts. Seconds after the roar was heard, we heard another scream, a scream that was cut short.

Uee was scared, so we both went upstairs to investigate. What we saw horrified us, it was the dead bodies of my friend and his family members. At that moment, we knew we were in trouble, deep deep trouble. Immediately, I held her hand, and made a mad dash for the exit. Towards the exit, we heard the terrifying roar again. Uee started crying, while we were trying to run as fast as we could towards the beach. The spiritbreaker charged right straight at us but stopped when it saw that we were near the sea, within seconds, it retreated and we saw it charging away from us.

Due to the fright and exhaustion, she fainted into my arms. So I just sat down on the beach, and Uee was leaning on my right shoulder. When she woke up, she weakly said 'thank you' in korean, and kissed me on the cheek.

That very moment I awoke in another dream, I recalled hearing gun fire and sounds of bombing. I recalled holding a rifle, fighting alongside with my comrades. I awakened back into my first dream within seconds (kinda sounds a bit like inception LOL). By that time Uee was already awake. I chatted with her for a little longer, that was when I woke back up into reality. Oh well I actually wished dreams like that will never end, and that I will never wake up from those dreams. 유이누나, 사랑해요!!! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Anyway yesterday was the eve of Namra's 18th birthday. We all went to Clementi Mall to have lunch, then we headed to Bugis to catch a movie, but unfortunately the tickets were too expensive, so we tried going to Iluma instead, however, the prices were the same since it was an eve of a public holiday. The others bought Koi to drink, while I chatted with Leon while the rest were drinking. We headed to Bugis Street level 2 after that, my back was aching from all the walking, so was Leon's. We decided to go home since there was nothing more to do. On the train, we chatted alot more. Namra had to change lines so she had to alight earlier. I gave her a birthday hug, then Leon, TK, Jonathan and I started talking about DOTA 2 after she alighted :D

Reached back home half dead due to my aching back, but felt really happy that day :) I really do hope I can go out and celebrate birthdays with my friends more often, in which I won't feel so bored at home :)

Got school tomorrow, gotta stop here!
Nights! :)

Back to school

Alright, I'm finally back here after a decade (LOL), I think I last posted since, I forgot, 2 months+?
To start things off, I'm in towards the end of the 3 week in my 2nd academic year in Poly, and I think I am actually getting the hang of stuff pretty quickly. Especially the fact that I am starting to listen more during lectures, and actually finishing my tutorial questions before the tutorial class. The downside about my new academic year? THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN MY CLASS. YES, LITERALLY ZERO GIRLS, from 4 to 2 to ZERO. Oh well, at least I still have all my friends around me. I met up with Tong Shen after the first day of school. It was the start of year 1 for him, and year 2 for me. The funny thing was that we are both born in the same year (1994) , but the fact that I am 1 academic year ahead of him seems a little weird. Nevertheless, we both met up over a meal and chatted for over an hour.

My classmate recently gave me an awesome game, a game in which I have waited months for it. Defense of The Ancients 2, a game with awesome graphics. However as much as I wanted that game, I sort of regretted getting it, because of not playing for months before, I got owned, literally. So I changed my games from time to time, like playing CABAL online, or minecraft as alternatives to playing DOTA.

Last week was the CCA showcase in which every CCA in the school will display their CCA in booths to attract year 1's to join their CCA. I went to help out with the booth management for all 3 days, and I didn't regret helping out. I could say it was a totally new experience for me. I had never done stuff like giving out flyers, or advertising my CCA to other people I didn't know. I had bad experiences in the past but this time round, this CCA showcase has completely changed my mindset about doing these kind of stuffs. In fact if there was another showcase like this in the future, I would volunteer myself without and hesitation. Another good thing is that, there were actually more girls that signed up compared to last year. At the beginning, there were about 8-9 of them, in which they disappeared after a year. So seeing more of them sign up is good because my CCA (Wing Chun), is actually a female martial art, in which is designed for females to protect themselves. Ironically all of the current members are males.

As for my lessons now, the lecture styles are very different compared to last year. We used to attend lectures with 2 classes combined, and 1 lecturer teaching us. Now the lectures are conducted in a large lecture hall, with about 4-5 classes combined into 1. However, I don't like the fact in which people make noise in the lecture hall. I find it quite irritating when I am trying to listen. Oh well, I can't change anything because I am not the module director nor the principal. However during one of the lectures, my classmate Leon, started saying some things in which I totally cracked up after hearing them. The lecturer said this: "whatever sound you make or say, will come out though the output as sound if there is an output such as a speaker attached to it" After the lecturer said that, Leon went," You don't say?" I totally cracked up after he said that sentence.

Just yesterday, I finish watching this really awesome drama, in which I really think there should be a sequel to it. It's a Korean drama called My GirlFriend is a nine-tailed Fox. The last episode was really touching, I almost cried when it ended. But in the end, I didn't cry but there tears in my eyes. It was a small reversal in the end, but it was touching enough to bring tears into my eyes. Here's the link for more info about this drama :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Girlfriend_Is_a_Nine-Tailed_Fox

Back at Fairfield Secondary

I called Shen on the way to the secondary school, since I couldn't just enter the school just like that, and of course the guard will catch me with my long hair. I met Shen at the front gate, and we entered. Apparently there was photo taking today, so there were many students near the driveway towards the exit of the front gate.

When I walked in, many students started staring at me, I guess its be because of my long hair(?). Me and Shen went to the CCA block and I met up with my juniors whom I took them for more than a year. Of course they still remembered me, except they took some time to recognize me since I had my hair "altered" to 3 times longer since secondary school. There was a muster parade that day. Shen became a cadet lieutenant around the end of last year, and he told me alot of stories about the many incidents in the unit and also among the teachers too. When I heard them, I was shocked because some of the problems were caused by the teachers themselves.

Anyway I helped out the Secondary 3 platoon, since they were the ones that were going to lead the unit very soon. Soon it was the parade itself, and guess what? The teachers even changed the basic structure of the parade, there was no standard in the marching, and there was no march past at all. I was completely at a loss for words. The teachers completely omitted the basic structure which was stated clearly by the HQ that it was not supposed to be changed or omitted in anyway. Oh well, I can't do anything since I am only a senior with no more rank, unless I got for the cadet officer course.

After the parade, I thought Ji Hao and Adli some of my PDS skills (didn't go rusty since it is still my passion even after I graduated). I left for home soon after. I felt really happy since I was openly welcomed back by the unit even after 1 year of not helping out after graduating. But however I am not really happy with the changes made to the unit, and that the teachers also expects us to update them, but they themselves do not update us in the first place. Oh well, I hope that things will improve, and that I definitely do hope to see some changes the next time I come back to Fairfield NCC.

Liking someone

Liking someone is really tough. For me I have many experiences to share. When I like and confess to that girl, firstly the awkwardness when you confess, next is the moment she rejects you. The worse moments are the part after the entire event is over. For me I really dreaded the time when I was in Sec 2. Especially the time after I confessed to her. Shall not mention the name because of respect reasons.

The day after I confessed to her, I tried texting her, and saying that I was sorry. She didn't reply me. At school I tried finding her but she sort of avoided me the moment she saw me. And the worst part was that her friends knew that I liked her. So I had to avoid her instead, because I knew what kind of embarrassment I will cause her if she ever sees me. Up till now, I think I haven't seen her for about 3 years, hopes she's doing fine.

Moving on with my life, now I myself ain't sure who to go for, as confused as before. Anyway I've got a talk tomorrow , have to sleep early. Nights :\

NUS open house

Today was the first day of the NUS open house. I was awakened by my mum telling me to get ready to go out to NUS. Honestly speaking, I felt really irritated because I just don't like getting awaken just to go somewhere the first thing in the morning. Oh well, anyway I ate my breakfast feeling pissed, and also tired because I didn't sleep well. I slept at around 3+, then I woke up at 4:10 because I had a bad stomachache.

So obviously I had to make a trip to the toilet. After that I quickly washed up and went to sleep. Anyway we reached the entrance of the NUS campus at around 11+. I was amazed the first thing I stepped into the campus.

I was seriously shocked at the number of girls that visited and also studying at NUS itself. Some of them were very beautiful, like really beautiful. Others had good figures, while some of them had both :D That somehow lightened my mood a little. We went into the exhibition hall where information for each course was available, and headed towards the Engineering sector. My parents wanted to find out more about the enrollment in the Bioengineering course. For me, I went to the Electrical and Computer Engineering course booth. I went to ask a lecturer some questions regarding the course requirements, curriculum timing and the styles of the lectures. I saw my friend there, surprisingly he was there with his brother too. His brother had just graduated from the Army, so it's a good time for him to look for a good course in Uni.

Was totally amazed at the girls there, wanted to ask for some of their contact numbers, but in the end I decided against it. Really couldn't forget my time there, and I didn't regret going there too.

Meet up

Today I met up with John and Kai, just to buy some ingredients for a BBQ session later that day. Me and John waited for Kai just outside Dempsey Road. While waiting, I saw a car suddenly went out of control, then the tire flew out from the back wheel, and the car was in a diagonal position in the middle of the road.

Anyway after meeting Kai, the three of us headed to Huber's Butchery and purchased some beef, pork and sausages. Kai paid for them since he was the main organizer. After we bought the meat, we wanted to take a cab back to his house. Kai then called for a taxi by calling the hotline for taxi booking, and all of us anticipated for the taxi's arrival. However we waited for more than 20 minutes, the taxi failed arrive. So we decided to walk to the main road and tried flagging for another cab. As expected, within seconds we managed to get a cab, and we headed to his house.

Around 4+, DH and Chris arrived at his house, and they both headed to the Gym. KL and JP arrived together soon after. I was pretty shocked when I first saw JP after more than a year. She has changed into a beautiful woman, I think she has became more womanly and graceful, therefore she caught my attention within seconds of seeing her. SM came just before KL and JP arrived. She's in JJC now, and she seems more healthier than before (she's always seems to have a cold or a bad flu whenever I saw her last time). Me and John went to start up the fire, JM, Tim, ZC and DC came together around 7. ZC and JM looked more beautiful now, maybe going to different schools changed them physically? That I'm not sure myself either. Anyway Che and NT came the latest, and that time the food was almost done so all of us started eating. Che looked more prettier than last time, especially when she lets her hair down. We ate the food, and chatted and laughed. Kai brought out the Liquor, KL and DC started drinking, soon after Chris, DH, ZC and RC joined in.

Some of us went up to his bedroom, and started chatting with the lights off-ed. I chatted with Chris and DH, and later with Tim, JP and DC. I walked out with DH around 1130, we chatted about our problems happening in our lives now, while waiting for the bus. DH missed his bus so I was able to chat with him abit more, before I boarded my bus and heading home.

Actually I wished I was more close with them, because I just seem to have this awkward feeling around some of them. Oh well, at least I managed to talk to JP abit more than last time, when I was like completely awkward around her. Same for DC, I did talk to her abit more compared to last time.

In all, today I was rather happy with the gathering, and I hope to meet them up more often in the future for such gatherings.

Sucky day

Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, my friend yesterday trolled me to the max, literally to the max. It all started in the morning when I was still sleeping. He texted me to ask me whether I was free to go out to play LAN with him at Clementi mall. I wasn't pissed when I woke up to the text message, in fact I was a little happy since I haven't met up with him for almost half a year. After I washed up and had breakfast, I called him to tell him to meet me at Long John Silvers.

I reached there about 2pm, went to have a small lunch. Then my friend called me to tell me to go to Plaza Singapura instead since his friend wanted to play LAN there. But since I didn't want to travel there (waste money), so I just told him that I was going back home and that I will play from home. Feeling down, I went to take a bus home. I boarded bus 196, when it stopped at New Town Secondary School, a group of female students boarded, I thought 2 of them looked beautiful to me. However, looks are definitely deceving, they started talking and laughing loudly, causing some of the commuters to look at them. When I had to alight, I pressed the bell once, but those girls started laughing loudly and even wanted to piss the bus driver off. So they started pressing the bell repeatedly, for about 7-8 times. I could tell the bus driver was pissed, since he started accelerating and decelerating the bus, causing them to lose their balance.

Those girls alighted the same stop as I did, and they started laughing about the bus driver's pissed look, shame on them seriously. When I reached back home, I went to shower, and just laid on my bed. Then my friend called again, saying that his friend had given him loads of problems so he decided not to play with him and wanted to meet me back at Clementi. However I was already at home so he asked me if I could go out again. Seriously? Who does he take me for? A fool? A retard? Someone which he thinks he can troll?

Anyway I felt sad the entire day, so I just went to rewatch coffee house again, just to cheer myself up. Mum came back home with Nasi Lemak for dinner, then she made a cup of coffee for me, really appreciated it. Went to watch episode 8 of Dream High 2, then went to rewatch We Got Married Leeteuk And Kang Sora episode 10 and 13. Chatted with my friend for awhile before going to sleep. Oh well it pretty sucked for me on that day, really hope things can improve soon.

Shall stop here for now, my mind is completely dry.

Seriously

I have been super frustrated the moment I came home from the airport. I was kind of grouchy and pissed at the same time, and it's one of the worst combos to have when you are playing DOTA. So basically I cursed and cursed repeatedly, to the point I just felt like quitting DOTA for good.

For the past 2 days I lost every single match that I played. In addition, it was the just after the exam period, so my gaming standard expectations was very high, but I just failed to meet those standards.

My feelings and mood wasn't really that good these few days. People around me don't actually know how I even feel right now. Sometimes I feel extremely angry and frustrated, and I have to vent it on something. I can't possibly vent in on my family or friends. Therefore, the only thing I can vent my frustration on is by gaming. But because of my standards rising from time to time, if I don't meet those standards, my frustration builds up more and more instead of releasing it. Sometimes I feel that I suck in everything because I just don't meet those basic expectations of mine. I shared this matter with my mum, asking her for her opinion whether what I'm doing is it good for me? Or is it just leading me to a path of destruction?

There's another matter that has been bothering and frustrating me since a very long time ago. Women, are like Queen in chess, in which protects the King, and that women can help clear a man's messed up life. My life, is really in a bloody mess right now, to the point I can just literally go crazy. I really want a girl, a girl that can understand how I feel, listen to my feelings and emotions. People around me are finding their other halves already, just like me. I'm really jealous sometimes, and I always ask myself this question from time to time, Why is it just not me? Why?

The word why appears very often in my head, as if it's bugging me to answer that question in my head. However, the answer will not be found that easily. So I guess I'm back to the same point in my messed up life, unable to advance, and most likely fall back down into that pit of destruction.

Exams over

My last paper ended minutes ago. How relieved I felt, when I handed up my paper and walked out of the exam hall. But of course, the feeling of uncertainty stil lurks somewhere inside my head. O well, I guess it's all over, and it's time to enjoy myself now :) right now I'm heading to the airport to join my friend. He's going to HK soon, so since my last paper was today, I decided to see him off at the airport, then head home.

Maybe I can join my friends on a game of DOTA today? I guess so. Anyway I'm in the train right now, so I shall stop blogging now since it's a little inconvenient to do so right now in the midst of many people.

:)

Last second of the final hour

With only a few hours left to the final exam paper, I just couldn't relax enough, I did the test papers with much uncertainty and with very little confidence. I just have to hope for the best, and make sure I don't have any information leakage from my brain tomorrow (lol)

Today I woke up, watched happy together 3 on my phone, tried doing tutorial again, but I got distracted by my friend who was chatting with me on skype. Ate lunch while watching We Got Married, I really missed watching the old couples like Seohyun <3 YongHwa and Victoria <3 Nichkhun. Sadly, the couples whom I follow their episodes, are coming to an end now. Super Junior's Leeteuk and Actress Kang Sora, and T-ara's Eunjung and actor Lee JangWoo, are all ending soon. To be honest, I actually wished that they really got married in real life. Oh well, back to reality. They did many memorable things together, and also shared the kisses in which was very time stopping when you watch them.

Anyway, with only 8 hours to my exam, I guess I will just sleep throughout the night, and head to school about 7am to do some brain refreshment formula readings.

Alright, shall stop here to get some sleep. Will blog again tomorrow :) Nights! :)

Morning

It's now after lunch time, just ate my chicken rice, now slacking on my bed. I didn't really sleep that well, slept at 2+ yesterday because I went to watch Happy Together 3. Got rudely awaken because of my brother playing Trouble Maker on his phone. The whistling sound woke me up, and I shut the door because I couldn't stand the sound and I was feeling mad. Ate my late breakfast, then I went to download 7 more episodes of coffee house. I insisted that that drama had to be in my com because I somehow felt that it will be taken down sooner or later.

Went to game a while for about 1 hour+ then I tried to re-download another childhood show that I remembered (but failed of course, the torrent refused to budge). So now I'm back slacking on my bed, because I'm feeling extremely lazy to do the test papers online. Shall blog later, I'm going to get some more rest.

Bad exam paper

It's been a day since my Engineering Maths paper. Speaking of my Engineering Maths paper, I was like uncertain for about 60% of the whole paper. When the paper ended, I was frustrated, just then my classmates wanted me to go to Redhill with them. However I was like pissed and frustrated, and I couldn't just vent my frustration on them, it wouldn't be nice and it will make me look like a retard.

So I just gave a excuse and said that I was low on cash. I headed to food court 4 and had a plate of grilled fish rice and a cup of Milo. I headed home and went to game (oh well). Later at night I went to re-watch the first 3 episodes of Coffee House. That really cheered me up alot since I got to see Eunjung's simple personality again. I think she really did a very good job playing that role in that drama. I really hope she can play roles like that in the dramas that she is featured in more often in the future.

Got really bored of DOTA, kept losing match after match, I think I lost 20+ matches in 5 days, really disappointing. Anyway I decided to dedicate time in finding good dramas and variety shows to watch. Currently Running Man and some other childhood shows are what I enjoy watching. Shall not reveal what the childhood shows are, but it's a Japanese show.

I gamed till about 2, then I was lying on my bed thinking about what my year 2 will be like, and what will my final year GPA score be. Since my Engineering Maths papers wasn't good, my GPA is sure to be below 3.5 :/ oh well, I guess I have to work harder in year 2 if I want to secure a place in uni.

Shall stop here, I'm going to watch Coffee House now :)

Few Hours

With only a few hours left to my first paper, I finished all of the revision papers today. But I still don't feel confident enough, maybe it's just my forgetful memory of the info? I really don't know. 

Anyway today I went to school early to do some practice papers. I reached school around 11, then I headed to FC4 to sit down and study. As I was looking for a seat, I saw Ryan revising his work near the entrance of the upper floor. I went to join him in revising our work. I went to bought a drink and did 1 practice paper. Wasn't really that tough :) About an hour later, the cleaners told us that the upper floor had to be cleared for cleaning, so we all moved down to the mid level of the food court. Around 2+, another friend of mine finished her exam so she came and join me for lunch. Originally I didn't want to have lunch, but after I saw the food that she bought, I thought :" Why not just grab some food? Since you have been craving for grilled fish all day long".
So I went to buy a plate of grilled fish rice with black pepper sauce. I gobbled down my food quickly and played about 3 songs in TapTap. My performance has really deteriorated by almost 300k points, so maybe I can work on that after my exams(?).

After lunch we went to the swing at Moberly to relax for a while. We played on the swing for a short while (honestly I didn't really dare to sit on that swing because the ropes look really worn out, as if it was going to snap any moment, it really reminded me of the swing incident back at my old house. I was swinging at a very high height and with a large force, then one of the chains snapped while I was on the swing in mid air. I sort of 'flew' quite a bit before crashing on the ground).

We played at the swing for about 20 minutes. I needed to head home soon so I gave all my friends a goodbye hug, then I headed for home was dead tired when I reached. I actually wanted to climb up 29 floors but I was too lazy to do so. Watched episode 6 of Dream High 2 after I took a shower. I felt so sorry for Kang Sora, all she wanted was her apology to be accepted by everyone, instead everyone just stuffed all the apples she gave out to them as a form of apology, back into her locker. When she opened it, all the apples rolled out like a waterfall, really pitiful scene. 

Did the revision questions again after dinner, then went to watch  episode 46 of Running Man starring SS501's Kim Hyun Joong. I actually wanted to re-watch Coffee House cause I really wanted to see Eunjung's charm again :D but it was almost midnight when I finished watching Running Man. 

It's 12:48am, I have to sleep now because I have an exam paper to conquer tomorrow morning :) goodnight! :)

1 more day (continued)

It has been a hectic day in school after studying fro about 2 hours with my friend. The paper wasn't really that bad, despite having to refer to my own notes sometimes. The paper that I did yesterday night totally killed me because I did the paper at 1 am to 2am, then I really could take it anymore, so I decided to surf facebook for about half an hour. I switched off my com at 3:00am. I tossed and turned in my bed for about 40 minutes then I sort of managed to fall asleep until about at 5:00am when the winds picked up speed and the rain started pouring.

I woke up again to close the windows in my room and the living room. My body was really tired at that moment, but for some weird reason I wasn't able to fall asleep. Subsequently I managed to fall asleep and woke up at 8:30, then I went to surf facebook for a short while before washing up and eating breakfast. I went to watch some shows on my com for awhile before going to school to meet my friend.

1 more day

1 more day before my exams, I managed to do 1 sample paper. But of course there were things I didn't know how to do. And of course I referred to my notes and I was able to do most of the questions that I couldn't :)

Anyway tomorrow I am meeting my friend in school for a study session. I hope I will take this session seriously as I only have 1 day left to properly study before the start of my exams. Anyway we planned to meet around 12, but my mum will probably tell me to go to school like around 10 to study first. Then after that we planned to go to Clementi mall to eat since there are no food courts opened in SP tomorrow. 

I actually felt like watching Coffee House again. Haha I kinda miss seeing the simpleness charm in Eunjung. Maybe after my final year exams, I can go and watch it again and again. 

Speaking of dramas, I started watching The Salamander Guru And The Gang. Apparently it features SHINee's Minho and g.o.d's Son Ho Young in the first episode. So I decided to continue watching it. It's a pretty funny drama since there was some comedy inside it. Another drama I started watching is called The Moon That Embraces The Sun. The first episode is pretty not bad, it makes me want to continue watching it. 

Right now I'm trying to look for dramas that Eunjung acted in. Like Queen Insoo, and another which I forgotten the name. 

It's pretty late (3:12 AM) I have to get some sleep. Goodnight! :) 

Capture

6 more days to my final year exams. I have studied, but I really feel that I can do better. Anyway I started watching this drama just yesterday. It's called Coffee House featuring T-ara's Eunjung. Don't ask why I started watching this drama. 

Anyway I have watched about 12 out of the total 18 episodes. But I was not really satisfied with the streaming links to the videos as some of them were broken, about 20% of the links available in fact. Eunjung, has a very unique charm that captures my attention. She portrays a simple minded coffee girl in a small coffee restaurant, longing to go out into the world, and become a famous writer. 

However her life was changed (for the better and for the worst), when her senior introduced Eunjung to become a writer's secretary. The writer has a extremely weird attitude and personality. He always wants his pencils to be sharpened at a certain length, coffee must be made to his own liking and taste, and also having very weird and unpredictable mood swings. With alot of stress, he always releases his stress by asking Eunjung to dance or to make him laugh by doing silly actions, basically making a fool out of herself just for his own self entertainment.

Despite all of the humiliation, Eunjung still decides to work for the writer. She always tolerates his eccentric personality, and always fulfills his requests diligently. That was what really captured me about her. 

Back to reality, if only I was able to find a girl whose rather simple minded, yet honest, diligent and capable at the same time. Someone that would let me hug and protect her, at the same time, giving her happiness. 

Happy Forever Alone day :/ (another name for Valentines Day)

Bothers

Alright I guess I am back to this blog after a long long time (didn't bother counting how many days I have not touched this blog). Anyway my final year exams are around the corner, 2 weeks more to be exact. I do feel a little worried to be honest, because I keep having this feeling of not revising enough for it. In school I am sometimes really sleepy, I try not to sleep though. But my mind just wanders off very easily. I do text in class though, I texted a few other friends, just to keep my boredom away and also to not fall asleep.

I have started eating new foods in school, instead of just eating chicken rice or fast food for almost every week, I started eating hotplate and guess what? It fulfilled my beef cravings almost everyday! Right now I felt that I walked out of a hurricane alive after so many assignment and lab tests completed in such a short time. But I know I am going to walk right straight into something bigger, a hypercane. My final year exams are right around the corner and I feel that I am really not trying my best to study. That really bothers me alot as I still have other assignments to do. I have a photo essay to complete, and another lab test around the corner.

Another thing that really bothers me alot is the 14th of February. Will the forever alone prophecy be broken or will it still continue? I really hope that the prophecy will be broken, only time will tell.....

Idols

I really don't know what to post, shall post on which female idols that I think look beautiful to me.

1. Choi Sooyoung :)
The reason is very obvious, she's my favorite out them, and also my ideal girl. She's very funny, kind and caring, and of course, beautiful to me. A supporting vocalist of the group Girl's Generation, and stands at 171cm tall.

2. Ham Eunjung
I'm not really sure why I put her as second place. There's something very attractive about her. She's sometimes a little too honest when she speaks about certain stuff. Nevertheless, she's cute the way she is. Lead vocalist in the 6 member girl group T-ara, ex-leader of the group.

3. Ueno Juri
When I first saw her as a guest in the show We Got Married, I was kinda surprised, she just looks different from the many Japanese idols that I saw before.

4. Kang Sora
Basically I agree on what Leeteuk hyung describes about her. Baby fat on her cheeks, teary eyes, and of course, beautiful too. Female actress, best known from the Korean movie, Sunny.

I can't seem to find a good picture of her. Oh well.

5. Lee Yeon Hee
I remember seeing her act in the same movie as Sooyoung. She's a very young actress, about the same age as the SNSD members. She is just beautiful, and really cute. When I saw her guest starring in Running Man, she is just cute, and nothing else. Was a potential member of Girl's Generation but dropped out to focus on acting instead of singing. Currently under the same company as Girl's Generation (S.M. Entertainment)

6. Victoria Song
She's captured my attention when I was watching her episodes of We Got Married together with Nichkhun hyung. She is not those whiny type, but instead she has a innocent and playful and she always puts her best foot forward everytime. I enjoy the particular episode when they were both in Thailand. She looks beautiful^1000000 with that headband on. From Qingdao, China, leader of the quintet dance group, f(x)

7. Song Ji Hyo
I remember seeing her before in dramas that aired many years back. But my best memory of her is from the current variety comedy show, Running Man. I think her best features are her eyes, smiles and of course, her beauty. She's just different from all the other running man members. Most of the time, composed and innocent, but sometimes funny especially when she uses informal speech. 

The pathway in a new life 3

I'm back to this blog after a long hiatus, including alot of laziness and forgetting to post sometimes :P I guess it has been about 2+ months since I last posted something. Anyway now it's the holidays, and there's about 2+ weeks before term 4 of my polytechnic school commences. What have I been doing during this holiday? I went out with friends, chatted with people I have not chatted with for more than 3 years already, and I am also looking forward for the BBQ party Chew Bok organized at the first day of the new year. 

Anyway, few days back, I went to a fencing competition that Janson was participating in. I met Chew Bok at redhill station and then we had breakfast at Whitesands shopping mall before heading to the competition venue. When we reached there, we couldn't see him because there were too many fencers from the same Junior College as him, and also fencers from other Junior Colleges. Since I don't really know how then fencing scoring works, I just sat there and watched.

There were a few girls that were from the same fencing team and Junior College as Janson. One of them particularly caught my eye. She has really pretty eyes, and a very nice smile. She looks really beautiful to me (sort of like a unique aura emitting from her). After Janson had finish fencing, I went to ask him who she was. 

After Janson told me who she was, I was quite disappointed because I found out that she's actually a retainee, in other words, she's a 93 while I'm a 94. I tried to look out for her most of the time when I was sitting. At one point of time, she came with a guy, that guy was rather muscular (compared to me I was like an anchovy D:) 

Since they looked so close so I guessed that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. When Janson, Chew Bok and I were eating break at Pastamania, I went to ask Janson if that guy was her boyfriend, however Janson said that he wasn't. Inside I was a bit happy since I know that she's not taken, BUT even if I do want to meet her, it wouldn't sound right for a 94 dating a 93 (at least to me)

So yeah I went home feeling sleepy and I was thinking of her partially. My brother came home from the army camp, then we both played DOTA together since we haven't played together for a long time. He used Luna Moonfang for both matches while  I used Nevermore and Magina respectively. 

Today I found this very touching and nice song by Lee Seung Gi. I listened for the first 25 seconds and I really loved that song alot. It's a very nice love song that basically describes my situation right now, clueless and confused. 

So yeah, I've got more stuff to share but it's 2.20am and I have to get some rest. I shall stop here now :) Nights! :)

The pathway in a new life 2

Haven't posted since I don't know when, totally had no mood to post anything. My laptop yesterday started to malfunction slowly, the hard-disk kept telling me there's a warning that it is failing. Basically it's just something bad, luckily I managed to back up all my info including my school documents, music, pictures and 1 or 2 games. I started using back my desktop since it's the only available computer in the house now. 

Today I used the com and played some games, totally had no mood to study or do any schoolwork. After lunch I tried doing my DE lab assignment, I couldn't test it out since my laptop is malfunctioning, so I just listened to music while playing Minecraft. About 4+, Janson called me and asked me whether I wanted to go out and have dinner at Chew Bok's Aunt's food stall. I quickly agreed and met them at Suntec City, we then took a bus to the location. We then ate dinner, a plate of beef fried rice with chicken wings. After that we chatted and laughed while playing cards. We went home after that. 

These few weeks in school was pretty shitty for me. I have been feeling crappy and lovesick, and annoyed. Annoyed by someone and also by the work and presentations. But the worse was the lovesick feeling. 

It all started last Thursday, it was the PEEE practical session. I was just connecting some simple circuits, just then, I had a flashback on that girl that I like previously. She just suddenly appeared in my mind. I sort of miss her, especially when she played a big role in helping me get through secondary 4. I still think of her nowadays, but I think about how happy she is without me inside her memory. I shall just watch her from afar as she goes into happiness.....

Untitled post (I forgot which number it is)

Yesterday was a pretty good and bad day for me. I woke up feeling reluctant to go to school. But I managed to get myself out of bed and dragged my feet to school. During GenEd, I was like yawning non stop, and Kim of course, continued with the lesson. Luckily I managed to stay awake when Kim was explaining the part on the graded presentation, AND next week's lesson starts at 9 since the consultation slots have been picked. After GenEd was PEEE tutorial that I was completely awake, as his lesson was pretty stress especially when the lecturer calls your name and you can't answer his question.

After lunch, I went back home to rest, then I opened my own minecraft server in which Jonathan taught me how to do so. I played for a short while before Jonathan joined in and played together with me. I had to go back to school for Wing Chun training. I could say this training was pretty good. I trained with a senior and I could execute the defence techniques pretty well. After training, there was a games session and we played ultimate frisbee. My team emerged 2nd out of 4 teams so I felt rather good.

I went home at about 9+ I bathed then ate my dinner till almost 12 midnight since I was eating while playing minecraft. I then watched the first episode of We Got Married Leeteuk and Sora, before switching off my com and going to sleep. Tomorrow I have a long day ahead of me, and tomorrow I have to carry my toolbox to school (a box full of burdens). Nights :)

The pathway in a new life

I haven't posted for about almost two weeks because school had started and I was lazy to post since I had to sleep early. My new life began two weeks ago. I had some new lecturers and of course, new modules and homework. Some new modules were fun, and with more homework coming in, I guess I have to kick in some discipline in my life. I tried to make it a point to do some tutorial questions daily, however it was difficult as there were distractions all around me (my bed, computer games, food, TV). So far I have revised some modules by doing the tutorial questions and also by listening more to class. I found some modules more interesting than the others. So I have decided to start paying more attention during lessons, go out less often (although I have already cut down the number of times I go out by around 70-85%), and most importantly, have a good study habit. 

I received my DE portable training kit few days back. It was good as I didn't have to go to the lab just to use the kit. I can just check out my circuits from home, but sadly the kit is not permanently ours. We are gonna have a DE project soon which requires the usage of the trainer kit.

The start of the new school semester also allowed me to see through many other people's personality. I am actually starting to get annoyed by someone from my class. I shall not mention names like before as to respect that person. I shall not disclose what the person did, because if I were to complain here, I'm no different from a uncivilized Internet troll. As for what I plan to do in the future, nothing. I shall just tolerate what that person does until when that person has annoyed me enough, then that's when I will step in. 

Yesterday night I was re-watching We Got Married Khuntoria couple. In that episode, Khuntoria was at a beach, and the sun was setting. Nichkhun carried Victoria to the sea and sat at a high rock. Victoria then rested her head on Nichkhun's shoulder as they watched the sun set slowly. After that, they headed back to town to have dinner.

I really want to let my future girlfriend experience that too, and give her alot of happiness and love. If only someone will give me the chance to do so....

Birthday + ECP! :)

Haven't posted for about 5 days. I was ill and was recovering in that period of time. Okay I will start on the night of 13 October. My heart of racing quickly, it was nearing 12 midnight and it's gonna be my birthday the following day. I played some games before going to sleep. 

The following day when I woke up, I suddenly felt ill. I knew I was having a fever and some stomach problems. My mum told me I was having stomach flu. I was kinda sad at first, I mean like who likes being sick on their birthday? Nevertheless, I rested at home, ate some fever and stomach flu tablets. At around 4+, Venessa contacted me telling me to go meet up with Bong, Aaron, Chew Bok and Axel. At 8, we left Chew Bok's house for Bishan. It was my first time taking the circle line, although it felt the same as the purple line. 

We waited for the shuttle bus, and it brought us to some cemetery. There were many people participating in this scary event just like us. Not long after, we walked inside, Venessa was abit freaked out, so she grabbed onto Aaron's hand, she also grabbed onto my hand later. I think we were the only group that were laughing and chatting inside, while everyone else was either screaming or just walking without chatting. 

After the event ended, we found ourselves at Lornie Road. So we took a bus to some place (I can't remember the place), then we had supper at Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe. I ordered Iced Milo while other ordered their choice of drinks. We chatted and laughed alot until it was way past midnight, Venessa had to leave early since her mum called her home. Chew Bok followed her back, while the rest of us just continued chatting. We left about 12:30am, shared a cab, and I reached home about nearly 1am. 

The next day, me, Ryan and Janson agreed to go to East Coast Park. We met at Bedok station at about 1:30pm. Bryan came later about nearly 2. We took a bus to ECP. However it started raining heavily, so we sat at Macs and ate something. The rain stopped, so we quickly rented a bike and started cycling, at the same time, we took many many photos. We cycled for about 2 hours, then Bryan had to leave for church. So we took a bus to Queensway shopping centre. We decided to eat something light. I ate a cup of corn, Ryan had a bowl of laksa, while Janson had "Mua Ji" (Sticky dough covered in crushed peanuts). After that we headed to anchorpoint for a drink, Janson bought his new manga book (I can't remember what it was though). At home we played a game of CnC, but we all gave up half way since we were too tired to continue. 

Today I woke up, with my butt still hurting from yesterday's cycling. I ate breakfast then went to use com, mum went out with dad to buy lunch. Around 2 hours later, mum came back with lunch, I ate it, then went to rest on my bed for a while. Download some new songs in my StepMania game and also in iTunes. Basically I used com till about midnight. 

It's 12:58am right now. Tomorrow will be the start of the new school term. One term has passed so quickly in a twinkle of an eye. I made some vows on what to achieve and do this term. Basically this new school term is a new life for me. 

I shall get some sleep now, tomorrow I have to wake up early :)

*Signing Off*

12 October

Today was kinda an odd day for me. I woke up around 10+, then mum wanted me to go out and eat lunch but I was too lazy to get out of bed so I told my mum I was still tired. Mum then told me she's going to the supermarket to buy some stuff, and also buy lunch at the same time.

However when she was about to go out, the house door suddenly just got stuck. Basically mum couldn't open the door for about 20 minutes. I was half conscious at that time so I didn't know what mum actually did. Anyway mum managed to get the door unlocked and went out. I was too lazy to get out from my bed, so I just lied on my bed watching We Got Married on my phone. I finally got out from my bed at lunch time, which was when mum came back with lunch. I ate my lunch, and played StepMania on my com. I downloaded a few more songs and I totally enjoyed it.

I went back to school at 4 for Wing Chun training. I was a little sad when Yumi didn't turn up for training today, but I found out that she went back to her hometown in Japan for a few days. Today's training was a little tougher than before, especially when there was a graduate that came and teach me 1 to 1. He smacked my hand exceptionally hard till it turned really red. But oh well, I'm sort of used to it already. 

At night I watched a new We Got Married couple. They are David Oh and Kwon Ri Sae. David is a Korean American singer while Ri Sae was a former Miss Korea 2009. I gotta say, they are a pretty sweet couple. They are very caring and considerate to each other. There was even a point when I got a little jealous of the both of them. I was smiling retardedly in front of the com while watching the episodes. 

After that I watched the first episode of Super Junior's Leeteuk and actress Kang Sora, followed by Eunjung and JangWoo episode 27 which I was waiting for all week.

2 more days to my birthday :) My buddies invited me to a Japanese buffet lunch tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to it. We all haven't had a meal together for so long already :) I hope we can catch up with one another tomorrow during the buffet lunch  with smiles and laughter. :) 

It's getting late, I'm gonna get some sleep :)

*Signing Off*

11 October

Today I was rudely awakened by the weather that became insane in the morning. There were strong winds and it rained heavily. I slept rather late the previous night so I woke up feeling a little crappy. I ate breakfast, and went to Janson's house to play.

Today was Janson's last paper for his Junior College promotional exams. I reached his house around 12 and played some games, ate some prawn(?) flavored snacks (yum yum). Ate strawberry flavored sweets and drank lots of water. Janson introduced me to something I have never heard before in my whole life, Vocaloids. When I first heard the voice, I was a little surprised. I never knew that computer programs could produce such nice voices. But the thought of the singer is actually a computer program, just freaks me out a little and also sends shivers down my spine.

Janson also gave me a new game today, StepMania. It's a music game, similar to tap tap just that it's on the computer. He first told me what kind of songs that can be placed in the game itself, then he told me the website that I can use to find songs that can be placed and played in the game. I took some nice anime openings and did some testings with the game, it worked perfectly fine, but my score obviously sucked since it was the first few times I'm playing this game. 

We played a game of CnC, then we played DM, he won 3 times, while I won twice. My 'burn' deck still has many weaknesses though. His mum came home shortly, and starting cooking dinner. I was kinda going berserk because my stomach was rather empty at that time and it was calling for food. His mum's cooking really tasted like my mum's style, so I ate the food happily and chatted with his mum at the same time. 

I left his house at about 9:30, reached home at around 10. Showered, then I went to watch TVXQ fancams during SM Town 2010 and 2011. Played a bit of StepMania before switching off my com. 

3 days more to my birthday, and I'm totally looking forward to it :) my buddies told me they have planned a surprise for me, I really wonder what it will be :) I hope Saturday I am able to meet them and enjoy day out at ECP. I discussed with Janson a little today. His fencing training ends at around noontime, and his training place is rather close to ECP. As for the rest, I still haven't really discuss it with them :) anyway it's 2:19am now, I'm gonna get some sleep :)

*Signing Off*

9th October

Today I didn't really do much things. Because I guess I was just too lazy to do anything. After breakfast, I went to play a short game, watched shows on YouTube and on other websites. I have noticed that some girls that wear headpins or headbands look even more prettier.

Especially when I was re-watching We Got Married Khuntoria couple. Khuntoria was in Thailand in that episode, and Victoria was wearing a butterfly headpin. I sweared that she looks 1000 times prettier with that headpin on. Same goes for Eunjung, she looks a thousand times prettier when she wears a headband.

Anyway in the afternoon I just suddenly started eating rock sugar for no good reason. I just became addicted to eating rock sugar. Mom found out (sadly), so she "ordered" me to go and exercise that very instant. I had no choice but to go and exercise D:

I didn't really run though, but I climbed down 29 floors and back up again. Surprisingly I wasn't really as tired when I usually climb the same flights of stairs. Maybe it was because of the rock sugar I ate before exercising that helped(?). I came back up sweating like crazy, so I went to watch an episode of We Got Married before going to bathe. 

After dinner I was chatting with Janson about his JC promotional exams, and also about the agreement to go to his house after his last paper on Tuesday. We planned to meet at around 11 at his house, and play games of course :D.

There's about 6 more days to my birthday :) I gotta say that this year I have a good date for my birthday. For the last 12-13 years since primary school till secondary 4, my birthday was always in the examinations period. So this year, it's in the holidays :) and I can have a better birthday this year :) I really can't wait for my 17th birthday, I just have to wait for another 6 days, and I'll turn 17 :)

It's 3:05am now, I should get some sleep already :)

*Signing Off*

8th October

Today I woke up, in which I thought it was only 8+am. But it turned out to be nearly lunch time when I checked the clock on my phone. Anyway mum wanted me to go out to eat lunch, so I followed her to Anchorpoint. I ate chicken chop with pasta, then mum wanted to take away KFC, then I went home while mum went to Pasir Panjang to buy Nasi Lemak for dinner.

At home, I played DOTA, 5v5 only mid game. That game was just pure chaos, let's say, killing every minute? Anyway I played as the Dwarven Sniper, with Butterfly, Lothar's Edge and Stygian Desolator, I just walked around killing any enemy easily. Anyway after that, I went to watch We Got Married WooJung couple episode 26. I think I have waited for that episode for almost a week. In that episode, Eunjung and Jangwoo had to film a music video together.

In that music video, Jangwoo was apparently knocked down by a car while buying a bouquet of flowers for Eunjung. And Eunjung had to cry out in despair after seeing her husband Jangwoo getting knocked down by a car and landing on the ground in slow motion. Anyway in that part the director told Eunjung to squeeze out her tears for that scene and it was really touching to see her really cry.

Anyway it's 12:05am, and the weather suddenly became insane, the winds are picking up speed, the sky is overcast and a storm is imminent. I think I shall go and rest soon, tomorrow is a new day with many things for me to do :)

*Signing Off*

6th October (posted on 7th October)

Today was a good day for me :) I woke up in the morning, my body was aching badly, because of yesterday's physical training. In addition, I had a mild headache when I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I felt the blood rush right up to my head, and for a moment I almost blacked out. 

Anyway I ate breakfast, then I switched on my com for a while, then I went to Chew Bok's house. I reached his house, went to watch some videos, then ate some chips, and drank some tea. We played 2 small matches of DOTA, and then went to chat, before heading downstairs for dinner. 

I ate a nice hot steaming plate of fried rice, and drank 100plus. Since the weather was insane at that time, I couldn't chat with him at the pavilion at the park near to the back of the block where he stayed. Instead, we went back up his house and we chatted again. We had a great laugh on many things, especially on our recent lives.

I left his house at around 11, reached back home at 11:30. I went to play some games before I switched off my com since my mum told me to.

I should get some sleep now, it's almost 2am. 

*Signing Off* (By the way this was supposed to be yesterday's post. It's just that I forgot to post it before I went to sleep)

5th October

Today wasn't really a bad day for me. I woke up at 9+, slacked in my bed while watching variety shows on my phone. Mum yelled at me to get out of bed to have breakfast. Ate 2 slices of tuna sandwiches, switched on my com. After that I went to get some cookies to eat. Watched We Got Married Adam couple and abit of the sweet potato couple ㅋㅋㅋ.

After lunch, I went to play Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 till about 3. Then suddenly my whole body felt like crap, so I lied on my bed for a while. Watched the last episode of We Got Married Khuntoria couple again. Went back to school for Wing Chun in a sad mood.

However I met someone today that totally brightened up my day. During Wing Chun training, there was this Japanese girl that caught my attention. Her name was Yumi and her beauty really just caught my eye. 

The whole time during training, I couldn't help but just stare at her almost everytime. During physical training, I sort of wanted to run together with her, but I decided against it. Even after we were dismissed from training, I wanted to follow her out to the MRT station, but in the end, I still decided against it. I walked out with my Wing Chun seniors instead. 

Walked back home, had dumplings and a cup of barley for dinner, then played a match of CnC with Axel and Chew Bok. My whole body was exhausted so I played the second match without any seriousness, we lost in the end though. 

Switched off my com early today since I'm dead tired now. Getting some sleep for the night now.

*Signing Off*

3rd October

Today I went to Ryan's house to play, I think I reached at about 11+ in the morning. Went to play a small match of DOTA, then went downstairs for lunch. 

He gave me a new game, and it totally rocks! :) It really seems like Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 when I play it. I like the part when we have co-op gameplay. Especially when we do double enemy base infiltration, and snipe enemies from afar.

I left his house at about 5+ reached back home at around nearly 7. Ate dinner, went to play the new game Ryan gave me. Got scolded when I was creating a game in Dota public game, so I sweared never to play public again. I mean like what's the point? I play public, I get scolded, I create a game also get scolding. Oh well, screw them, I will quit playing public forever, it's not the place for me. 

Ate cup noodles for supper, watched a bit of We Got Married before going to sleep.

Shall stop here for now, I'm getting some rest for the night.

*Signing Off*

1st October

Was lazy to post something these few days, I guess either I forget or was just too tired to do so. Anyway it's 1st October, and it's children's day and about 2 weeks more to my birthday :) I really wonder what will I get for this year. Last year I only got a birthday song, and a LAN gaming session with my buddies at Clementi Recreational Centre.

These 2 days was pretty much the same for me. I woke up, ate breakfast, watched TV, on com, watch We Got Married, played games, ate dinner, watched We Got Married again. 

I have started watching the newer couple episodes, especially the WooJung couple (T-ara's Eunjung and actor Lee JangWoo). I think out of all the We Got Married couples, they were the only couple who got very comfortable with each other the fastest. 

Anyway today I went out with my parents to ECP (East Coast Park) to have a delicious seafood dinner. I ate at the No Signboard Seafood (yes the restaurant's name is called No Signboard Seafood). Had some fried rice (very very oily D:), broccoli, tofu, and most importantly chilli crab :D

After that we went to take a walk at the beach, then walked to the hawker centre to have some satay and sugarcane juice. I didn't ate or drank anything there, because the table smelt extremely weird, like someone just puked over the table and cleaned it, leaving the after smell.

Oh well, after that we took a bus back home, took about 1.5 hours. Went to bathe, had a CnC game with Chew Bok and Axel. Then I went to watch funny videos before switching off my com. 

I think I didn't managed to sleep, because at 3am, the weather suddenly became very insane, the wind started blowing strongly, and the rain threatened to "destroy" my window. So I think I only managed to sleep at around 3:30am.

Shall stop here, I have already drained my mind on what to post. 

*Signing Off*

Khuntoria's final episode together

Alright this post is gonna be very embarrassing, so yeah please don't laugh at me or something. This post is about Khuntoria's last episode with each other. 

Khuntoria have been together for 456 days (1 year and 3 months). And their very last overseas trip together was at the Maldives. I shall share about what Khuntoria did on their final overseas trip. 

When they reached Maldives airport, they were admiring the beauty of the scenery. As they walked out of the airport a fan came out of nowhere, and asked for their autograph. Khuntoria was surprised because they didn't know they had fans all the way at the Maldives. They reached their room, and they jaw dropped at how nice the scenery was. Even the bathroom had a total sea view.

Victoria had even planned out on what to do, because she was extremely excited. At lunch time, before they started eating, they received a mission card. After reading it, Nichkhun and Victoria wasn't really happy. As the mission was that they had to become island guides instead of having a holiday. Victoria became very sulky, while Nichkhun was rather enthusiastic about it. 

Their first mission as guides was that they had to entertain a few guests from the UK. Nichkhun was in charge of the talking since Victoria couldn't really speak English that well. The second mission was that they had to become sailing guides, while the last mission was to become bartenders for an hour. 

Anyway, after returning back to Seoul. Victoria was at the SM Entertainment building, while Nichkhun was at the newlywed  house. They both received a CD, and when they opened it, it first showed their beautiful memories together, and at the end, was a message saying the Khuntoria marriage will come to an end at 31 August 2011 at 00:00hours. 

I was obviously sad of course, I mean they were like the perfect couple. They had many happy memories together, it's a shame that the virtual marriage had to come to an end after a year and three months. 

Anyway when Victoria looked through the CD, she started crying. As for Nichkhun, he frantically looked though the whole video again, but of course he had to accept the reality. Since Nichkhun was alone at the newlywed house, he took a video of the whole house, and of course their wedding photos and photos of themselves together with the f(x) members. At the of the video, Nichkhun was about to tear up, but he kept telling himself not to cry. 

Nichkhun went to prepare a surprise party, inviting the f(x) members and also another guy I can't remember his name. After that Nichkhun went to personally escort Victoria from the SM Entertainment building to the party's location. During the party, there was laughter everywhere. But the guests didn't know that it was Khuntoria's last episode together.  

They left without knowing a thing, instead they all thought it was just an ordinary party that was celebrating Khuntoria's 456th day together. Anyway after all the guests left, Nichkhun showed Victoria a congratulating message from 2PM. After that, he showed her that video when he went around the house. Victoria was tearing up after the video ended. 

It was about 2 hours before 12 midnight. Nichkhun drove Victoria to the place where they first met. Victoria gave a surprise to Nichkhun, which was a letter to him written with heart shaped papers. Nichkhun gave a big and tight hug to Victoria, as if he never wants to let her go. With only 10 minutes to midnight, Khuntoria sat at a cafe. 

Reviving old memories, Nichkhun actually wished that the 12 midnight will never come, as they chatted, it was already past midnight. They both stood up, held each others hand, and left the cafe. The screen later showed two words: Good Bye. 

Right then, a drop of tear just dropped out of my right eye. I admit that I really teared up after watching their farewell episode. It was the first time I shed a tear in almost two years. I broke into a smile in front of the computer screen, and then I went to the bathroom and washed my face. 

And by the way, I typed this post before I went to the bathroom to wash my face. So yeah, my face is pretty sticky from my dried up tears that flowed down my face. 

I guess I shall get some sleep right now, tomorrow my mum and dad are bringing me to go and have steamboat lunch. 

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

Untitled post 2

I think today was a pretty good day for me I guess(?) I woke up at 11+ because my mum shook me awake. Mum wanted to go to Sheng Siong at Commonwealth station, to shop and also to have lunch. But I wasn't hungry, so I obviously didn't eat. Mum went to buy stuff, I simply just followed her. 

Then I went to take away a Long John Silver's meal (OMG). I think I have gained 2kg(?) after eating it. Anyway at home, I went to on my com, played a skirmish on Red Alert 2, then chatted with Chew Bok on skype. Chew Bok just returned back home from Thailand, he bought some chewing gum back home. 

I actually wanted to ask him to look for some posters. Oh well, I guess he tried his best looking for them but to no avail. Anyway, Chew Bok wanted to play CnC with me, I agreed. Got owned pretty badly in the first few games, the later games was a little better. Mum went to cook laksa (YUM YUM) for dinner, and it really tasted like the one I ate at Katong Laksa. Furthermore, my brother went to buy Koi from Clementi. 

Basically it was a good meal. After dinner, I continued playing CnC with Chew Bok and Axel. Then I called Ryan to join in, before going to shower. After I showered, the weather suddenly became insane or something. The winds picked up speed, until it felt like a typhoon was coming or something. 

Anyway I went to watch We Got Married Khuntoria couple ep 45 to about ep 52. I think these few episodes were the best. There was this particular episode, Khuntoria had to play baseball. Victoria was the pitcher and Nichkhun was the hitter. After that, they went to spectate the baseball match. And there was this kiss time in which there was a Jimmy Jib camera randomly zooming on any couple, and they had to kiss each other on the lips. 

And out of luck, Khuntoria was zoomed it, and they had to kiss each other (for the first time). However, Nichkhun was too shy, since there were about 20000+ people there watching them. So he kissed Victoria on the cheek which was covered by the jacket's hood that she was wearing. The audience wasn't very satisfied so they wanted another kiss. Then again, Nichkhun couldn't bring himself to kiss her on the lips, so he just kissed the same way he did. 

And there was another episode where Nichkhun played the piano for Victoria at the roof top of the JYP building. I could see that Victoria was really touched and was almost on the verge of tears. It was the night before Nichkhun had to leave for Japan for 2PM's promotional activities. 

There are many episodes I would like to share about, but it's too difficult to express out in words here.

It's 2:42am in the morning, I shall get some sleep now.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

Untitled post

I don't know what should I put as the title for this post. Anyway I woke up feeling shitty and lovesick, I ate breakfast as usual. Bee Hoon and sliced fish cake with luncheon meat, and a cup of hot milo. My stomach felt okay after breakfast surprisingly. I went to play Red Alert 2 after breakfast, mum obviously wasn't happy because I was playing com early in the morning. I have been doing this for the past 1-2 weeks?

During lunch time, I went to watch a badminton match on TV with appa. Appa was like cursing and swearing at the China player, because my dad thinks he has an attitude problem, or acting too proud. Anyway one of the players of the defending world champion, Lee Chong Wei. I have watched him play before on TV, he is really awesome, like an agile monkey. He is able to take shots very quickly, making little mistakes and dominating the court easily. However I think luck wasn't on his side today, he lost to Cheng Long, his opponent from China whom my dad thinks is just a show off and got lucky when he won the defending world champion.

I went to play com, lie on my bed, repeated the process 3-4 times. Texted Shannon for a short while before heading downstairs for a run. After I finished running, I climbed up 29 floors and almost died halfway but I persevered. Went to bathe, ate chicken wing rice for dinner.

The lovesick feeling overwhelmed me again after dinner for some unknown reason. I was like thinking how did I even get past secondary school. I was very emo in my third and fourth year, because I kept having unrequited love. I kept loving someone but not getting the results that I want. I always told myself that I could always find someone and love her even more than the previous. Oh well I think I can mention names here since basically not one reads my blog.

The first person I liked was in Secondary 2, and her name was C (Oh well, I think for respect reasons, I should not put the full name online). C and I were classmates since Primary 5. We talked, laughed and studied together sometimes. She was kind and caring, and I think she is beautiful, she still is though but just that I buried my feelings for her in Secondary 3. In Sec 3, I found someone else. Her name starts with a B. B and I only talked for 1 hour, but I really enjoyed that 1 hour when we were together. I didn't even know her, neither did she. I opinion on her is that I think she is kind (duh), caring and also helps people in the first opportunity, and shes beautiful.

However she somehow found out that I had feelings for her, and she totally ignored me in the corridor whenever we walked past each other. Basically unrequited love for two straight times. Hated it alot, but I guess I have no choice but to pick myself up again and again.

Anyway after dinner, I texted Shannon again, and she told me she has a boyfriend now. I'm very happy for her as someone appreciates her and she accepted his feelings. As for me, I guess I will have to wait, 10 years or 20 years, I will still wait, wait for someone to come along and appreciate for who I am.

Shall stop here now, I'm super tired.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

23 September + 24 September

Don't ask why there is no post during the 23rd of September, basically I was too lazy to post something that day. Anyway I shall post 2 day's stuff in this post. Yesterday I woke up and went to watch We Got Married Khuntoria couple episode 24 onwards, then mum wanted to go out to IMM to eat lunch. I had no appetite, so I just followed mum to the Cafe(?) at level 1. Mum ate beef noodles, while I just sat and watch her eat. Later mum asked me to follow her to Daiso, in which I ended up walking more than 10+ times because I was purely bored.

Mum later went to Giant, my mood was much better, I went to buy some food for mum to cook. Went to eat subway for my lunch, then took a taxi home. At home went to maple for 5 mins, basically I didn't have the mood to game. I went to watch funny videos instead. After that it was dinner time so I went to watch TV while eating dinner. Then went to maple for 10 mins then I switched off my com. Texted Shannon, we chatted for quite a while, till 1am then I went to sleep.

Today I woke up at 10+ cause my mum forced me awake, mum came to my room and started slapping my shin, and told me to wake up since the breakfast was already cold. I just stood up, and felt the blood rush into my head, my vision blurred for 4 seconds, walked to the toilet, took my tooth brush and started brushing my teeth. I think my mind was subconcious when I did it, so I practically couldn't remember anything that happened. Went to eat Roti Prata for breakfast, switched on com and watched We Got Married Khuntoria ep 30 to about 40+.

Ate lunch in front of com, then went to lie on my bed for a short while, watched the sky from my bed, and then did some self reflection. After that mum and appa wanted to go out for dinner, so I followed them. My brother didn't want to go so he stayed at home and watched TV. We went to Alexandra Village, and I ate prawn fried rice :D while my parents ate XO sliced fish bee hoon soup. I hated the XO taste though, I am a person that hates beer, wine and alcohol. I actually don't plan to drink them, same goes for smoking. I hate the smell of smoke, and I just can't stand the smell of it.

Anyway I went back home after dinner, mum and appa went to people's park centre. I went to use com, and chatted with Janson for about almost 2 hours on MSN.　We chatted about quite abit of stuffs. From our recent lifes to which girls we have a crush on and even what we planned to do in the future.

Its 12:56am now, shall stop posting because I don't know what to post already.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

22 September

Today I woke up super duper early in the morning (5:30am) because of the imminent rain. The wind was so freaking loud until it kept me awake. I texted Shannon for a while then I went to have a light breakfast before planking on my bed and sleeping again.

I woke up at lunchtime, when the smell of chicken rice and the chilli sauce was so significant to my nose. Ate lunch, went to watch We Got Married Khuntoria couple. I finally found episodes 16 onwards, so I started watching from episode 16 onwards (of course). At 2pm, I went back to SP for the diploma plus talk, pretty boring though. I met Denis and my Wing Chun friends at the talk. When the talk ended, I met Zhi Sheng at the auditorium's exit. 

I went to buy Macs home to eat, then went to play Red Alert 2 Soviet Campaigns (I practically completed the entire 7 missions, took me 3 hours though). I didn't  eat dinner, but mum gave me a small bowl of porridge with meat floss. I was starving the whole time after dinner, I wanted to ear something but I decided against it. 

Went to play 2 matches of DOTA, used the Invoker, not bad game results. But I think I could really do better. Texted PiaoMin till about 1+. Now it's almost 2am, I shall get some sleep for the night.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

21 September

Finished playing DOTA, Just watched Penalty Shootout Show - Heart Is Beating, which had Super Junior's Donghae and Eunhyuk. It also featured a Russian-Korean goalkeeper. 

The first round of that show Donghae got eliminated, Eunhyuk amazingly scored against a Korean national goalkeeper. Basically Eunhyuk was awesome when he scored against the national goalkeeper. The entire audience was cheering when he scored. Oh yeah I forgot to post what I was doing yesterday.

Hmmm I actually kinda forgot why I was doing yesterday. If I'm not wrong, after lunch I was watching shows on YouTube, then Chew Bok wanted to play CnC with me, so I agreed to play 2 games with him. After that I went to open my iChat email to check my results, I was quite satisfied with my results cause I have reached my target :).

SP sent me an SMS inviting me to apply for Diploma Plus program, but obviously I'm not gonna sign up cause it's just gonna eat my parent's money.
Anyway after dinner I went to chat with Janson on msn, then texted PiaoMin till about almost 2am before going to sleep. 

Gotta sleep now, it's 1:53am and my eyes are gonna close any moment from now.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off*

Recovered :)

My cold finally recovered after about 2 days. I woke up only to find that Shannon texted me at 5:48am in the morning when she went to school. I checked my phone at about nearly 11 which was when I just woke up. Anyway mum went to wash the toilet so the scrubbing sounds forced me awake. I ate breakfast at around 11+ then ate lunch at 12:30, my stomach almost exploded. At 3, my brother came home because he had a half day at work in the army camp, so he went to buy back McDonalds for me.

At 4+ I went to school for Wing Chun and todays session wasn't really that bad, we had chatter and laughter after the training and we even planned to go out as a CCA next week for a dinner. I walked home feeling good, ate dinner at home and now writing this post cause I have nothing to do. I think I shall play a game of DOTA later.

Shall stop here for now, I'm going to play a match of DOTA now.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Bowling, Pool, Movie + cold D:

I woke up with a stupid sore throat and a cold, and after I woke up I couldn't stop sneezing. Mum went to cook early lunch for me since I was going out to meet friends later. I went to play some com games, Maple was having a small maintenance so I went to play DOTA instead. Not a bad game though, got 13 kills and 2 stupid deaths. The 2 stupid deaths came from the Doom Bringer (Lucifer), which casted doom on me when I was trying to run away. 

Anyway I left house about 1+, kept sneezing all the way till I reached vivo. Met up with Chew Bok, Axel, Bong, Venessa and PiaoMin. We had lunch at Long John Silvers, ten after that we went to SAFRA Mount Faber for bowling and pool. Bowling was fun, although I guttered a few times, I enjoyed it alot. Pool was fun, expect the fact that I my nose was giving me a huge burden. It practically became a leaking tap.

After pool we went to Tiong Bahru Plaza where Axel and PiaoMin went home. We met up with Aaron, and went to watch Johnny English together. The movie was hilarious, I was laughing most of the time, and completely forgetting my cold. After the movie, Bong and Aaron went home by bus, I followed Venessa and Chew Bok on the MRT. I alighted at Dover (of course), then I walked back home from there. 

My body totally felt like crap at that time, I was feeling weak, tired, hungry and very lovesick. When I reached home, I went to bathe, and ate flu medicine. I went to watch some SNSD live performances and Sooyoung's music videos when she debuted in a group called Route 0 in 2002. Felt a little better, went to watch some more videos, then switched off my com. 

It's 1:03am, I have to sleep cause I ate flu medicine and I'm feeling very drowsy now. 

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off*