24th of June

It has been a good 18 days since I collected my pink IC and left the army, and within these 18 days there have been ups and downs. Once again I did a lot of self reflection and I was more aware of what was making me feel down. I would say the first thing was the very fact that I pushed away and hurt the people that really cared for me even when I wasn't being fair to them. My actions have hurt them to the point some of them stopped caring for me, and I really regret my actions to this very day. I used to think that I would be able to easily find people that truly care for me, but after everything that has happened, I realised I was wrong, 100% wrong in fact.

People that you know might not turn out what they really are, in which they would turn out likely to just be acquaintances or even worse, betrayers / backstabbers. On the other hand, I am thankful to those people still stood by my side even though I might have unknowingly hurt them. I will definitely watch my actions and the things I say as these 2 things tend to easily hurt people the most.

Okay enough for the negative part! Visited a Chinese physician to get my stomach and re-flux problems checked, and apparently it was caused by the over consumption of cold food and beverages. Therefore even since then I've cut down on cold drinks but as for desserts I still have em' every once in a while, I mean it is impossible to completely not eat dessert :D (like, bruh come on!). At the same time I've completely changed my workout style to fully calisthenic-style and no weights. The main reason is because my gym that I signed up last year is expiring soon and it has at least 80 dollars worth of deposit left, but I have to travel pretty far to reach that gym. Calisthenics? I can do them anyway and anywhere. As of now, I am on my journey to doing my very first muscle up :)

Been studying for Uni almost every single day, as I know it is going to OMG difficult since it's an honours course squeezed into 21 months. Therefore if I am able to pull through the 21 months, my life would be way better after that. Not a lot of revision done in a day, just a chapter and loads of questions plus online research. Research plays a very big part in finding solutions and exploring more about that topic. I met up with a professor recently and he told me that just plainly memorizing answer will only help me to PASS, but to SCORE and EXCEL I have to do additional research and theory proving. But well, till then I am not going to stop my revision and research and at the same time enjoy my very much well deserved civilian life :D

Alright, it's pretty late so I will be getting some sleep. Since I am no longer in the army, I do have more time alone therefore I promise to update this dead blog more often :)

Cheers:)

7th of April

FINALLY! I managed to watch Dawn of Justice, in addition the whole cinema was empty when I was watching it :D Looks like I finally managed to strike off something on my bucket list, plus I had a good McDonalds meal while watching so that made it ten times better :)

Right now it's comics reading season, been reading the second year of Injustice: Gods Among Us and also the Marvel / DC crossover comics and I have to say the crossover series is way way more darker than most of the DC comics with Doctor StrangeFate in my opinion is the most OP shit every, no kidding.

60 days to ORD and I couldn't have asked for a better life than right now. Just that some people that I'm working with right now are just not willing to accept what they have, they complain about details and even talk bad about seniors behind our backs. Kinda makes be really annoyed when that happens as we are trying our best to keep this place running with no issues and some just want to start an internal coup. Not sure what exactly he / they want as whatever he / they wanted we have given, the complains still surface from time to time when we least expect it.

Oh well, just going to continue doing what I need to do and erase my presence from that workplace when I complete my service.

4th of April

One whole week of sinful meals and snacks, and I felt the first-hand effects of it just yesterday night after dinner. Soooo after dinner I headed to macs with my parents and we shared 2 meals. After drinking the iced lemon tea all by myself, I suddenly felt ultimately sick to my stomach and at the same time there was a sharp pain on my chest area in which to be more specific, my heart area. So I had to walk slower and fortunately the bus took quite some time to arrive at the bus stop therefore I was able to sit down, catch my breath and relieve the imminent anxiety attack.

I was able to reach home without throwing up or passing out (yes, literally), sat down and slowly sipped a cup of water. I told myself that from that point onwards if I want to eat unhealthy food for more than 2 days a week, I will have to compensate by exercising and participate in more high intensity training sessions every week. Therefore this morning I headed out for a run with a few of my platoon mates at the running track. The sun was blazing hot so I had to struggle the 2.4km, we then headed back into the sheltered shed to carry on with some static exercises. I nailed the push ups by doing 60 in one minute, and adding on 3 sets of 20 push ups with 1 minute of rest time in between. I was glad I didn't lose my touch with my push ups as that is the few exercises that I made the most improvements in. Next was pull ups, I broke my record by doing 8 solid pull ups and words couldn't express how proud I was with myself, all the late night training sessions at home and the official training sessions in camp have really paid off.

Headed home for another 4km run after an evening gaming / study session and here I am right now cooling down after a warm bath.

Plans for this week? Watch the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice movie on Thursday and brushing up on my math, hopefully I can complete my year one math and move forward to my second year math by the end of this week. Hopefully my procrastination doesn't kick in when I don't want it to, haha :D

Time for bed! Cheers everyone!

Justin

23rd of March

Whatssuppp!! I'm back here once again even though I know literally no one actually reads my blog, but still it is one place I can type out whatever that is going though my head. Sick for one entire god damn week, all started with that stupid ice cream that I ate that gave me food poisoning, then came the fever, flu and body ache. To make matters worse I fell sick during the COMEX IT show period, so I didn't managed to attend the fair but luckily an extremely kind friend of mine went for the show, got me some brochures and then even went to purchase the items that I needed. Kudos to him, and I wish him the best in life for his limitless kindness and help for that period of time. (BTW the monitor that he got for me, I love it so so much. 23 inch borderless monitor is one hell of a monitor that will really enhance my gaming experience to the next level).

I'm still sick, suddenly getting painful headaches all day long after lunch. So I decided to sleep it off after my morning shift but still ached like hell after I woke up so I'm really hoping it gets better or else I won't be able to attend training tomorrow :\ I'm actually wondering if it is the weather that is causing many people including me to actually fall sick, or it is due to the fact that I have not been drinking enough water and getting enough rest? Honestly I really don't know, in any case I'm not taking any chances, gotta go and pop one of the migraine tablets before I hit the bed later on.

ONE MORE DAY, JUST ONE MORE DAY. One more day to what you may ask? Yes, it is the release of the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice movie. I've waited for this movie for half a freaking year and it is finally out tomorrow, YES TOMORROW. Unfortunately I'm not able to watch it because I will be in camp. Luckily a lovely lady and very close friend of mine invited me this coming Sunday to watch the movie with some other friends, therefore I'm extremely thankful for her invitation.

This movie will be the prequel to the 2017 Justice League movie, and words cannot describe how much I'm so hyped about this coming movie. Sadly the Martian Manhunter will not be in the Justice League movie therefore I'm a little disappointed as the Martian is my favourite superhero from DC comics. But well? I'll leave that for 2017, right now I'm so looking forward to seeing the Son of Krypton versus the Bat of Gotham, plus the Amazonian powerhouse Wonder Woman herself! On a side note Gal Gadot is sooooo attractive:) *insert eyes of love here*

Time to sleep, and time to get rid of that stupid headache.

5th of February

Well well well, what do you know? It's February and I've got less than 4 months to ORD, pretty fast eh? Last week I received my number 1 uniform from headquarters and it totally fits me perfectly, I was glad that I didn't need to try on for more than 2 times as I was drenched in sweat and I didn't want to contaminate the other clean uniforms with my sweat.

Got a few pieces of good news during this 2 weeks. Firstly I got marksman in my combat shoot and I almost got full marks for the combined effort stage, 29 / 30 to be exact :) Secondly, I am going to be promoted first class CPL by the end of this month, section commander told me the good news while I was half asleep in the resting area. So it's more money and self pride when I head on for the milestone parade in May, and not to forget a chance for another promotion during my reservist. The last piece of good news is my IPPT, even though I am only 1 point away from the coveted gold award, I came in 3rd place out of the 55 2.4 km runners during the test with my timing of less than 10 minutes and 20 seconds. This timing is the fastest I've ever got in my entire life, never ran that fast before and I felt I could run even faster. The best part is that I am about to reach my goal of running a 10 flat for my 2.4 km run, I am going to train even harder from now onwards to hit my goal and to show people that hard work is what gives you good results.

Saturday mount tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it as there is going to be a session of intensive workouts and a good steamboat dinner! Alright, time for bed and adios!

15th of January - New Year's Resolutions

It has 2 weeks into the new year, and so much has changed around me. Be it from my best buddies, my NS life and even down to the people that I care for. I read about the truth on the kind of life that I was living, and it hit me really hard. Why? Because firstly indeed what I read was the truth on the kind of life I was living and how badly I want it to change. However this word 'change', scares the crap out of me (yes, no kidding). It associates with the question 'What will happen?' 

For now I do have a few unfinished tasks that I started in 2015 and I want to achieve them in 2016.

1. IPPT Gold

This is a promise that I made to myself after my MPTS days. I was weak, stupid, blur, emotional, delusion-ed, rash, easily influenced and someone who gives up easily. I saw the faces when people achieved the much coveted gold award for IPPT, and from that moment on I wanted to get that award. I want to be fitter, I do not want to be called weak anymore, nor do I want to fall behind in terms of fitness. Lastly I want to have something that I can be proud for achieving.

2.  Making peace with my past and my mistakes

This will take a shit ton of effort, like really. I've never been able to let go of who I am in the past, which is why is it haunting me day after day, The mistakes that I made, the people that I've misunderstood or hurt with my words and actions still flow back into my head until I snap out of it. I chatted with one of the counselor commander and he told me that to let go of one's past, is to first forgive oneself because making peace with the mistakes one by one. 

3. The 'wait & listen' character attribute / attitude

I got inspired by a TV show that is a childhood show of mine. In it is a race of people has mastered this particular human attribute. They wait and observe how their opponent attacks before making a swift decision and then counter attacking. I feel that this also applies to the real world, Some people nowadays are too rash in terms of decision making and also action wise, I am no exception and it has cost me dearly. I do not want to succumb to making mistakes over and over again because of the fact that I'm too rash and hasty to get things done or to solve things.

These 3 are my few resolutions for the new year. I guess no one will probably read this post, but I guess it is 3 cheers to the new year, to better health and to my future. *clanging of wine glasses*

Justin

6th of December

This week was pretty amazing, both in a good and bad way. Earlier at the start, I returned to camp only to find that the bunk was flooded with toilet water (yes, smelly toilet water). Apparently what happened was that the piping on the same floor burst and the water flowed all the way to our bunk, flooding it. Many of our stuffs were soaked and smelt horrible, but luckily my stuff wasn't wet because I secured everything inside my locker.

By afternoon, all the water was pumped out by the contractors and we cleaned out the bunk so it is much cleaner and smelt better than before.

Headed to the gym today because I felt like I had to train and put in effort into bringing out the fitness side of me :D Took a super long train ride to Khatib and walked all the way to the stadium. I met with some of my platoon mates and we started using the equipment to carry out our workout regime. We spent around 2 hours in the gym, before heading to the main Khatib town to have lunch.

Today's workout was good as I felt that I put in my 100% effort into the regime, and I even added a few more extra sets of exercises. I've never added extra sets into the regime, so I felt really good after the entire workout as I know I beat my personal best record.

6 more days to my Taiwan trip, I can't wait for the day to arrive. Right now I've got 2 days of leave on the 8th and the 9th, and one last overnight shift on the 10th before a good 8 days overseas :)

Alright, time to sleep soon. I got to wake up early and head to camp at the ungodly hour :\

3rd of December

Some stupid noise somewhere in the neighborhood kept me awake almost all night, leaving me less than 2 hours of proper uninterrupted sleep. I think I probably fell asleep because my body is just too tired, probably the point where it simply just shut off by itself.

Woke up and headed to camp anyway, and buses took a long time to reach the bus stop which I was at. So I waited like a complete idiot for almost 30 minutes for 1 bus to come, and the morning traffic didn't help much either, probably one of my most unlucky mornings by far. With the new upcoming downtown line, hopefully I won't come across these unlucky mornings ever again.

My stiff neck still is a huge problem because it is not completely healed yet, in fact I felt the same as yesterday, the restricted feeling and not forgetting the massive pain when ever I look upwards. Sprayed some muscle relief but it didn't help much, and I even went for gym training in the afternoon as my commander wanted to train and was looking for some gym partners at the same time. Worked my ass off for the next hour, lifting my standard training set of weights and doing them in sets. Didn't managed to do the bench press as it was packed with people queuing up for it :\

Before leaving the recreation area, we found another commander sitting down and having a plate of mee goreng. I borrowed 2.5 bucks and got myself some salty fantastic fries and ate them while walking back to the base.

My online Korean course has finally arrived, and I wasted no time in completing the first 2 lessons with a lot of motivation and a huge smile on my face. I am one step closer in achieving one of my dreams - to master another language, and in this case this is my favorite language. Looks like I will have a lot more to do when I get back home from my next overnight shift, a day of motivated learning and fun! :)

Alright time for bed, another overnight shift to conquer tomorrow:)

2nd of December

Creating this post with a ultimate stiff neck that I just got about an hour ago while running. I know right? How the hell do one even get a stiff neck while running, like if gotten one while doing other stuffs is completely understandable, but while running? WTH man.

Anyway I managed to make full use of my day today, went out with my mum in the afternoon to get some winter heat-tech cloths because in my upcoming vacation to Taiwan, I will heading up the mountains for at least 2 days and it will be super cold up there. We firstly headed to People's Park Center and looked for some jackets and gloves because mum wanted to look for other winter equipment. After that we relocated to Lucky Chinatown and went into the Uniqlo shop. Found the heat-tech cloths, but I was unsure whether to get the grey small or black medium. 

The decision was made pretty quickly as the staff told us that there was no grey small so I just got the medium black. After buying all the equipment that we needed, I got myself a McDonald's meal because I was craving for it all day, a nice big Mac meal. Ate everything down before boarding the bus and heading home.

I was supposed to do some math today but I just ended up listening to music since dinner before heading out to exercise.

Today is the 2nd day of exercise after not exercising for 4 days since the Saturday gym session, did 100 push ups, ran a fast paced 2.4 km but only managing to crank out 25 sit ups before I yelping out in pain because of my ultra stiff neck that I got while running :\

Sigh, hopefully tomorrow my neck will be better as it is a training day in camp. Alright, I will be heading to bed soon, will create another post tomorrow! :)

24th of November

So proud of myself after a long time, I managed to complete a 3.6 km run even though I was dead tired after returning home from camp. After running, I did some walk-the-plank pull ups and 100 controlled strength sit ups. 

I did some self reflection in camp this morning since I was unable to fall asleep while waiting for my shift at noon. I realised how stupid and naive I was for the past 21 years of my life, and not to forget I also regretted a lot of my actions I made in the past in which I am totally regretting it right now. Many of my friendships have been strained and tension still exists right now, but wherever they are, I just want to say that I'm terribly sorry for my actions and decisions that caused things to end up terribly. 

While running, every moment felt like hell, literally. After 1 km I totally felt like giving up after every single step I took. But what made me press on? I guess that would be the end result. I knew that if had given up, I won't get the result that I want. If other people can press on for an entire marathon, what is 3.6 km? When I completed the run, I never felt more happy and alive and I even forgotten how tired I was. 

Right now I'm chilling with some music playing through my speakers, I have made another decision which I should have made many year ago. I will not quit so easily as I used to. 

Tomorrow will be a new day, and a fresh start for me. It will be another day of training, and hopefully things will be great like today.

Justin

23th of November

Been so listless recently, some how I seemed to have lost part of myself due to some sort of unknown reason. People have been cheering me up with all the stupid shit that we have been doing in camp, things like crazy workout routines, messing around with the card system with people that we don't like.

Back at home I've been watching alot of random videos ranging from cats meowing, strength wars, to even PDS. I missed my days back in the NCC, when I was really active in the Precision Drill Squad. Hwa Chong PDS never fails to amaze me, same goes for Yishun Town PDS. Oh well, memories be memories.

Didn't even sleep well during the night shift even though I had at least 8 hours of rest break given to me. I managed to complete the last 4 hours of shift before I headed home and instantly crashed on my bed for a good 4 hours before waking up for a super late lunch. At least mum bought me a lot of rice so at least I would be full for a long time. I didn't really do anything else besides watching shows and gaming on my computer before it was time for some daily math to put some oil on my rusty brain. I managed to complete one chapter but it was a short one so I guess tomorrow will be another day of math once again :)

On a good note, I applied for this Korean course though the SAF, so I will be getting course notes and practice stuff real soon! I'm quite glad I made this decision as I was stuck in choosing further math and taking up a new language. Hopefully I will be able to complete the course and get the much coveted language cert before I ORD :)

Alright time for bed, new post tomorrow! :)

17th of November

I'm back! :)

It has been more than a week since the last post was uploaded. Have been sick last week so I haven't been able to find the time to upload a post. I didn't even have the energy to even workout, eh well technically (unless if you count 100 push ups as a form of full workout).

Did 2 overnight shifts on the last 4 days and I've got one more coming up. Good thing is that I'm going to TP day after tomorrow to get some good lunch there as my friend told me he wanted to introduce some good food to me. I've never been to TP before so I'm really looking forward to some good food there:D

I'm very glad that I caught up with an old friend whom I've known for more than 15 years. I asked her out and we had super good food :D We went to Pepper lunch express after we met up at the station and she even offered to pay for me (actually she had a card so she offered to pay for me first :\). Grilled salmon rice for her and Pepper beef set for me with a mashed potato for my sides :D We strolled around the mall and looked at books at a bookstore. She was holding this lil' Japanese toy that she really liked and wanted to get it so badly. I laughed at her since she looked so funny trying to explain to me and even showed me different Japanese wordings (Hiraganan, Katakana, and Kanji). A few books that caught my eye, were the marvel comics as I was looking for the Infinity War comics and also hopefully the main Civil War which Captain America was in.

Unfortunaly I couldn't find what I wanted, so we both headed out of the shop and went to this dessert restaurant that both caught our attention. We ordered this choco brownie and ice cream surrounded by hot chocolate, while she ordered a chocolate milkshake as an extra drink for herself. It was extremely good as I never ate such a good dessert before (:D), and it was worth the price. We both left the restaurant feeling full but satisfied, then we both headed for home and parted ways.

Right now my stomach problems returned, don't know what caused it and I don't know how long more will it last. Hopefully I do manage to eat and sleep properly if possible, it is not causing any problems or hindering my sleep, but I do feel like throwing up if I eat overly full. Doesn't really sound that pleasant to me and my stomach, but since I felt like crap so I went to eat some stomach medication a few minutes ago.

It's 11;40am, gotta report to camp at 7 am tomorrow morning for another night shift. Nights!

Justin

7th of November

Was supposed to go to the gym with people from Bravo, but I was feeling feverish the day before so I didn't go in the end. I just sort of made this day a rest day since I have been training non stop for the past 5 days. To add things up, I also had flu, I'm not sure if was from the vaccination jab or I was exposed to the dusty areas in the block :\

Still, I managed to crank out 222 push ups before the late afternoon detail, just that I was feeling a little crappy since I was supposed to be sleeping.

Recently a few things hit me pretty hard in the feels. Firstly is the fact that I got extremely jealous of this section mate. He has everything that I wanted, so I felt terrible even after a few days. Next is the relationship destroyer, called the horrible legend of the blue ticks. Yes, after many encounters with people who choose to blue tick me instead of giving me a simple reply, I am now actually expecting people to actually 'blue tick' me.

I haven't really talked to anyone on whatsapp or on skype for more than a week already. Fact is, I'm actually pretty amazed how some people can keep conversations going with people for months, while I am actually struggling to keep conversations going for more than a day. Oh well, I guess like always, I am the one that people forget or leave out all the time since they think it's okay.

On a side note, being left out has its minute perks. One of them is being able to do your favourite things without being judged, and another is that you are able to spend more time on personal achievements. Right now I'm doing 1 hour of mathematics every single day, and it is to get my head working after not touching work for 2 months. I'm also singing along to my favourite Korean songs with the lyrics that I have saved inside my computer. It's feel pretty good when you are able to sing a song that is of a different language when you don't even have proper knowledge of that language! :)

Alright, back to camp tomorrow morning! Gotta go to sleep soon:)

Justin

4th of November - Discipline

I once read a book about learning the art of understanding yourself better, and there was this one quote that I only recently recalled.

"In everything you do, all requires discipline. Even things that come right down to what you do daily, also requires discipline. If you have no discipline, then you can forget about achieving your goals or pursue your dreams. To understand yourself better, you must first master discipline".

Discipline is something that I have yet to understand in depth, let alone master it. I do fall into temptations pretty easily, as I succumb to the peer pressure around me, all around me in fact.

One example of starting to learn proper discipline, I actually signed up for a savings plan few months back just to make sure I learn the hard way of controlling my monthly expenditure. As a NSF, my monthly allowance is very little so I have to spend even lesser due to the monthly payment of the savings plan. Even though I have saved a decent amount, no amount is enough for my future. My future is going to be a rough one :\

Time to sleep, waking up at an ungodly hour to go to camp tomorrow morning :\ (had to rush through this post because it's super late and I have to sleep :\)

3rd of November

Freaking got locked out of the house because I misplaced my house keys, and I had a terrible stomachache from the breakfast opposite the base. Imagine enduring the pain and the huge urge to use the toilet, and I had to look for my mum that was somewhere in the neighbourhood. I managed to get into the house after getting my mum's key, and had a good shit :D

It's been around 4 days since I sat down and properly did some math while not getting distracted by the things around me. Unfortunately it only lasted for 45 minutes as my minecraft server was open and my friend was telling me to get some stuff built quickly. After playing some minecraft I headed downstairs for a very quick night workout. At the chip up bar, I saw this middle aged man practicing some Wing Chun and his basic form was GOOD, like no kidding. I really wanted to approach him and talk to him but I remembered it was disrespectful to interrupt someone while he/she is practicing the basic form.

I proceeded with my run instead of approaching that man. I don't know why today I tried running my usual 2.4 km speed, and I sort of almost collapsed just after the halfway mark. Had to stop because I sort of feared that I would collapse or something. I don't know whether it is because I didn't sleep well due to the overnight shift before or just that I haven't been running recently. Disagreed with the latter as I ran the day before mounting. Back at the chin up bars, I used the sit up station and cranked out 65 sit ups with all my might (my core is terribly weak), then I headed home to crank out 100 push ups before hitting the showers. 

216 more days before I ORD, sometimes I do tell myself, "It's been a while, but it has been a swift but rocky journey." From the permanent lack of manpower issue to the stupid BS that my PC and some of the perm staffs that give us from time to time made me pretty much immune to their barks and their unreasonable requests. Well screw them all, I'm just here to do my job and not to please them (meh). 

Alright, standby day tomorrow, hopefully no cockster take MC, or else I won't be able to come home tomorrow :\

1st of November

Here comes the 2nd last month of the year! :) Which also means that I've got less than 7 months before I ORD :DDDDDDDD

I woke up with my arms and chest aching because I completed an intense gym session with my army friends the previous day. We ended everything with a good meal at the nearby coffee shop, I had a plate of Roasted Chicken Breast rice with a cold drink before we all headed for home. Energy levels hit sub zero and I totally had no energy to do anything else so I opened my minecraft server for my friends to play on it while I went to take a short nap. Mum bought chicken chop for me while my brother got me a bowl of laksa, eat until super super full :D

So today I followed my parents to SAFRA since my dad had to do some sports admin stuffs there, while waiting I got myself a subway sandwich since I was super super hungry and I didn't want to wait all the way till my dad finished his work. Headed back home just in time for lunch, mum cooked for me my favourite home cooked food as I was watching some CS:GO funny videos before I went to do some math that I cracked my head over :\

So... 7 months left and I have to achieve my ultimate goal, which is to get gold for my IPPT. Still trying to focus on each station my working out bit my bit every single day. I have tried the daily 200 push up regime, unfortunately on some days I am unable to do because I'm on overnight shift. Therefore I compensate it by either doing more the day before or after I dismount from camp. My highest record so far is 355 push ups in 35 minutes, and I still remember I immediately fell asleep after I bathed :D.

My long weekend is finally over and I've got to go back to camp tomorrow morning for another 24 hours shift :\ This week ended pretty good after going through rough times mid week, and I'm looking forward to the new week ahead :)

Justin

30th of October - Re-ignited the feels

Till now I'm still not enlightened about one crucial question that I've always asked my friends but never got an answer. Some of my female friends told me this before, "Actually boring guys are good leh, in a sense that they will be super loyal to their girlfriend or wife in the future. For someone like you, I think your other half will be super blessed".

I was glad that their impression of me is a good one. However I do see an irony, a major one. If females say that boring guys make good partners, then why my friends leading monotonous but meaningful lives are being dumped by their partners one at a time? Even some of my friends, whom I know for more than 15 years, their character being of a pure soul, is also getting dumped by their partners. Those ladies that dumped my friends, went for guys that are more outgoing, spontaneous and people that knows how to party. 

I'm confused, like really.

Anyway it was around 5 pm, doing my shift work with Bryan. He was sharing about how he flopped things up when he was out dating with this girl of his, and there was one point when he said about what he was doing while driving his car. "You know when I was driving halfway, she fell into a deep deep sleep and her head was falling towards the direction of my shoulder. This is something that I always wanted, like when you're driving and the car stops at the red traffic light, you turn your head and look at how beautiful she is. It's something unexplainable".

A bad habit of mine, which is being jealous and also the frequent comparison of lives with my peers. I felt jealous after he shared his story with me. He has the things that I also want to experience, which I feel I might not be able to experience at all.

I felt absolutely terrible during dinner, so I didn't talk to anyone. Headed upstairs and forced out 160 push ups to cool my head off before going to sleep.

At least I did feel a lot better after waking up.

28th of October

Absolutely horrible mount that I just completed this morning. I was given an 8 pm to 4 am sleep break because I helped the sister section to cover duties. Felt a little pissed because I requested some of them to help me bring me my dinner as I was away on another post and no shift during dinner time so I couldn't go out to collect my own food. Furthermore they ordered McDonalds so I wanted to eat even more earlier as the sugar from the drinks will keep me awake at night. Sadly no one brought in the food or bothered to take over me. I even had to ask a sergeant to take over my shift for a short period so that I could go out to use the washroom and then collect my food.

The arms commander was also late so I got taken over 20 minutes later than usual, while the rest had already returned to the bunks to rest. I was already a little pissed but I just decided to go and get a shower before sleeping.

A headache later developed so I couldn't sleep properly, waking up almost every 5-10 minutes (yes). The weather was also terribly humid so I was sweating non stop while trying to keep myself warm from the fan that was constantly blowing on my lower body.

Endured until the end of the mount, and finally dismounted from camp. Drizzling slightly so I had to choing all the way to the bus stop opposite the base. Withdrew some cash but had to withdraw a higher amount because the machine wouldn't let me freaking withdraw the lowest amount avaliable :\ Slept all the way till late afternoon, did some math while playing some old school Runescape and not forgetting the music that somehow kept me pretty concentrated while doing math :)

I actually had the energy to do a quick 1.6km run under 7 minutes, and had to struggle my way to do 160 pushups in 14 minutes which was slower than usual. I guess it's the lack of rest :\ By the way, I'm very glad that I sort of made a new friend although I met her previously at a friend's 21st around 2 months ago. I have been tweeting her a little and I do hope that we can be friends soon :)

Alright I've got another 24 hours mount to do tomorrow, gotta sleep now :)

26th of October

I have been thinking about the semi-opened air bar that I went with 2 of my friends. Seems to be a pretty relaxing place, actually in fact it is one of the most relaxing places I've ever been other than my own home :D

I do need a break from all the overnight shifts that I have been constantly been doing in camp. One overnight shift every 2 days, with an extremely irregular sleep break. But at least food is provided so I get to save some money for my future expenses, and not forgetting good food muhahahaha. Long weekend is coming up and I might actually go back to the bar and maybe get a small drink again? :)

I have been thinking a lot about this lady recently. We both have some similarities, like our taste in music and also sadly, a medical condition. She's a very nice person and I feel that I can be good friends with her hopefully :)

Time to sleep, another overnight shift tomorrow. I might buy myself a good McDonalds breakfast after the whole thing ends.

Justin.

22th of October

The night shift was pretty fun as we had good snacks, and hot drinks to last us through the 12 am to 4 am shift. But the 2 hour + sleep break was terrible, when I woke up I was feeling so disorientated and dazed as my eyes wouldn't stop shutting. The breakfast provided by the camp was pretty decent though, ate at least 80% of the food given.

The bad part was after I left camp, I had to wait for at least 5 buses before I could bored as it was packed with students that were going to NP and SIM. There's one thing I can't understand when it comes to boarded buses. IF and only if the bus is super packed and there's clearly enough space for only ONE more person to board, but 9 F-ing people decides to board all at one go. After one of the nine people board, the rest will go back into the bus stop, with the ultra disappointed face. COME FUCKING ON, don't know how to AUTO is it? OR are they just bloody hell blind? If they know that only ONE damn PERSON can only board, then if there's someone waiting in front, then just wait for the next damn bus, God freaking damn it.

Reached home after one hour since the bus moved slower than usual, but glad that there was breakfast at home. Slept while AFKing in a game, then mum came home with lunch but I wasn't hungry so I slept again until around 2 pm. Woke up and watched Kitchen Nightmares on my com while trying to do some math. Feeling pretty guilty as I keep getting distracted by the show, and also about the fact that Gordon Ramsay could talk sense into the most stubborn, egoistic and arrogant restaurant owners in the US. Gordon Ramsay is one patient person, if it was me, I would have argued the crap out of them (Just saying, I 'm not really like that!! Or at least I try not to be a person that easily loses his temper._.).

Before dinner I went out for a run as I somehow emerged out of the laziness mood. The first 2 km was okay, but technically I walked a little in between as I had to stop while walking to the sports complex in SP. Ran 4 rounds around the track, and both my muscles behind the shins started aching real bad so I stopped to walk out of the complex and back onto the path at the roadside. I then ran around 400 metres to the zebra crossing that was close to the SP dorms, turned around and started the last 1 km run which felt like eternity (:\). Oh so many times I felt like giving up and to just walk for the remainder of the distance, but some how another voice in my head just giving me the pace to run as I moved forward leg after leg. Reached back safely, luckily I didn't black out or throw up since I ate lunch pretty late.

Just did 200 grueling push ups while listening to my favourite songs, so the pain didn't felt so, that painful? Haha ._.

So today was pretty okay, besides for the fact that I kept getting distracted while trying to do some math in the afternoon.

Some of my friends are going through tough periods, be it in school, at work, or suffering with an lifelong medical condition. Just wanna let them know that I'm rooting for them where ever they are, or what ever they are doing. Cheers to them :)

Justin