Untitled post 2

I think today was a pretty good day for me I guess(?) I woke up at 11+ because my mum shook me awake. Mum wanted to go to Sheng Siong at Commonwealth station, to shop and also to have lunch. But I wasn't hungry, so I obviously didn't eat. Mum went to buy stuff, I simply just followed her. 

Then I went to take away a Long John Silver's meal (OMG). I think I have gained 2kg(?) after eating it. Anyway at home, I went to on my com, played a skirmish on Red Alert 2, then chatted with Chew Bok on skype. Chew Bok just returned back home from Thailand, he bought some chewing gum back home. 

I actually wanted to ask him to look for some posters. Oh well, I guess he tried his best looking for them but to no avail. Anyway, Chew Bok wanted to play CnC with me, I agreed. Got owned pretty badly in the first few games, the later games was a little better. Mum went to cook laksa (YUM YUM) for dinner, and it really tasted like the one I ate at Katong Laksa. Furthermore, my brother went to buy Koi from Clementi. 

Basically it was a good meal. After dinner, I continued playing CnC with Chew Bok and Axel. Then I called Ryan to join in, before going to shower. After I showered, the weather suddenly became insane or something. The winds picked up speed, until it felt like a typhoon was coming or something. 

Anyway I went to watch We Got Married Khuntoria couple ep 45 to about ep 52. I think these few episodes were the best. There was this particular episode, Khuntoria had to play baseball. Victoria was the pitcher and Nichkhun was the hitter. After that, they went to spectate the baseball match. And there was this kiss time in which there was a Jimmy Jib camera randomly zooming on any couple, and they had to kiss each other on the lips. 

And out of luck, Khuntoria was zoomed it, and they had to kiss each other (for the first time). However, Nichkhun was too shy, since there were about 20000+ people there watching them. So he kissed Victoria on the cheek which was covered by the jacket's hood that she was wearing. The audience wasn't very satisfied so they wanted another kiss. Then again, Nichkhun couldn't bring himself to kiss her on the lips, so he just kissed the same way he did. 

And there was another episode where Nichkhun played the piano for Victoria at the roof top of the JYP building. I could see that Victoria was really touched and was almost on the verge of tears. It was the night before Nichkhun had to leave for Japan for 2PM's promotional activities. 

There are many episodes I would like to share about, but it's too difficult to express out in words here.

It's 2:42am in the morning, I shall get some sleep now.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

Untitled post

I don't know what should I put as the title for this post. Anyway I woke up feeling shitty and lovesick, I ate breakfast as usual. Bee Hoon and sliced fish cake with luncheon meat, and a cup of hot milo. My stomach felt okay after breakfast surprisingly. I went to play Red Alert 2 after breakfast, mum obviously wasn't happy because I was playing com early in the morning. I have been doing this for the past 1-2 weeks?

During lunch time, I went to watch a badminton match on TV with appa. Appa was like cursing and swearing at the China player, because my dad thinks he has an attitude problem, or acting too proud. Anyway one of the players of the defending world champion, Lee Chong Wei. I have watched him play before on TV, he is really awesome, like an agile monkey. He is able to take shots very quickly, making little mistakes and dominating the court easily. However I think luck wasn't on his side today, he lost to Cheng Long, his opponent from China whom my dad thinks is just a show off and got lucky when he won the defending world champion.

I went to play com, lie on my bed, repeated the process 3-4 times. Texted Shannon for a short while before heading downstairs for a run. After I finished running, I climbed up 29 floors and almost died halfway but I persevered. Went to bathe, ate chicken wing rice for dinner.

The lovesick feeling overwhelmed me again after dinner for some unknown reason. I was like thinking how did I even get past secondary school. I was very emo in my third and fourth year, because I kept having unrequited love. I kept loving someone but not getting the results that I want. I always told myself that I could always find someone and love her even more than the previous. Oh well I think I can mention names here since basically not one reads my blog.

The first person I liked was in Secondary 2, and her name was C (Oh well, I think for respect reasons, I should not put the full name online). C and I were classmates since Primary 5. We talked, laughed and studied together sometimes. She was kind and caring, and I think she is beautiful, she still is though but just that I buried my feelings for her in Secondary 3. In Sec 3, I found someone else. Her name starts with a B. B and I only talked for 1 hour, but I really enjoyed that 1 hour when we were together. I didn't even know her, neither did she. I opinion on her is that I think she is kind (duh), caring and also helps people in the first opportunity, and shes beautiful.

However she somehow found out that I had feelings for her, and she totally ignored me in the corridor whenever we walked past each other. Basically unrequited love for two straight times. Hated it alot, but I guess I have no choice but to pick myself up again and again.

Anyway after dinner, I texted Shannon again, and she told me she has a boyfriend now. I'm very happy for her as someone appreciates her and she accepted his feelings. As for me, I guess I will have to wait, 10 years or 20 years, I will still wait, wait for someone to come along and appreciate for who I am.

Shall stop here now, I'm super tired.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

23 September + 24 September

Don't ask why there is no post during the 23rd of September, basically I was too lazy to post something that day. Anyway I shall post 2 day's stuff in this post. Yesterday I woke up and went to watch We Got Married Khuntoria couple episode 24 onwards, then mum wanted to go out to IMM to eat lunch. I had no appetite, so I just followed mum to the Cafe(?) at level 1. Mum ate beef noodles, while I just sat and watch her eat. Later mum asked me to follow her to Daiso, in which I ended up walking more than 10+ times because I was purely bored.

Mum later went to Giant, my mood was much better, I went to buy some food for mum to cook. Went to eat subway for my lunch, then took a taxi home. At home went to maple for 5 mins, basically I didn't have the mood to game. I went to watch funny videos instead. After that it was dinner time so I went to watch TV while eating dinner. Then went to maple for 10 mins then I switched off my com. Texted Shannon, we chatted for quite a while, till 1am then I went to sleep.

Today I woke up at 10+ cause my mum forced me awake, mum came to my room and started slapping my shin, and told me to wake up since the breakfast was already cold. I just stood up, and felt the blood rush into my head, my vision blurred for 4 seconds, walked to the toilet, took my tooth brush and started brushing my teeth. I think my mind was subconcious when I did it, so I practically couldn't remember anything that happened. Went to eat Roti Prata for breakfast, switched on com and watched We Got Married Khuntoria ep 30 to about 40+.

Ate lunch in front of com, then went to lie on my bed for a short while, watched the sky from my bed, and then did some self reflection. After that mum and appa wanted to go out for dinner, so I followed them. My brother didn't want to go so he stayed at home and watched TV. We went to Alexandra Village, and I ate prawn fried rice :D while my parents ate XO sliced fish bee hoon soup. I hated the XO taste though, I am a person that hates beer, wine and alcohol. I actually don't plan to drink them, same goes for smoking. I hate the smell of smoke, and I just can't stand the smell of it.

Anyway I went back home after dinner, mum and appa went to people's park centre. I went to use com, and chatted with Janson for about almost 2 hours on MSN.　We chatted about quite abit of stuffs. From our recent lifes to which girls we have a crush on and even what we planned to do in the future.

Its 12:56am now, shall stop posting because I don't know what to post already.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

22 September

Today I woke up super duper early in the morning (5:30am) because of the imminent rain. The wind was so freaking loud until it kept me awake. I texted Shannon for a while then I went to have a light breakfast before planking on my bed and sleeping again.

I woke up at lunchtime, when the smell of chicken rice and the chilli sauce was so significant to my nose. Ate lunch, went to watch We Got Married Khuntoria couple. I finally found episodes 16 onwards, so I started watching from episode 16 onwards (of course). At 2pm, I went back to SP for the diploma plus talk, pretty boring though. I met Denis and my Wing Chun friends at the talk. When the talk ended, I met Zhi Sheng at the auditorium's exit. 

I went to buy Macs home to eat, then went to play Red Alert 2 Soviet Campaigns (I practically completed the entire 7 missions, took me 3 hours though). I didn't  eat dinner, but mum gave me a small bowl of porridge with meat floss. I was starving the whole time after dinner, I wanted to ear something but I decided against it. 

Went to play 2 matches of DOTA, used the Invoker, not bad game results. But I think I could really do better. Texted PiaoMin till about 1+. Now it's almost 2am, I shall get some sleep for the night.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

21 September

Finished playing DOTA, Just watched Penalty Shootout Show - Heart Is Beating, which had Super Junior's Donghae and Eunhyuk. It also featured a Russian-Korean goalkeeper. 

The first round of that show Donghae got eliminated, Eunhyuk amazingly scored against a Korean national goalkeeper. Basically Eunhyuk was awesome when he scored against the national goalkeeper. The entire audience was cheering when he scored. Oh yeah I forgot to post what I was doing yesterday.

Hmmm I actually kinda forgot why I was doing yesterday. If I'm not wrong, after lunch I was watching shows on YouTube, then Chew Bok wanted to play CnC with me, so I agreed to play 2 games with him. After that I went to open my iChat email to check my results, I was quite satisfied with my results cause I have reached my target :).

SP sent me an SMS inviting me to apply for Diploma Plus program, but obviously I'm not gonna sign up cause it's just gonna eat my parent's money.
Anyway after dinner I went to chat with Janson on msn, then texted PiaoMin till about almost 2am before going to sleep. 

Gotta sleep now, it's 1:53am and my eyes are gonna close any moment from now.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off*

Recovered :)

My cold finally recovered after about 2 days. I woke up only to find that Shannon texted me at 5:48am in the morning when she went to school. I checked my phone at about nearly 11 which was when I just woke up. Anyway mum went to wash the toilet so the scrubbing sounds forced me awake. I ate breakfast at around 11+ then ate lunch at 12:30, my stomach almost exploded. At 3, my brother came home because he had a half day at work in the army camp, so he went to buy back McDonalds for me.

At 4+ I went to school for Wing Chun and todays session wasn't really that bad, we had chatter and laughter after the training and we even planned to go out as a CCA next week for a dinner. I walked home feeling good, ate dinner at home and now writing this post cause I have nothing to do. I think I shall play a game of DOTA later.

Shall stop here for now, I'm going to play a match of DOTA now.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Bowling, Pool, Movie + cold D:

I woke up with a stupid sore throat and a cold, and after I woke up I couldn't stop sneezing. Mum went to cook early lunch for me since I was going out to meet friends later. I went to play some com games, Maple was having a small maintenance so I went to play DOTA instead. Not a bad game though, got 13 kills and 2 stupid deaths. The 2 stupid deaths came from the Doom Bringer (Lucifer), which casted doom on me when I was trying to run away. 

Anyway I left house about 1+, kept sneezing all the way till I reached vivo. Met up with Chew Bok, Axel, Bong, Venessa and PiaoMin. We had lunch at Long John Silvers, ten after that we went to SAFRA Mount Faber for bowling and pool. Bowling was fun, although I guttered a few times, I enjoyed it alot. Pool was fun, expect the fact that I my nose was giving me a huge burden. It practically became a leaking tap.

After pool we went to Tiong Bahru Plaza where Axel and PiaoMin went home. We met up with Aaron, and went to watch Johnny English together. The movie was hilarious, I was laughing most of the time, and completely forgetting my cold. After the movie, Bong and Aaron went home by bus, I followed Venessa and Chew Bok on the MRT. I alighted at Dover (of course), then I walked back home from there. 

My body totally felt like crap at that time, I was feeling weak, tired, hungry and very lovesick. When I reached home, I went to bathe, and ate flu medicine. I went to watch some SNSD live performances and Sooyoung's music videos when she debuted in a group called Route 0 in 2002. Felt a little better, went to watch some more videos, then switched off my com. 

It's 1:03am, I have to sleep cause I ate flu medicine and I'm feeling very drowsy now. 

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

18 September

Today I went to Janson's house to collect my CnC game, and I was overjoyed (of course) when my Red Alert 2 and Red Alert 2 Yuri's Revenge managed to work. Anyway after I re-installed CnC back on my com, I went to play maple for a while, while Janson played Dragon Nest, I looked at him as he played. After that I went for lunch as I was going berserk without food.

I brought my Tom Yam flavored cup noodles (yum yum) to his house to eat. After that his mum went to cook a small lunch for us. she cooked rice with sliced fish together with soup. I was amazed that the taste of the fish and the soup was exactly what mum has always cooked for me. We went to play against each other in a game of CnC after lunch, I got owned pretty badly.

Janson used GLA Toxin General, while I used China Nuke General. Janson broke through my defenses easily and destroyed my base like a hot knife through butter. Oh well, I guess I gotta work more in building better defenses. 

I left his house about 5+, reached home. My body was feeling pretty crappy, I felt extremely tired and lovesick. So I went to listen to Sooyoung's pre-debut music with Malina Takahashi. They debuted as a duo group called Route 0 in 2002 when Sooyoung was just only 12 years old. 

Anyway I found some of their songs nice so I went to download them. After that my body still feeling crappy, so I went to lie down on my bed, then Chew Bok wanted to play CnC with me so I joined him in a game. 

After that I went to watch Route 0's music videos. Sooyoung was really really beautiful at that time and she will forever be :)

I guess I gotta go and sleep soon,  my body is feeling crappy and really lovesick. Shall stop here for the night.

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off*

16 September

Okay it's 1:14am in the morning(?), I am supposed to be asleep, because my mum forced me to off my com (zzz). Today I didn't really do much things. I was told by my mum the day before that my grandma and granddad was coming over to our house. Hmmmm I guess it's their first time coming over.

Mum and dad went to settle the catering thingy (basically I didn't do anything). After lunch mum kept bugging me to go downstairs and run. But obviously I was too lazy so I ended up playing com (lol). 

I managed to level up my Aran to 125, and my Mechanic to lvl 94. Then I went to do the Bunny event jump quest thingy, in which I failed 100+ times just to get 10 successes. A waste of time, but the rewards were reasonably good. I stopped playing about 5, then unexpectedly, I fell asleep on my bed. I woke up at about 6+, went to eat dinner, then went back to play com again.

I seriously got a super boring life, but I guess I gotta change it myself though. After my terrible work experience, I decided not to work for the time being, I think the nest solution is to occasionally head outside for a run and climb up the stairs once in a while. I think I actually do enjoy the part when I climb up 35 floors then 6 floors down to my level. 

Anyway after dinner I was so bored till I decided to go back playing DOTA. I tried using a new hero, the Invoker. When I see others play it, I simply went WOW. The hero apparently has no ultimate, but in which, the Invoker has 3 elements and he can invoke (mix) them together, forming many different kinds of powerful spells. The spells that I like the most is the sun strike and of course the chaos meteor. 

I got bored of it so I went to watch We Got Married Pudding and Jelly couple. After that yeah, my mum came in to my room and went to bug me to off my com. In which I ended up lying on my bed and doing nothing besides creating this post. 

Although I have already slept in the afternoon (which means at night I can't sleep), I will just try my best to close my eyes and fall asleep. Shall get some rest for the night. 

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off*

16 September

Haven't posted about 3-4 days already, because I was too lazy to post, although I actually promised to post everyday about something. Oh well.

Anyway yesterday I went out with PiaoMin back to fairfield to collect her school magazine. Just nice it was dismissal time so I could see many of my NCC juniors walking out of the school compound. After we went to fusion to eat Pastamania. The meal cost me 11 dollars but I guess it was worthwhile. A 7 inch Hawaiian pizza with 3 pieces of garlic bread and 1 regular coke. 

Surprisingly PiaoMin ate about 2 times more than me, and she still felt hungry, oh well, I guess my stomach size is made out of sheep's skin(?). After that I took a bus from the bus stop opposite Fairfield. While waiting, PiaoMin called her friend (I think she is a sec 4 student). When I saw her, she looked rather decent to me though, when PiaoMin intro-ed me to her friend, I think I was rather shy so I just gave her a shy smile(?). 

Anyway when I reached her house downstairs, we went to the rooftop garden, then she gave a call to Randall (my sec 4 classmate) to join us. After a short while, Randall came with his skateboard, and told us to try it. Hmmm it was difficult though, we played and chatted till about 6 plus. PiaoMin wanted to spam pics so everyone agreed. After that PiaoMin went home, Randall walked home, while I waited for a bus.

Today I woke up at about 10.30, because I was awfully hungry. Mum cooked me breakfast then I went to use com (again). Got totally bored of it so I went to watch Star King on my phone.

Gonna take a short nap now, shall stop here for the moment. 

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

13 September

Today I was woken up by my mum washing the toilet, the scrubbing sounds were really loud so that woke me up real easily. I lied down on my bed and started watching We Got Married (Pudding and Jelly couple). Luckily the haze wasn't so bad today. Living on the 29th story can sure be a living hell whenever the haze comes, your eyes, throat and even your head can hurt badly (which basically was what that happened to me these 2 days). 

Anyway I had breakfast, then mum wanted to go out for lunch but I told mum to change it to dinner instead. I went to on my com (as usual), and I went to watch We Got Married Horror special, I absolutely loved that episode, especially the part when Jo Kwon and Ga In went into the "haunted" school. I was laughing my butt off because it was just too funny. 

After lunch I went to play 5 minutes of Maple, then 10 minutes of Dota (got totally bored of them). Mum obviously unsastisfied at what I am doing, So I set my com to sleep mode, and went to lie on my bed since the haze was giving me a mild headache. I went to play Zombie Highway on my phone, got bored of it, so I chatted with Shannon. But unfortunately she was out with her friends so I couldn't text her for so long, if not I will just be disturbing her. 

Anyway, today while watching the horror special of We Got Married, I really respect Yonghwa and Nichkhun hyung for protecting their wifes. Even in the most scary situation, both of them never used their wifes as a shield, instead they went all out to protect their wifes. I should really take them as my role model, so that I can learn from them. Speaking of husbands and wifes, I was watching the Pudding and Jelly couple, they planned out a hidden camera to scare Yoonji and her husband. Jelly really squeezed out her tears to really set the mood right, and Pudding was also very serious. Wow, that hidden camera was a huge success.   

Anyway, at night I went to play 2 matches of Dota with my brother, I treasured that time because we didn't really have any time to play together since he went into the army. He used Knight Davion (Dragin Knight) while I used Crixalis (Sand King). The first match we lost badly because I kept getting ganged, But the second match was much better because I had 13 kills and ZERO deaths (:D) 

It's 1:41am in the morning, I'm going to get some rest for the night.  

당신이 여자 사랑  

*Signing Off* 

Thursday

After I reached home from Malaysia, I was dead tired of course, so I went to use com, then chatted with Chew Bok on msn, and lastly game about 2-3 hours :)

This will be the shortest post in my entire blog because I don't know what else to post already.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Malaysia

This morning I woke up with my slight headache and my limbs aching from yesterday's Wing Chun PT. My parents decided to go over to Malaysia, and also to cut my hair (D:)
Anyway we took a train to Kranji station, then we took a Malaysian bus to the Singapore customs then blah blah blah. I reached Malaysia about 20 minutes later, we went to eat something, but of course, my stomach decided to become unstable, so I ate something light. I ate noodles with fried egg and luncheon meat, then mum and appa brought me to the hairdresser (D:) Appa went to look at sports shoes somewhere else, so mum and I went to cut our hair (D:)

The guy went to wash my hair and dried it (of course), then he carefully sliced some parts of my hair bit by bit, and obviously I was kinda worried that he would cut my hair wrongly or something. About 10 minutes later, he finished cutting my hair and I didn't like my new hair of course. Appa came back and we went to Macs to have something to drink. After we went to Old Town White Coffee to have a small meal, the Nasi Lemak's chilli was very spicy though (lol)

On the way back, mum and appa taught me how to come to Malaysia by myself next time. It wasn't that difficult after all. I reached home around 5+ and I was dead tired considering my aching limbs.

Now I think I'm gonna game for a short while, shall stop here for the moment.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Pissed off (again)

Today when I went to Piao Min's house with Chew Bok, Bong and Venessa, we went to take pictures with Piao Min's laptop. After that we went to play pool at Clementi Reacreation centre. After playing pool and taking loads of pictures, all of us agreed to go to Chew Bok's house to enjoy some more fun. But I needed my laptop so I decided to go home to take my laptop out to Chew Bok's house. I called my mum to tell her that I was coming home to grab my laptop.

But my mum wasn't really happy because she thinks that I am wasting money by going out and travelling alot. I have went out a total of 5 times including today. So I just told my mum that I was going out to Chew Bok's house to only play, its not like I'm going to spend more than a hundred bucks (I have never spent that much before). I really wanted to tell my mum back this "Since you say that, Fine, I will stay at home and not spend a single cent, and I wont also find a job since travelling also wastes money according to you"

So I was pissed with my mum when I left the house. I decided not to eat my dinner since I was too angry to eat. I went to play Dota with Chew Bok, it wasn't the first time I played with a friend so it wasn't so difficult to play. But I got ganged a few times by the AI Nevermore (Shadow Fiend) and Witch Doctor. The bright side was that I managed to kill them a few times using the mighty Crixalis (Sand King). We won in the end because of the good teamwork with Chew Bok. He was using Magnix (Pandaren Brewmaster), and all I need was the slowing down in speed and my burrowstrike (stun) and my Epicentre (Ulti) to kill enemy heros easily. If all else fails, Chew Bok uses the Primal Split (Pandaren Brewmaster's Ulti) to summon 3 freaking mighty Pandas to slice the s*** out of the enemy.

Anyway, now I'm pretty bored so I am going to play Dota now.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

SNSD, one my sources of strength.

Alright this post is really gonna sound very, very weird. So yeah, just saying first. I have been thinking about my pathetic love life for the past few hours. I had no mood to play com, and let alone DOTA. So I went to watch some SNSD variety shows on my com.

To all SNSD antis, no offense or any hard feelings, if you are an anti, then please stop reading this post. For the past few months, whenever I'm upset, angry or frustrated, I will watch SNSD videos because they never fail to make me smile. Even after I get so mad at someone or something, just watching their shows just lightens my mood by alot. 

I can proudly say that they are one of my favorite k-groups. Well some antis say that they are plastic, no talents, act pretty, but in the end, its all about personal preference. To me, if I don't like something, most of the time, I will keep the negative comments to myself. Lest I let it out and it upsets or angers other people. 

Sometimes I don't understand why some people just don't understand what is called personal preference. Oh well, I hope they will understand it someday. 

Back to SNSD, I have started liking each member more and more. Especially Seohyun, whenever I watch We Got Married, I love the way her eyes sparkle whenever she is deep in thought or concentrating on doing something. I also love how she respects other people especially YongHwa. 

If they was another girl just like Seohyun, I will be sure to chase after her all the way. Her character just attracts me alot. 

I also don't really know what else to post already, because this has been on my mind for an entire day so posted whatever I could post here. 

Shall stop here for the night and get some rest.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

IT fair! + Spamming pictures

Today I woke up at 8+ and I switched on my com since I had nothing to do. I went to play DOTA and surprisingly, my game results wasn't so bad after all. 16 kills and ZERO deaths :D

Anyway mum went to cook garlic sausage, eggs and bread for my breakfast today (yum yum :D) I gobbled it down, and went out to meet sister Venessa and Chew Bok at Redhill station. We went to City Hall, and of course, I went to eat my lunch. An Über fat chicken chop :D It was totally worth it. After that we walked to Suntec City to visit the IT fair. 

To cut the long story short, Chew Bok bought me a new mouse, and I bought a laptop cooling pad. Sister Venessa bought a new purple colour headphones for herself, and Chew Bok bought a iPhone 4 cover, and the rest of the items I forgot. After that we went to Chew Bok's house, and Chew Bok decided to spam pictures again :D 

I think we spammed about 80+ photos :) we left his house at about 4.40, since Sister Venessa had to go back to school for her CCA. So Chew Bok came to my house for awhile, and I showed him my morning DOTA game replay :D

Okay it's 1.31am in the morning, and I'm still trying to find out how to fit the mouse cover back ever since I took it out to place the batteries inside. Oh well, I gotta rest now because my eyes are ready to close any moment.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Thursday! :)

I have decided to make it a point to post everyday, if not 2 days for 1 post (in case I'm lazy) anyway today I woke up to find out that my mum went out to book badminton courts for my dad and his colleagues, and i went to play some games for a short while, until I left for Sister Venessa's house :) 

At the bus stop near my house, I sighed because I saw the 196 bus drove past, and it was the red man sign. However, a few seconds later, I saw another 196 bus behind, so I quickly ran all the way and fortunately I was able to catch the bus. 

To cut the über long story short, I had to change 3 buses in order to reach Sister Venessa's house. When I reached her house, I went to have some cup noodles that I brought from home. I went to play DOTA after eating, because the Tom Yam flavor was giving me an adrenaline rush (LOL). 

After that we went to practice dancing SHINee's lucifer, at the same time, I was jumping up and down (LOL again) I guess I felt high after eating the Tom Yam. Anyway Chew Bok came later, and of course we practiced dancing a bit more before we started watching movies on HBO. 

After that we decided to eat Macs since my stomach was ready to go berserk since there was no food inside(?) We went to order our own meals, and of course the most difficult part of the ordering was the waiting of the delicious food to come. The food eventually came (of course), and I gobbled down the food real fast. I think I took about 2-3 minutes to eat my burger (much much faster than expected)

I ate my fries but I couldn't eat finish so I gave them to Ryan, who ate the remaining fries at godspeed. I went back home since Venessa was having piano lessons.

After I reached home, I went to slack, then I went to switch on my com to play. At first playing DOTA wasn't really that bad, till I got real bored of it. So I switched to Maple, which I got bored of it after 3 minutes. So in the I went to play blackshot, and I sweared real loud in front of my com, until my dad came to scold me real loud (D:).

BUT swearing does work for me, when I had a good kill/death count at the last few games. Went to watch We Got Married, and felt sleepy so I switched off my com. 

Tomorrow will be a good day for me too :) So I shall stop posting now and get some sleep :)

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

President Elections + Exams D:

Okay so everyone is now talking about the recent Presidential elections, and how Tony Tan won Tan Cheng Bock by just a slight margin. Honestly, I didn't really care about whether who won, until my mum told me what each candidate wanted to do for Singapore. After that I decided to support Dr. Tan Cheng Bok, as he plans to be the voice of SINGAPOREANS instead of the PAP. Anyway today was the first day of my exam (luckily I only got 2 papers, when I first saw the paper, it didn't really looked as bad as I expected it to be.

In fact, I was able to do most of the questions, until my cold came in and disrupted everything. I remember sneezing countless times. The good thing was thing was that I was able to putt through the exam. After the paper, I went with Teng Kiat, Leon, Jonathan and Jmeen noona to FC4 to eat because I was hungry. As usual I ate my favourite food, sliced fish bee hoon with tom yam soup :), and not forgotting a cup of iced milo :D

After the meal, I went home to relax because I revised for PEEE (Principals Of Electrical and Electronic Engineering) the 2 weeks before the DE paper, but of course I can't slack just because I studied 2 weeks ago. Anyway I took a small nap after dinner, and I directly went to play Maple, but after playing 5 minutes, I got bored of it. So I went to watch We Got Married, I gotta admit, Seohyun's eyes sparkled whenever she is deep in thought, or when concentrating in doing something. I gotta envy YongHwa hyung as he gets to be in this kind of program.

The next day I woke up due someone in the house talking loudly, I can't remember who was it, but I just woke up. Then I went to watch We Got Married (again), but this time it was a different couple. It was 2PM's Nichkhun and f(x)'s Victoria. My first opinion was that , they looked real good together, although Victoria noona is one year older than Nichkhun, but they still got along well together.

Then my dad came to my room and he sort of was a little pissed (could tell with the heavy, displeased breathing). So I got up from my bed and started revising (although I wanted to continue watching We Got Married on my phone, oh well) Anyway, I started watching a new series of We Got Married today. Its the GaIn and JoKwon couple, and the first episode was so interesting until I kept watching it and obviously forgetting to study.

I HAVE to study now, if not tomorrow will be hell for me.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Saturday

Today I was one hour late in meeting Ryan in school to study, because the weather was totally perfect for sleeping, especially in the morning when the conditions are perfect for sleeping. I was supposed to meet Ryan at nine, but it was nearly 10 when I reached school and met him. At first the studying went well, but later into the session, I felt there was a blizzard going around me. The giant fan above my head plus the cool weather, which of course resulted in a cold D:

It was about one when my stomach decided to remind me to eat, however theres was no food court open in the school since it was a weekend. So I walked to the MRT station where there was a 7-11 outlet. I bought chips and my favourite Slupee, since I haven't drank it for ages, it felt like I was drinking pure spring water obtained from the mountains. Ryan later went to buy cup noodles for me since I was still hungry. I compiled all my notes today and then I tried out the sample papers, and wow I could do most of the questions :D I was kinda proud of myself for once. Anyway there were some questions here and there which I could not do, tomorrow I must do those questions which I do not know how to do, and clarify all doubts by tomorrow, so monday I can just simply go to school and refresh my memory :)

Anyway Ryan decided to spam Venessa on skype, and after 15 mins of spamming, Venessa told us she just completed her vocal lessons over skype, and her teacher was from Las Vegas, the name is Greg Enriquez or something. Anyway I was kinda amazed her teacher was actually from Las Vegas. The word globalisation came to my head the moment she told me her teacher was from the US. After lunch I studied for another half an hour, then Ryan decided to play CnC. So, I joined him of course :P We played King Of The Hill and basically I just kept nuking the enemy because they kept irritating me again and again. After playing we went to sit down at the empty space between T18 and T17. Like yesterday, we chatted about many funny stuffs and also played with our phones.

1 hour later, the sky threatened to rain again, so I went home quickly. At home, the wind was OMG, it was very strong, cooling and lastly comfortable. So obviously I took a nap to regain my energy for the night.

Its 1:23am now, and I should be getting some sleep because I have another day of revision tomorrow :)

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Concussion + spoiled internet

I took a nap from 7pm to around 7:40pm, and when I woke up, the part where my head hit the wall 2 days back was aching a little, but I think the concussion in my head will last for quite some time though. I was rather sleepy and hungry when I woke up, so I wen to the kitchen and chewed on some bread and ham. My internet was down, so I had no choice but to use the Cisco AnyConnect Client(?) <-------- (not so sure of the name though). The last time I used that client thingy, was before my AutoCad lab test a month back. The client lagged up my entire computer until AutoCad crashed about 2 - 3 times when I was practicing it. Surprisingly, the client did not lag my com, it even provided the internet as quick as my home's. I studied for another 1 hour+, then Ryan MSN-ed me to ask me to play CnC with him. I quickly agreed but however, our game systems had glitches so we were unable to play together D: I decided to play a game by myself, and the results were not really that sastisfying because my defenses were broken through many times D: In addition the enemy para-bombed my base --------------> = money gone D:

Anyway now I'm waiting for tomorrow to come because I will be going back to school to do the sample papers and also to enjoy last few moments with my brothers and sisters before they head off for their holidays after our exams. Luckily, Sister Venessa isn't going anyway so I can go her house when I'm bored!!! hahahaha. Mum went out for dinner with her friends so my and my brother were at home since around 6+.

My brother was complaining about the internet since it was down for 2 days and StarHub didn't do anything about it even though my mum called StarHub multiple times. Appa came back from his bowling practice with high spirits because I guessed he had a good game. But his high spirits was ruined after he found out that StarHub did not do anything at our spoiled internet, oh well I can't really say anything about it, because when my dad gets pissed, nothing will be nice. Oh well, my dad has been like that since? I don't know.

Apparently my dad and mum were discussing about our spoiled internet yesterday night and then I was wishing that it could be fixed by today. I secretly wished it was fixed by today because I wanted to play Maple, I made a small deal with my guild master and promised him to complete the task by TODAY, but because of my spoiled internet, I risk getting kicked out of the guild D:

Now I'm watching anything I can watch on TV since my laptop's entertainment levels has hit the floor ever since my internet was down. D:

Shall stop posting here because I don't know what to post already.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Friday

Yesterday night I arranged to meet Ryan in achool at 8am. I set my alarm to wake me up at 7 today, however I only remembered setting 3 alarms. This morning, I heard about 10 - 12 alarms. When I looked closely on my phone, it was Ryan calling me. I lazily answered my phone and told him that I was late (obviously), after he put down the call, I saw that he had called me for about 9 times (which basically explained why there were so many 'alarms' that morning, oh well)

I zoomed all the way to school, I reached 5 mins earlier than the usual 15 minutes because I couldn't keep him waiting. We ate breakfast at Macs at about 9, and we went to the 3rd floor of the main library. It was totally deserted (yes, really deserted), I went to study 2 hours of DE, then I went to watch We Got Married on the net, I had a good laugh while watching. At around 2+ I went to have lunch with Ryan at FC2. Ryan told me he didn't want to eat at first.

But within seconds after I started eating, he suddenly stood up and said that he was going to eat. We chatted as we ate, after that we went to the empty space in between T17 and T18. And we chatted again about all the funny moments about our childhood, I also had a good laugh on that especially when Ryan told me about the times when he stayed at Heritage View. Especially when he told me about the lawn mower and the crow that was sliced by the lawn mower. Ryan's exam starts at 4 so I left about 3:45 so that he could refresh his memory the last few moments before his exam.

I left for home, only to find out that my internet is still down (2 days already), looks like I will be out of action for another 2 - 3 days. BUT the goodside, I am able to concentrate on my studies for the up coming exam :) So I guess that is not really a bad thing though. I'm gonna take a nap now because I'm rather sleepy. Shall stop here for now.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Wed and Thursday (Continued)

After we met, we took a bus back to Fairfield, at the guard house, the security guard didn't let Brother Chew Bok in because he was not wearing shoes. So Sister Venessa and I went inside and collect the school magazine. I was kinda surprised when they handed me a CD and told me that was the school magazine, and at the same time, a thousand thoughts came inside my head.

Was the school trying to be creative for once or is the school just trying to be cheapskate? Anyway after we collected the CDs, we headed to Fusionopolis to have lunch. I saw many Fairfield students which reminded me of my secondary school days in which after school I would join Sister Venessa, Brother Chew Bok and Brother Ryan Silver for lunch over there. We ate at 18 chefs(?) <------------- I can't remember the name of the restaurant because its the first time I'm eating there. I ate Pasta with Tangy Tomato sauce with chicken sausages, and the Tangy Tomato sauce was awesome, better than most pastas I have eaten in my whole life. The meal also included a FREE iced lemon tea and cookies and cream ice cream!! All for only $6.40!!! I was glad they introduced me this restaurant because its super cheap and the food is great :) After lunch, we walked from Fusion back to my house where we decided to spam some pictures because we had nothing to do. I think we spammed about 90+ pictures :) Here are some of them (I decided to put some pictures in my blog because I felt it was something new to my blog)

The first few pictures taken (testing testing)

Major height difference :D

ME and Sister Venessa :). Apparently after Brother Chew Bok tagged us, everyone said we looked like sisters. I was like WHAT?!?! To prevent any misunderstandings, I.AM.NOT.A.GIRL.ITS.JUST.THAT.I.HAVE.LONG.HAIR. Oh well I guess its really time to cut my hair after 7 months+

I shall cut my hair after my exams, because no one really cuts their hair after exams because they would be busy playing and enjoying themselves.

Oh yeah don't ask why there is only 3 pictures out of the 90+ plus pictures we spammed. It's gonna take me years to post every single picture down so I decided to post the best 3 pictures out of the entire folder of 90+ pictures.

I will stop posting here because I'm too tired to continue posting.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Wed and Thursday

These 2 days I could say they were pretty good and bad days for me. Firstly I woke up at around 7:55 (naturally woke up), and then disaster struck. I sat upright and stared into blank space. Then the next moment, I lied down full force on my pillow, expecting it to have a soft landing, but then, I hit my head hard on the wall. The resulting impact instantly woke me up, and I was like, what just happened to me? Anyway, my friend who visited SP for this week texted me early in the morning because he was unable to use the school's internet because he didn't have a SPICE account.

Anyway my friend was called Yong Keen. Yong Keen asked me why can't he access the school's internet. So I sent him a text immediately asking him whether it was spwireless or wireless@sg. However, Sister Venessa replied to me, I was very surprised. So I told sent a text to Sister Venessa telling her it was a mistake. However Yong Keen replied to me this time, and I realised that I sent Yong Keen and Sister Venessa wrong messages. What a huge blunder! The disaster did not stop here, later at around 11am, when Sister Venessa asked me where to meet so that later Brother Chew Bok can join us to go back to our secondary school to collect our school magazine.

So I told Sister Venessa to meet at 12pm near the Convention Centre, at the same time I asked Brother Chew Bok where he was since his exam ended. However minutes after I sent Sister Venessa the text message, I realised I sent Sister Venessa the text message which was meant to be sent to Brother Chew Bok.

Looks like the concussion in the morning is taking its toll on me, judging from the severity of the concussion and the number of text messaging mistakes I made today.

Shall stop posting here, gotta study :)

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Study day

Today I went to NP to meet up with Brother Chew Bok and Leddin, I reached NP and that place was completely foreign to me. I had lunch and during lunch, I heard someone played Taeyang - Wedding Dress and River Flows In You - Yiruma on the piano near us. I gotta admit, I was completely mesmerized by that beautiful music, I hope to play that to my girlfriend next time. However, I totally suck in playing instruments, so I gotta take up lessons if I really want to play that song in the near future.

After that I went back to SP to have dinner with Chew Bok, then Venessa joined us after I ate finish my meal, then we headed to CASS (T19) and sat down near the cafe. We chatted and decided to spam picture <----- (haha it was a long time since we did that in Secondary school) At about 7:15, Venessa had to leave for home, so I walked home by myself. When I reached home, I bathed and had a small bowl of cereal (yum yum)

I switched on my com and I tried studying for DE awhile, then I chatted with Venessa and Chew Bok on oovoo for almost 2 hours+ (haha I laughed so much while chatting with them, especially on the part when Venessa was eating in front of the webcam, I almost died laughing on the way she was eating) Then I went to watch a variety show on my phone.

I realised that I had a new ideal girl. She is Seohyun from Girl's Generation, I like her because she is so cautious, thorough in everything she does, and she is kind, loving and caring. Lastly I think she is really beautiful (basically she fits my description and criteria for my ideal girlfriend)

BUT, the downside is that I would never be able to meet her, so I guess its all just wishful thinking. My life has been sucky since the start of poly. There were happy times but the amount of sad times is just overwhelming, and I am going berserk when I just think about them.

Oh well, I just gotta blame on my lousy luck, no matter how many times I complain about why is it me who gets the bad luck.

Its 12:32am, I'm tired so I'm gonna get some rest for the night.

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Love life (Part 1)

Sometimes, I just really wonder about alot of things. Questions pop up inside my head every now and then. The most common questions that I always have inside my head is that, how does it feel like to be accepted by the girl you like? How can you love and feel loved by the person you love? What is the feeling when you get a hug from the person you love?

These questions pop up in my head, but time after time, I am unable to answer them. However, I sort of got the slight feeling of giving a hug to my girl in a dream. I remember clearly it was near a jetty, and that my girl was crying, hard. And that very moment, I just stretched my hands out, and hugged her. I wanted her to feel safe, and comforted at the same time. I wanted to give all my love to her.

That very moment, a large tsunami came, we ran for our lives. I held her hands and ran all the way, not looking behind. Suddenly I heard a loud thud. I realized that she had fallen to the ground, I ran back to save her, but only to realize that it was too late to run away from the waves. So I hugged her tight, and I said to her, "I will never leave you, even in the brink of death" I closed my eyes, and she closed hers, and the next moment I could feel the cold water over my shoulders and my entire body. Even as the waves swept us away, I did not let her go, as promised.

That very moment, I woke up, and I was relieved but sad at the same time. I was relieved that this did not really happened, as it all occurred in a dream. However, I was sad because only then, it will prove how strong my love for my girl will be. I don't think any one right now will understand how much I am going to love my girl. 

Another thing that is burdening me is my hover hand syndrome. I just have this fear of touching girls. Even if it's only placing on shoulders, I still have the hesitation of placing my hand there. I guess that's gonna be one of my big problems in the future when I do get a girlfriend. 

Anyway it's 1:15 am in the morning now, I better get some rest because tomorrow will be a day of revision for me 

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Disappointed with myself

Eternity has passed and I finally decided to post something because I can't sleep. 12:58AM and I should be fast asleep, BUT my hungry stomach and my heart refuses to let me sleep. 

Anyway the good news for the next 3 weeks to come is that there will be no more lessons in school, meaning that I can slack more(?) I remember about something weeks ago, I was at Brother Janson's house celebrating National Day. I was surprised as I could remember almost all of the commands they executed even though it has been about 1 year since I graduated from Fairfield NCC. Anyway when the National Anthem was played and the helicopter with the flag flew past, I could not help but just go out to his house's balcony, and salute to the direction of the Singapore Flag. 

I just couldn't help but salute because of what my country has provided for me and my family for 16.8 years on my life. And to repay my country, I WILL serve NS with the fullest of my ability and pass out as a top grade 3rd Sergeant. Anyway to me the best part of the Parade was the marching in of the G.O.H (Guard Of Honours). I am not surprised on the discipline and precision of the men marching, because they are chosen out of thousands of other soldiers to march during NDP, therefore their standards are one of the highest out of the entire cohort of soldiers. 

Anyway back to my pathetic life, I had no more AutoCad lessons so after PEEE lecture, I went to SP colours library to go and study with my classmates. 1 hour into the session and they were like playing Sushido(?) Sushido is a game on Viwawa <---- (a gaming website) I gotta admit I suck at these kind of games because I guess those weren't the right games for me. 

Now to my love life, after weeks and weeks of confused feelings, I have decided to continue scouting  for another one. But this time, I have set the standards to even higher ones so that my heart won't take just anyone in. I gotta admit scouting for one sucks because you look and feel like an idiot when you are scouting for one. Next, the more you can't find, the more desperate your heart gets. 

Your heart will become as confused as your mind is, and that feeling absolutely SUCKS. Anyway these few days sucked for me. Especially on Thursday. It happened during IE (Intro to Engineering). I was troubleshooting the circuit board because it refused to work. So I used the soldering iron to clear off any burnt solder and also to make a clear path in between the "lanes" of the circuit board so that it will reduce the chances of a short circuit. 

I eventually gave up because the circuit board couldn't work again. I realized that Faiz was learning how to play DOTA too. So I went over to see how was he doing. Since I'm a beginner too, I decided to join him in a game. Henderson, David and Jonathan joined in later, and I got owned obviously.

But the point was that when Leon succeeded in making the board work, I was happy at first. However I suddenly felt extremely disappointed with myself. There he is working his ass off to help the both of us pass this project, and there I am playing DOTA. I obviously don't think thats right. After lunch, the disappointment and the guilt got the better of me and I just left for home immediately.

It's been about a day since I reflected on what I did, and I promise to myself, I will never ditch a teammate, friend and most importantly, the girl whom I love the most. I will help people with the best of my ability and most importantly, love and care for my girl.

당신이 여자 사랑.

*Signing Off*

Weekends

It's has been another 1 week since I posted something. It's 11:20pm now and I'm lying on my bed just reflecting on what I bloody did today. Its seems that I did a terrible mistake, actually to other people, it may be just a minor mistake, but to me, it's like bothering me every moment. 

Today I woke up at around 10 because I was awakened by the smell of the McDonalds breakfast that my mum bought home. I applied about half the amount of sweet syrup on my HotCakes. OMG how many calories was that, I really gotta stop eating sugar for the time being. 

After breakfast I really wanted to continue studying from where I have stopped yesterday. But my computer was just too tempting, and unfortunately, I succumbed to the temptation and I went to play maple. Today's biggest mistake was that I have played computer games for more than 14 hours today.

I myself couldn't believe that I actually played 14 hours of com. I seriously felt like crap just now when I was playing maple just now. To make matters worse, my buddy Chew Bok actually asked me to play CnC (Command and Conquer) with him. The shittiest part was that I actually agreed to play. I played together with Janson and the 3 of us won (of course). But what was the cost? Right now as I am typing this post, I'm feeling extremely exhausted and crappy. 

I guess I better get some rest soon, or tmr I won't even have the strength go even get up from my bed, let alone go to school. 

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Confused

It's has been eternity (1 week) since I last posted something, I guess I was too lazy to post, and to be completely honest, I almost forgot that my blog even existed (LOL). Anyway last nowadays, Shannon is the one that always wakes me up early in the morning by just SMS-ing me, and of course the ringtone of my phone will wake me up. 

Anyway, I guess I have gotten a little better in DOTA (Defense of the Ancients). At least I know when to assist and kill at the slightest opportunity. And of course, the hero that I know how to use the best is Yunero (Juggernaut). 

These few weeks, I realized I am getting happier with my poly friends, but sometimes I do get frustrated because of some minor issues. Today I had to go to school because I had to finish up my IE (Introduction to Engineering) project, which consists of soldering a few components. I got up from my bed and my injured legs (especially my knees), were taking it's toll on me. I dragged me feet to school, and Leon texted me telling me that they were at food court 4. However, I mistaken what Leon said (more of forgot) and I went to food court 2 instead, when I entered the food court, I was wondering why I couldn't find them.

So I gave them a call and asked them why I couldn't find them. Until Jmeen noona told me that they were at food court 4 all along. In other words, I made a huge blunder and I had to walk all the way to food court 4, while carrying my toolbox and enduring the pain coming from my injured legs and knees. While walking to food court 4, I was fuming mad until to the point I was ready to go berserk. I blamed myself of my own stupidity and on why I did not realize I was at the wrong place. So when I met them, I refused to eat, my frustration levels were at it's peak when I met them because I know I didn't want to eat at food court 4, but I wanted to actually eat at the McDonalds outlet at the Triple E building. 

So after Leon, David and Jmeen noona ate finish their food, I went to eat McDonalds breakfast (HotCakes with sausage and an upsized Milo), I gotta admit, I never felt happier after I ate everything down. After that we all moved to the Spectrum's top floor. We found a table and we all started using our lap tops since the IE lab that has free access only opens at 1. Leon then suggested playing DOTA. we all agreed. Anyway I was kinda surprised when Jmeen noon actually wanted to play DOTA with us. 

As usual I played Yunero (Juggernaut), with high spirits, I thought I could get a good result in that game, since it was partially an in-house game. However I was wrong, David pwn-ed the shit out of me, killing me 7 times. That was when I realized how lousy I was in DOTA.

After that game, we moved up to the lab and settled down ourselves before starting to finish up our circuit boards. Since Jmeen noona didn't know how to do her circuit board, she asked Leon to help her, while I continued me and Leon's group assignment. At the start, it wasn't so bad because I simply desoldered those bad parts. But later when I had to solder the VCC part into the board, I started getting frustrated as the solder entirely stuck together. So basically I resoldered it again and again.

Anyway I left about 3+ and went back home to have tea break. My legs were killing me by the time I was at my house's doorstep. After eating my teabreak, I went to play DOTA public game, as usual I got flamed again and again for not working properly with my teammates. Oh hell, I was really demoralized, it looks like I will forever be a noob in DOTA I guess?

Today I woke up at around 9+ when my mum told me to go and cut my hair, obviously I couldn't say no to my mum, so I reluctantly agreed. I had a light breakfast since I had breakfast very late because I was lazy to get out of my bed.

Anyway Shannon texted me to wake me up. She had to go to school for the national day dance rehearsal in my secondary school. Haha I could vividly remember the time she asked me why I didn't have a girl friend. It got pretty awkward at first, since it's the first time a girl actually asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend. 

So I replied her that I was still scouting for one. I think none of my friends know who I even like now, besides I can't and I will never tell that person my feelings for her, instead, I will just watch her from afar as she goes into happiness. As for me, I guess I'm a pretty impatient person. Whenever I see couples happily holding hands and waking together, I get very jealous of them. It's because I just wonder why can't I be as happy as them?

But if I sink too deep into these thoughts, I will just end up being selfish because I know love can't be forced. Many of my friends tell me that in Poly, it's easy to get a girlfriend. However, I'm not getting the results I am expecting. Therefore, I am still gonna wait, and continue scouting for the right one for me. 

It's 1:13am in the morning, I'm gonna stop here because I'm too tired to continue posting. 

당신이 여자 사랑

*Signing Off*

Open House

Okay it looks like I haven't blogged for about 4-5+ days already, cause either I was too tired to blog, or maybe I guess I was just lazy. Anyway today I had to wake up early because I had to go school for an open house. When I reached school, there were many parents and students accompanying their parents. My mum and I went to sit down on at the auditorium

Basically that day we talked to our personal lecturer on about the module options for year 2 and also the industrial attachments that we will be receving.

*Signing Off* (Don't ask why this post is so brief and short)

End of week + weekend part 2

After I reached back to Bishan station, I went to meet up with Wei Jie and a few others. They were playing arcade so I went inside the arcade to meet them, however we got chased out because apparently I was wearing the SP T-Shirt, so I couldn't go inside. I went to Popular Bookshop and I was scouting for language tutorials as I wanted to pick up basic Korean but I always failed to find those with standards (those which I could understand)

After that, we went to eat lunch at Long John Silvers, William (Wei Cheng) and I went to order first, Faiz and Nazrinn ordered their meal after us. After lunch I went to call Leon to meet up with them cause Wei Jie had to leave early. After that I went to return my donation bag to the counter and then I took a train home. On the way I chatted with Leon with something about our class.

When I reached home, I was dead tired so I went to take a short nap, Shannon was in Indonesia so I couldn't text her if not I will pay extra charges (zzz). Anyway I decided to use my com all the way till midnight, I was expecting some good things to happen to me in maple today.

Basically I used com all the way till about 12+ before going to sleep.

*Signing Off*

End of week + weekend

I could say that this week is reasonable good and bad for me. The good thing about this week is that I got back my Structured Programming lab test, I passed with flying colours with a score of 96/100. The bad thing is that I'm gonna have a hard time doing my GenEd project, cause I will be cracking my head on how to properly allocate the work. Anyway yesterday I went out of dinner with my parents at some Thai restaurant near Alexandra Vilage.

I could say, the food wasn't pretty bad after all. The fish and the Tom Yam soup was the best out of what we ate for that dinner. Anyway after dinner I went back home to use my com and I of course, went to play maple for a while, surprisingly I managed to up 60% that night by chionging Rex party quest. I went to chat with Shannon for a while before I went to sleep. What caught me by surprise was that she told me to call her a princess(?) Anyway I did I was told to (which is to call her princess whenever I text her), and she would call me a prince(?) in reply.

Today I woke up at 6am because I had to do a flag day at Bishan, I reached about 7:15, and I sat down there like a retard. About 20 minutes later, I saw Leon and Jmeen noona. Okay I really felt absolutely retarded and stupid for coming extremely early for this flag day. Anyway, this flag day wasn't a pleasing experience for me. For the first 1.9 hours, I followed Jmeen noona and a few others to Ang Mo Kio hub to do our flag day.

At the start, we first took a train to Ang Mo Kio station and we went to look for stuff to do. We ended up wandering around for almost 2 hours. Then at one point we saw a familiar face from 1B/21. Then Si Jin decided to stay with him to do flag day together. Jmeen noona, Leon and David decided to buy Koi to quench their thirst(?) Anyway, I felt kinda bad to not do daly day, because I saw other handicapped people putting in effort to do their part for the children's handicapped association.

So after some consideration, I decided to do flag day together with Jonathan and Si Jin. Half an hour later, I decided to give up because no one wanted to donate any money to me, so I called Wei Jie as I wanted to meet them up in Bishan. So Si Jin and I walked back to Ang Mo Kio station. Along the way, I saw Edwin from 1B/21, and Si Jin decided to stay behind and continue doing the flag day.

Okay I am kinda tired and I need some sleep for the night.

*Signing Off*

Thursday

Today I woke up at 5.50 as usual because Shannon texted me to wake me up, then she went to talk about what happened in school the day before. Actually the real reason why I woke up early because downstairs of the block where I live at, some one was fumigating the area, so the noise practically woke me and my mum up. Anyway, after my dad and my brother left the house, I went to switch on the com and started downloading songs.

I went to change my ringtone from 2pm's I'll Be Back, to SHINee's Lucifer. I guess I got tired of my old ringtone so I decided to change to something better(?). Anyway, when Shannon reached school, she went to talk to her upper sec friends, so I didn't text her, and I went to play one of the campaigns of Left 4 Dead, which was utterly boring, anyway I laid on my bed for a little while then I went to watch abit of SNSD's Hello Baby on my phone, then I watched the same episode of Invincible Youth in which Sooyoung <------- (:D) was featured in.

"Sooyoung so cute" was what I thought when I was watching the entire episode. I headed to school after that. I reached about 25 minutes before the lesson started. The first lesson was a 4 hour practical (sian), and then currently it's been only about 2.5 hours into the practical and I got to survive about 1.5 more hours with an empty stomach. I guess its all about my willpower.

Well, gotta stop now, I'm too hungry to continue.

*Signing Off*

Tuesday

Today was a reasonably good and a reasonably bad day for me, I was feeling down the whole morning, my left eyeball hurts for no apparent reason, but the main reason was my confused heart and mind. Till now, I still don't know who to choose. However, I thought over again and I came with one half of the solution. Since I will never get a chance to meet that person, I will just continue being her fan, supporting her from behind.

As for the other person, I will not tell her my feelings for her, instead I will just watch her from her, as she gets happiness. As for me, I think I will just wait, maybe in the distant future, someone will appreciate my love for her, and I hope will love me as much as I love her.

*Signing Off*

Monday (continued)

After AutoCad lesson, I stayed back after class to finish up my AutoCad individual assignment with the help of Jonathan. When I was doing halfway, Sam and Faiz came back to the room to finish up their team assignments. We chatted as we were doing our own stuffs, I was having a great time laughing together with them. After finishing my assignment, I walked back home.

While walking back home, I thought long and hard. Should I forget the girl that I might not have a chance to even meet her? Or should I forget the one which I can talk and meet up with her? My mind was in a turmoil, my mind just couldn't stop thinking about both of them, and what my decision will be.

Sometimes, I just think to myself, Am I the only one that likes two girls at once, and unable to make a choice? I just don't know.

*Signing Off*

Monday

Okay, I got a boring Digital Electronic tutorial lesson, and then the lecturer kept walking around so I couldn't play games in case the lecturer actually found out that I was playing. Anyway, before the tutorial even started, I went to play abit of maple. I was kinda surprised that the Mysterious Path 3 map was actually empty when I arrived. I trained for about 7 minutes until I felt super bored.

I went to watch some funny videos on my YouTube channel, then I went to show Jonathan some of them, and of course, we had a great laugh. David then suggested that we play a fast game of Dota (WTF mode), I agreed and within 3 minutes of the game, I destroyed 2 towers, (pretty fast eh? <---- it was in WTF mode so its kinda obvious).

Anyway this morning I woke up at about 6am when Shannon texted me on her way to school, she talked about those irritating attire checks in school (I hated them too, the teachers always target me for my long hair). And honestly I didn't know that she stayed in a semi detached house (3 stories, which is about 2.8 times larger than the house that I am staying in). Shannon actually told me to come back to fairfield to help out with my CCA.

At the same time, she can meet me for the very first time :P. She was telling me the previous week that she wanted to meet me quite badly, I also don't know the reason why.

Okay AutoCad Lesson is starting soon, gotta stop soon.

*Signing Off*

Weekend

Okay I was supposed to do my project work allocation today, but I just got distracted by Sooyoung today :) I was watching Invincible Youth on Youtube and even the village chief thinks that Sooyoung is pretty :) haha I guess I'm not the only one that thinks so. Anyway, today wasn't a very good day for me, cause I destroyed my scarlion boss hat in maple (zzz), and that was the first time I got so desperate in getting money just to buy the scarlion boss service so that I can get my helm back.

I ate lunch at about 2 because me and my brother refused to go out to buy lunch, so in the end, my mother just went to buy lunch for all of us. I ate lunch and then I tried to do some of my project allocation, and then I got distracted by the girl that I like right now. Well, I think she is happy at where she is right now, with a bunch of new friends and without me.

Anyway, I was looking at some of SNSD's variety shows, and there was this show called Invincible Youth. I watched about 4 episodes, I was happy when I was watching it (okay I think I sound like a mad man when I say this). Okay I think I am really crazy for liking two girls. Gotta choose only 1, that one who I can meet, or the other one who I may never have a chance to see in real life.

Well I guess I will need sometime to think about it.

*Signing Off*

Quotes

"With every step you climb another mountain, every breath is harder to believe" Seems familiar? This is one of the sentences in one of Adam Lambert's song, No Boundaries, in which it refers to how a person's dreams and imaginations can have no limit in achieving.

Okay, lets say for this year, I would like to lose about 3-4kg in my body weight, and I would like to learn basic fighting techniques in Wing Chun, and maybe I could also find a girl this year(?). Well, I would be more than happy if I was able to actually find 1 that loves me as much as I love her. Its gonna be very hard, BUT I'm still gonna try, you will never know unless you try right?

Anyway, today during Wing Chun training, we were told that there was going to be PT (Physical Training) sessions. My heart sank when I heard it, I have not exercised for at least 6-7 months, and then it is gonna last for 8 weeks. What makes matters worse is that I think I have totally lost my stamina. So I guess it is gonna be tough for me.

I'm kinda tired so I'm gonna get some sleep now.

*Signing Off*

Week 2 of school after MST

Woke up at 5.50 today because Shannon texted me, haha she can actually be my alarm clock cause I don't think my alarm clock is not really effective, and just a message from her and I can wake up. Ironic isn't it?

Anyway I reached school particularly early because the sky was overcast, so my mum insisted that leave the house earlier so that I don't get caught in the rain. When I reached school, I went up to the classroom and I stood there in front of the classroom alone, and I started thinking about my Digital Electronics assignment and whether it was complete or not.

I went into class and I sat down, took my assignment out to do some final touch ups(?)
I then talked to Wei Cheng and Wei Jie about dota, I guess I gotta learn how to play better? When class started, we were told to hand up our hard copy of our report, and then show the lecturer our Multisim circuit. Well, the interview was easier than I thought, and basically the rest of the lesson I was just talking to my other classmates.

After DE was PEEE lesson and my stomach decided to growl badly, I needed to eat something BADLY. So I tried to endure and listen at the same time (rather difficult). After what seem-ed like eternity, the lesson finally ended and I went to eat lunch .

Okay, AutoCad lesson is starting soon and I am gonna play dota with my classmates. I shall stop here for now.

*Signing Off*

Poly life

It's been about 13-14 weeks since I have started studying in poly. All I can say is, wow, time REALLY FLIES. My mid semester test has ended about 2 weeks ago, and I am still waiting for my PEEE (Principals of Electrical and Electronic Engineering) paper to be returned to me. Before I stepped in to poly, I vowed to myself that I will go into poly where no one will know my past and whatever stupid mistakes I did before.

However, those mistakes keep haunting me in my sleep, they keep coming back in my memories from time to time. Those mistakes kept reminding me how stupid, childish and immature I was last time. Of course I will do whatever it takes to get rid of those stupid memories out of my mind. These memories, will resurface from time to time like a viper surfacing in and out of the ground to find it's prey.

Lately I have been having nightmares about those memories and also about thugs beating up and torturing my girl. If I remember the exact details, I was having a late night supper with my girl at some market that was almost empty (without many people). As my girl and I were eating, we were suddenly attacked by those thugs knocking me and my girl out. When I regained my senses, I found my girl being tortured and beatened up.

They chained my arms and legs so that I couldn't fight back, as I watched my girl slowly becoming lifeless, tears came out from my eyes, as my girl was beatened up and I as her boyfriend, couldn't do anything to help her. I begged them to spare my girl, in which I told them to beat me up instead. That was when I couldn't remember anything else.

I hope that dream will never ever happen to me, since I'm still looking for a girl that suits my taste. And if I do find her, I swear, I will NEVER let any thing bad happen to her, I will protect her, love her, care for her, hug her, look out for her, catch her when she falls, and lastly, never leave her side.

I'm a little tired, gotta get some sleep. Shall stop here for now.

*Signing Off*

Boring Day

After lunch, I decided to fix my old computer, and surprisingly I didn't get the results that I had expected to get. The computer lagged so much, even when I played Left 4 Dead 2 on it. SO, I decided to do a major cleanup for my desktop. I went to delete every single song and all those games that needed major patching. Then I went to surf YouTube and facebook.

The irritating thing is that YouTube keeps claiming copyrights to many shows and videos therefore I am unable to freaking watch them. It just sets me thinking, why can't they just let people upload the shows for people that missed the shows. I mean like be fair to people that also want to enjoy watching it.

Anyway today I didn't really do anything today. I switched on my laptop at around 10 in the morning, I guessed I have used it for excatly twelve hours already, BUT I think I'm gonna continue using it till about 12+ I guess?

Anyway I'm gonna play a bit of Dota (learning how to play properly).

*Signing Off*

No school

Today I woke up at around 5:50 because Shannon texted me on her way to school, and we chatted for about an hour then it was almost 7 and she had to go for morning assembly so I slept till 10 in which my mum woke me up because my mum had to change bed sheets for me, I went to my brother's room to sleep since my brother left early to go back to the army camp.

I ate breakfast, I think it wasn't really a breakfast because I ate cup noodles in the morning, which I think its not really healthy but since there was not much food in the house so I got no choice but to eat them. My mum just went out to buy lunch so I am just writing post. I was thinking what to do, many YouTube videos that I watched are staring to get removed due to copyright.

Basically my computer is starting to give me lesser and lesser entertainment. I think a day will come when I will really fall asleep right in front of the computer. Well who knows?

At least something good happened to me this week, my circuit design finally worked on MultiSim (a program that creates circuits by just placing electronic components and connecting them). Thanks to the help of Jonathan (my poly classmate), my circuit was able to work and I got a big load off my mind. Now I'm just left with the stupid interview and completing the report of the entire assignment.

I think later will be a good time to train my chain punching in Wing Chun, I will need to master that technique in order to protect my girl. I wanna learn how to fight multiple enemies at one go, and also finishing an enemy off without the enemy able to hit me. I guess that will be my resolution for year 1 in poly.

Its just after lunch, I think I'm gonna find something to do and maybe sleep again?

*Signing Off*

Day 4 after MST week

Today after lunch I was expectionally pissed off with someone, I shall not disclose the reason why, but its something to do with what that person said to me. Anyway I went home after school then I just sat down in front of my com and just started playing it, I played till about 7 then I went to have my dinner, then I went to bath then I played Zero Hour with Janson and Axel, and both matches didn't end well because both matches had sudden disconnections so it ended up as two incomplete matches.

Then I went to play Yuri's Revenge, and of course my laptop decided to lag ALOT when I wanted to play something fun. SO, I changed games to Dota, AND, I got trashed by an easy enemy because I don't know what skills to buy and also which NPC sells them, so the AI got till beyond godlike (basically making him impossible to kill). Now I am just awlfully pissed to the max. Nothing to fun to play, or too difficult to play, plus I got a bad day at the back of my head. F*** My Life.

I don't wanna write anymore, one more single word and I'll punch my hand through the computer screen.

*Signing Off*

After school (as in what happened after school, not the group After School)

After school, I reached back home, I was like dead tired because I was very hungry. I ate some instant noodles, then I got sleepy so I lied on my bed for awhile, then I went to messaged Shannon, and she went to M'sia to shop so I couldn't sms her or I will have to pay stupid extra charges if I send an overseas text.

After dinner, my brother came back from the army camp, and we had dinner, i think i ate about two portions of dinner cause I was very hungry. Then I weent to play computer games, then Shannon texted me back so we chated. On MSN, Chew Bok went to tell me what happened to him in his class today. Apparently it was his tutorial lesson, then he opened his itunes and his e-learning website to check out his project.

Unfortunately the lecturer walked past and saw him doing other stuff that was not related to that tutorial subject, so in the end he was chased out the classroom. Poor him. I played computer till about 12+ then went to sleep.

Anyway that was what basically happened that day (felt sleepy throughout the day though).

*Signing Off*

Day 1 of term 2

As usual I woke up at 7 to get my ass to school and of course, I snoozed my alarm for every ten minutes in order to get enough sleep so that I won't fall asleep when I am in school. When I reached school, I just sat down thinking about my Digital Electronics assignment that is due in a weeks time. Then subsequently, my friends came one by one and of course catched up with one another :)

When the lecturer came, I knew I was going to get back my MST (Mid Semester Test) results. Therefore the lecturer started calling our names one by one to collect our test paper, at the same time, the lecturer mentioned our marks as we were going out to collect our test paper. When my name was called, I was obviously nervous because when I did the paper, I was unsure on many things.

Suprisingly, I managed to get 79 out of 100, in which I think its a B+, therefore my GPA for that test is 3.5, in which I managed to achieve my target (I targeted a GPA of at least 3.4 for that test). I got this classmate Haziq, he was late for class (apparently he was late for class because he overslept), and he got the highest marks in our class (1 mark below the maximum marks of 100, in other words, he scored a score of ninety-nine out of a hundred)

Well, at least I was happy I did managed to achieve my target, all my frustrations and studying paid off I guess(?)

Currently its after lunch so I've got about 20 mins till my AutoCad lesson, and Jmeen noona is sitting right beside me right now <------- (I had to post this because Jmeen noona demanded that I post that I am sitting beside her, I don't know whats with her, but I guess I will just do as I am told to)

Well, now my AutoCad lesson is about to commence, I guess I will need to stop here right now. :)

*Signing Off*

Day 1 after MST

Today was the first day after my MST (Mid Semester Tests) ended, and I ended up nothing to do. Ryan asked me to go to school as planned so that I can teach him some basic maths for his test later that day. When he texted me, I woke up and had breakfast and switched on my laptop for a moment and that moment it HAD to rain when I was about to go to school to meet Ryan.

I left the house in a bad mood (and yes, the weather sometimes affects my mood) and the rain got worse (of course). I wanted to walk to school BUT obviously the rain HAD to become worse, so I took a bus to school instead. At the bus stop near my house, I saw Zheng Cong (my secondary four classmate), I waved to him but for the first two seconds he didn't recognised me (I guessed it was my long hair that was the reason I suppose).

In the bus we catched up a little as it was about 4 months since we last seen each other. At school, I had to divert my route here and there (because of the rain), and it took me about 16.5 minutes to reach the library (zzz). I reached the library, (I started sneezing because I had a cold when I woke up in the morning). We played games till about 1pm, then I taught him logarithms and the 3 laws, then we went for lunch at FC4 (Foodcourt 4 KouFu), and had my sliced fish bee hoon with tom yam soup (which I was craving for all week).

We chatted and ate at the same time till about quarter past 3, Ryan had to go for his exam so I headed home and went to on my laptop to play. A while later Ryan suddenly called my on my phone, he told me that his exam was actually at 1.30, in other words, he missed his exam timing. Well, I guess the only person he can count on is God in which whether God will help him in getting a retest.

Today was kinda boring especially during the evening, cause I suddenly felt so sick and tired of my computer games, so I decided to play Red Alert 2 (I practically finished the entire allied campaign which consists of 12 missions + training missions). Then I went to surf facebook, watch youtube, posted a status on facebook, then I played Zero Hour because Axel and Janson were also about to play so I just joined in.

Not really sastifying for me because I didn't get the results that I wanted, so maybe I just gotta try harder I guess?

Going to sleep soon, I'm quite tired.

*Signing Off*

Pissed Off

I made this post because I was extremely pissed off to the max. Don't ask why, I myself also don't know the reason. I just suddenly felt so useless and unhappy, maybe today's nap after I reached home. I dreamed that my girl was getting beaten up by thugs and those thugs chained my arms and legs, making me unable to move. As I watched my girl getting beaten up by those thugs, I felt helpless. IF I myself can't even protect my own girl, how am I even considered a real man, a man that is really to love, protect and support his girl and his family?

When I woke up, I was so angry with myself, I just scolded myself on how incompetent and useless I was. I was on the verge of crying but I held back my tears, as I cannot cry, if I cry, then I am useless guy. Therefore when I am about to cry, I will tell myself not to cry so that people won't see how weak my heart really is.

Going to sleep now, I am rather tired.

*Signing Off*

Rashes (cont'd) + MST

Rashes got irritatingly worse, scratching myself all over, super irritating, and i can't study with those rashes on. I ate my medicine just after lunch, and I felt a little better. I fear that during my exam, my rashes will break out and I will not be able to concentrate will during my exam.

Today was the first paper for my Mid Semester Test (MST). When I first looked at the paper, it wasn't too bad, but I sighed and said,"FML" to myself when I saw section B. I couldn't do much in terms of finding errors.

Really got nothing else to share about today, cause today nothing significant happened to me.

Shall stop here :)

*Signing Off*

Rashes

Haven't blogged for about 3-4 days already. I had a very bad allergic reaction and my whole body had rashes (I suffered because I couldn't sleep properly at night as I was scratching myself here and there. I couldn't eat any heaty food as the doctor told me either I had eaten something wrong (I guessed it was the prawn from the prawn noodles 2 days back), OR it was the released of all the built in heat inside my body from eating too much heaty food.

Anyway its near dinner time and I've got like about 22.5 minutes to type finish this post. These few days I felt so terrible, besides from having those stupid rashes, it was also that terrible feeling of missing someone. I think I have not seen her for quite sometime, and yeah, that feeling sucks when you miss someone but you can't see that person.

I miss you alot, like really alot. Well since you might or might not be seeing this I will just say whatever that is locked deep down inside my heart to you. The moment I saw you, I instantly fell in love with you, with some people saying that its called love at first sight. Although I think you won't see this, BUT I really want to tell you that I love you alot, BUT I can't, because I just don't have the courage to. AND you will never know how much my love for you really is, because I will never tell you anything, like what I said before, I will never tell a girl how I really feel about her unless I know she has the same feelings for me.

Well I don't really think you will see this post, so I guess my actions will be unknown to you.

baby come back to my world
come back and be my girl
그렇지 않으면 나는 널 죽도록 미워할 거란 걸 알아
널 사랑했던 마음이 미움으로 모두 다 바뀌기 전에
돌아와 어서 내게 잘못했다고 어서 얘기해

baby, come back to my world
come back and be my girl
if you don't, know that i'll hate you to death
before this heart that has loved you turns into hate
come back, quickly. that you're sorry, please, tell me

Okay I know that those lyrics are really random, but that is what it partially represents the deep feelings in my heart. Not gonna continue anymore, I'm already hurt by just writing this.

*Signing Off*

Stayover

I stayed over at Janson's house today, together with Ryan and Axel. I could say it was very fun especially when we went swimming. During swimming, Axel decided to actually swim WITH his specs on, it came out and the pool was quite deep, it was about 10 at night so it was very dark so it was very difficult to see the actual location of the specatcles. Chew Bok asked his friend (a swimmer) to help us with the search of the missing spectacles.

After about half an hour of searching, Ryan took Janson's goggles, and just rendomly swim down to one spot, and he came out of the water saying," YAYYYY!!!! I FOUND IT!!!" All of us were relieved and of course, stopped swimming. After we showered and got changed, we played computer games till about 12 when I felt very hungry. To make matters worse, my stomach suddenly decided to become unstable, obviously making me feeling very uncomfortable.

We went to the 7-11 near to his house and I bought some noodles to eat, at his house, my stomach felt better and we continued playing till about half past 2, that was when my body decided to shut down so I decided to get some sleep (about an hour) befroe waking up and continue to play other computer games. It was about half past two when I went to sleep, in which about half past three when I was supposed to wake up.

But when I checked my clock on my phone, it was half past nine. So I woke up and played games till 12 when the four of us when to the market to grab some lunch, and after lunch, my stomach decided to become unstable again. When I reached back to Janson's house, my sister Venessa was already there. Janson, Ryan and Axel decided to start playing Warcraft, and I tried to get some sleep but it was too noisy so I gave up sleeping.

Venessa pestered me to borrow her my phone, so currently she is playing Tap Tap on my phone, with my earphones on too. Wing Chun starts about an hour and a half from now, so it just leaves me about an hour to play. Gotta start playing now :)

*Signing Off*

Dinner + emotions

Today I had a very nice dinner with my friends, fried rice with fried chicken wings. Honestly we had a great time of happiness, but it looks like that happiness is still not enough to erase whatever pain and depression that is locked deep down in my heart.

Throughout the dinner, I was eating and thinking of that girl, if only I was able to bring her out with me to have a meal, if only I can tell her how much I love her, if only she knows how much I really love her, if only she can text me. As I said before, in the end, it will just be my own wishful thinking.

I fooled everyone with my smile today, and I was glad that no one found out about anything. Its better though, so that I won't spoil the mood of the dinner gathering. I was thinking to myself," Why am I always feeling so sad?" I actually wanted to be happy, like any other ordinary person. I wanted happiness in my life, I never wanted this to heppen, I never wanted myself to be sad in any way. I can't blame on those girls that I used to like. I felt miserable whenever I have to avoid those girls, but I had no choice. If I appear in front of them, their minds will be like," Why do you have to appear in front of me? Do you know you are an embarrassment"

Thats the reason why I ALWAYS avoid them. I swear that from now on I will NEVER EVER tell a girl that I like her, instead I will just keep everything deep inside my heart, and just watch her from afar. Its difficult for me, but I have to endure it. For the past 6 years I have been doing it, life in school was pretty tough for me. In any case, I have learned the art of avoiding them so well, if I can avoid, then I avoid, if I can't avoid, then I try to delay myself, ensure that they walk past without seeing me, then I continue walking. If everything fails, I just take out my phone = (problem solved).

I guess I have to stop here, writing more just hurts me more.

*Signing Off*

Love

What excatly is love? Love is not love when 2 perfect people come together, it is when 2 imperfect people come together to learn, respect and enjoy each other's differences, that is called true love. 

Anyway I posted this because deep down inside my heart, I want a girl. For the past 16.5 years of my life, I never got into a relationship, and that love was only one sided. Most of the time, I never felt happy as I hated to be always in a one sided love relationship. Whenever I confessed, I always gotten the result I never wanted. After that, I will have to avoid that girl so that I don't embarrass her. People say that I am a coward for avoiding her, its just that I don't want her to see me and remind her of the embarrassment.

Whenever I see couples holding hands on the streets, I will think to myself,"Why can't I be as happy as them?" I sweared to myself that I will not cry about love after I failed to confess to the previous girl that I liked. Its meaningless, besides no matter how much I cried, the other party won't know, and its pointless to even let the other party know about it, it just puts you in an awkward situation. 

I have seen some of my friends getting into successful relationships (still continuing), and I have also seen some friends getting unsuccessful relationships but succeeding later on. But when I take a good look at myself, I am just another loser in relationships. Perhaps I have this deadly aura until so many girls avoid me like plaque. I would probably guess that is one of the reasons why I was an outcast with my class girls during my upper secondary school days. 

Some of my friends know that my ideal girl is Choi Sooyoung of Girl's Generation. BUT thats not true, because I have another ideal girl, but I can't disclose the name due to respect reasons. To others she may not be the perfect girl, but to me, she is. And after my one sided unsuccessful love relationships, I have decided to keep it as a secret deep inside my heart, and I will not let her know. The reason is that I do not want history to repeat itself, and to not get my heart hurt again and again. 

The only thing I can do now is to watch her from afar as she forgets about me bit by bit until my existence in her mind has vanished completely. Other people walk together with their life partners, but I, will walk alone, be it during times of bliss or of despair. I will fool everyone with that smile on my face be it in school or with friends and let others see the smile on my face and not the despair and sadness kept deep within my heart.

I guess I have succeeded in fooling many many people including my family members with my smile. It's too easy to fool them, because most people after looking at the smile, they believe that you are happy inside too, and they leave them alone, the moment that person is sad, people around that person will easily notice. But for me, with that smile, I can practically fool ANYONE quickly and easily.

As I walk through the darkness alone, no girl will see me, besides I doubt any girl will even fall for me, I am not handsome, strong or fit. Most girls nowadays look for looks, muscular size. Very few of them will actually look what's deep inside the heart. So I guess that I'm gonna have a hard time looking for one. After my failed one sided love relationships, I am starting to lose hope in love. 

In all I guess I have no one to blame except for myself for having such ill rotten luck. 
이 세상은 잔혹한 장소입니다
*Signing Off* 

Body aching / Racist Video that I saw on YouTube today

I slept at about 4 yesterday cause i was creating the previous post, and also because my area was raining, so I basically couldnt sleep. I woke up today with my limbs aching, and also because my mum wanted me to go downstairs to eat lunch with her. I was also kinda a little pissed with my mum as I was forced to go down to eat (which I did't want cause my body was aching). So during lunch I got more and more pissed when I was eating my Fried Fish Bee Hoon soup (炸鱼片米粉). But after the meal, as I walked back home, I was reflecting on my own actions and obviously I knew I shouldn't do that ever again.

2 hours later (which is now) I continued this post cause I was watching videos on youtube, and I was also lazy to do my tutorials. I didn't really do much work this morning.

(THE NEXT POST IS　A　LITTLE OFFENSIVE IN TERMS OF LANGUAGE)
8 hours later, I saw this video in which is called the Misrepresentation of Singaporeans on German TV. After I saw that video, I was fuming mad. I replied this (sorry for any offensive language):

"Who the fuck cares if we Singaporeans like to keep birds? To all Germans who think that its crazy, its called a fucking hobby. Unless you are telling me YOU yourself don't have hobbies. AND we bury our ancestors so that we know that they will have a better life in heaven, it's not called overly crazy. AND we CAN eat chewing gums in SG, we just can't anyhow litter them. LASTLY, that temperature check was during the SARS outbreak. Get your fucking facts right first before calling us crazy singaporeans"

I was fuming mad because that video was downright disrespecting our cultures and beliefs in Singapore. One part of the video went ,"It was a day of ghost hunting. Results? Ghosts: 0 Crazy Singaporeans: Little (referring to those ghost hunters which the German show's correspondent that thinks so). The last part of the video got me fuming me so much I just wanted to shout right into the computer screen. The reporter said this," After this experiment, I believe I can summarise with good conscience, the Singaporeans are not just crazy, they are tremendously crazy (with a sarcastic smile on his face".

Trust me, if I ever see him in public, I WILL go up to him and slap his face. He has no right to say that we are crazy, just because the elderly in Singapore keep birds and buy expensive cages for them, does not give you people a right to call us crazy. Also, we buy and spend money to bury our ancestors so that the can enjoy life in heaven. You people have no right to call us crazy just because we spend some money just to have a proper burial for our ancestors. You are downright insulting our culture, and you people are simply ignorant.

If any of you want the link its here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZtHnJu9p74

(I edited out the vulgarites in case someone else manages to find my blog and reports it, highly unlikely, but I will take no risks)

Anyway, I shall not comment on this anymore, it will just get me more mad. Its 1:07am in the morning, its kinda late, and I shall get some sleep already, besides my mum don't really like me staying up too late just because I like to blog :)
*Signing Off*